had some weird-ass dreams today

I had two crazy dreams today:

first I was a businessman with a corner office in some north american city and everyone was freaking out, because we were watching our TV's in horror as the news was announced that all of Britain had been submerged. Everyone thought it was the beginning of the end and people started jumping out of office windows, thinking the aporcalypse was coming -- but then Jesus came to me, emerging out of the clouds beyond my beautiful corner office window as a shimmering mirage, then slowly materializing as he passed through the glass into my office. No one else could see him, so we had a chat. He basically told me that the holy father had decided to delete England and that there was nothing to worry about.

In my second dream: I was chilling with my buddy at school and there were these posters up everywhere promoting a conference for political science student where Stephen Harper would be the main speaker. We basically found Harper wandering the halls with this giddy, childish look on his face like he had been dosed with lucy. We were surprised and wondered what was up, so we started talking to him, and it soon became apparent that he was pretty much mentally a child. He kept saying that he wanted his mommy and that he didn't want to stand up on that stage and talk to all the students. He said "I'm tired. too tired." so we told him we would buy him a bag of chips and a lollipop from Atwater metro if he would come home with us.
After he got his bag of chips, he became a little more normal, although still not fully adult in intellect. We got off at Place des Arts and took tried to take him home on the 80, but we kept getting yelled at by liberal Quebecois Uqam students, so we just walked home in the cold autumn drizzle and stopped by the SAQ to get some rye and a bunch of cans of coke and ginger ale, then we went to our buddy alex's house. We basically ended up giving Mr. Harper a rye and ginger and he became much more normal, like an adult, but with a childish sort of sense of silly playfulness.
We basically watched youtubes and joked around with the Prime minister for a while and then got him to have a tam tam drum jam. Alex's roomate came in and she was all like "oh my god. I can't believe you guys are hanging out with Stephen harper" and just sort of sighed in exasperation and closed the door. The atmosphere was all a lot like when Harold and Kumar meet George W. Bush in the second Harold & Kumar movie, except Harper was a little more childish and innocent and gullible to an extreme level. We ended up feeding him all sorts of completely ridiculous political ideas just for shit's and giggles. Mr. Harper puked in one of Alex's Jimbay drums and we all ended up passing out on couches and chairs and stuff.
We woke up in the morning to find a bunch of tinted window Lincolns outside and some guys in suits threatened waterboarding and made us sign a non-disclosure agreement. Apparently, Mr. Harper always did this; his wife Loreen told us he always sort of wandered off and ended up getting dosed by random citizens and would always get home wearing a bandana and smoking a roach and wake up to announce some sort of completely unexpected legislation, usually some crazy hipster idea with a conservative spin on it. He usually didn't remember these nights, or claimed not to and would be his usual conservative self again, as soon as his wife brought him his favourite fluffy bunny slippers.
I don't know why Loreen told us all of this. I guess she was just worried about her husband, but she said that we had been good friends for him and that she wished he would wander into houses of people more like us more often. Apparently he usually ended up in FLQ flop houses, getting dosed with roofies at clubs or having Natives in crack park tell him he couldn't be "homies" with them unless he drank at least two bottles of Molson 10.1. Loreen told us we had taken good care of him and said that if we would sign the non-disclosure agreement, not only would she not let her cesis goons waterboard us, but maybe she would bring Mr. Harper over for a "playdate" next time he was in Montreal.
We signed the paper . But honestly, who could expect me not to share a story like this with at least HF?

I woke up with a hard on, which was pretty inexplicable, but it was a good story nonetheless. I think I smoked too much tobacco last night or something...

 

i had this dream once there was a giant book ,, so big I couldnt read it..

 

i had a crazy dream last night too. i don't remember it, i just remember thinking "this is a crazy dream."

there's a reason the term "morning wood" exists.

 

Lol I wake up with a hard on every morning.

But I just had some fucked up dreams last night too. It seems a bit recurrent though this one was different in some ways. Some fucked up shit was going on, unrest.. mass chaos everywhere. All the ammo cases were out, the guns were out and there were 15-20 people in my house needing help and seeking shelter.

How crazy would it be to wake up from a dream into that reality? It seems possible at this point.

 

I dream of ass all the time

 

If you want realllly vivid dreams take a zinc supplement

 

same here.

Boobs are for touching and Asses are for looking in my books. -- but also the other way around, too