Handshake Firmness

The inspiration for this thread...There was someone interviewing for the company I work for yesterday and apparently he had a soft handshake, which caused a 10 minute discussion among the ladies doing the paperwork as to whether or not we hired him, based solely on those grounds. They both heard something different but needed to know whether or not to print the resume and get his job info prepared.

I have no problems with the custom of handshakes but why is there so much emphasis put on the firmness of a handshake?

I find judging a person's (realistically pretty much solely an issue for men) character based on their handshake grip epitomizes shallowness. If the person came prepared in all other aspects, I don't understand why a loose handshake would supercede his qualifications and all points to meet specific to the job application.

Further elaborating, the obvious reasons why I take issue with this is that the person could have arthritis , nerve damage or some other condition which may not necessarily be relevant to mention on the application for the prospective job. But even aside from those circumstances, it just seems like an odd way to judge someone's character that you have presumably never met before.


TL/DR: Why does the firmness of a handshake matter? Consider people with arthritis/nerve damage and what in the hell does the custom supposedly suggest about character?

 

How I feel about a person's handshake is more of a visceral reaction. I tend to get a better feeling from people who have a firm and confident hand shake.

 

Hmm. A not so firm handshake from someone might make you think the person found you icky. lol.

 

It has been a while since I was in a position to shake someone's hand. With my current arthritis I would not welcome a firm handshake. I used to have a firm handshake (or at least I thought so). Not likely anymore.

I think it was supposed to be a sign of confidence.

I remember when I was working a prospective employee was brought into our office to meet everyone. As she was approaching my area I saw her sneeze into her hand. When she came up to me I declined shaking her hand saying that I had a cold (not true). I was not willing to get a cold on her account.

 

i hate firm shakes...like someone stated before it can hurt for people with arthritis ...i also just plain dont like touching people...especially their dirty filthy germ infested hands

 

Wouldn't these qualities be demonstrated during the actual interview?

 

I had a boss tell me about doing interviews once and he said if the person had a limp shake then they probably wasn't a good fit. I don't really care for shaking hands but when i do I prefer firm but not bone crushing i guess.

 

Being a woman and interviewing for any number of jobs in the south (in the south is key here imo)...I have always tried to not let any ego show, unless it was to let them be aware that I knew the subject matter (whatever that was). Down south, I have been told by more than one male professional there "is no place down south for a well-educated, well-spoken women unless it is in the school system". I was informed of this not as an interviewee, but as a client...we were discussing things and me wanting a job - but not from or for these individuals, and it was helpful for me to know that it wouldn't hurt to 'tone it down', so to say, if I wanted a successful interview. lol

Confidence is the same way - being a woman in the south, it is according to who is interviewing and what they ask if a person should be confident, or merely "able and just dying to learn." lol

_________________________________________________



I discovered the restaurant/food business only cares if you do your job and bust your ass every second. ... and those of us that have been in the food business generally like a firm handshake.

When someone has arthritis or nerve problems that would affect one's handshake, that is a whole other ballgame, and something like that should be noted during the application, shouldn't it? So, of course that would affect one's ability to give a firm handshake and I would think make the whole handshake ritual unnecessary.

_____________________________________________________


Growing up in the church, I have shaken many many MANY hands.

All my life, young people that had a weakfish/barely can touch you handshake stood out to me, and not in a good way.

 

Having worked in HR handshakes are part of business. I actually hope that it is a custom that does not go by the wayside.

Nothing wrong with some etiquette.

 

I couldn't care less about a persons handshake. When I used to interview people I wouldn't even follow the questions on the paper they gave us. I remember a few years ago I went in for an interview for a particular job and they said "nice to meet you".. and I responded with "good how are you" lol.. if they cared about petty shit like that they woulda kicked me out right there.

 

Your shake should match your personality and the situation. A lot of young people seen to think you can show domination by squeezing the crap out of you hand but it just shows me your still young. And a soft hand trying to hard seems weak to me. A respectable hand shake for the situation is easy to figure out.

 

I would hope that the person would be hired based on their ability to do the position in question.

Maybe it would matter if they were being hired to shake hands with lots of people.

 

a hug means i want you to be happy. a handshake means i'm not carrying a weapon in my hand.

of course a handshake requires less of invading someone else's space
which is probably why they're prefered in an american culture,
that creates every reason to assume the other guy probably is "icky", in one way or another.

 

Handshakes are kind of a phony thing. It's like one of things you do just because it's proper. In reality, who wants to shake someone's dirty hand who has probably been stroking it with that same hand?

I think too firm is as bad as too limp if you're trying to make an impression on someone for whatever reason. About a year ago, my workplace's new boiler operator introduced himself to me and just about crushed my hand when he shook it. My initial thought was, "wow, this guy must be a dick." It turned out to not really be true, but that is the initial vibe I got, because nobody shakes your hand that hard unless they're just as asshole.... usually.

Not too firm and not too limp is the way to go.

 

I don't really want to have my hand shaken, either, but if someone does go to do that, i cannot stand wet noodle, effeminate hand shakes from males.......Show me strength and confidence.....not to break my hand,either....but firmly....Of course, I don't mean if someone has arthritis or something.....I am not too touchy of a person, anyway.....and my touches matter.....

 

Men with weak handshakes need to have their testicles examined.

These days, from what I hear, there's a bigger issue with women's equality in the workplace. Some women expect you to shake their hand, but, as a man, you're afraid of breaking their hand with your ubermench handshake. Not an easy situation to solve.

 

I'm not in a position to shake many hands anymore...

In the past if some guy was wrenching down on my hand in some show of ego/manliness/assholeism/whatever I would, in an obvious manner, smash back until they chilled out. Arthritis or not, I could still smash a guys hand if I needed to.


What I really hate are these guys that think you are "just supposed to know" some weird handshake from the "hood"...

 

The real purpose of the hand shake was to prove you were not carrying a dagger in the old days. So it's a good way to start of a conversation with someone new. For a long time I think the weak hand shake would be seen as effeminate or weak and thus bad. After all you don't want to be working with any queers do you? There was a time when that kind of masculine thinking was prevalent. I was taught to have a firm hand shake by my grandfather but I would not judge someones qualifications for a job based on their handshake.