Had sex with a girl can’t get her off my mind

Ok so I’m 37 and my wife and I have been swingers or in an open marriage for years now. We both have sex with other people and enjoy each other being with others. We play alone or as a couple depending on the situation. Anyway I stared talking to a girl on an app the other night and we hit it off. She is 25 and a cute little spinner 5’0 small petite girl pretty face out of my league really but she wanted to meet me. I was honest with her about everything about being married etc . She lives about an hour a way and drove up to my place a couple of nights ago while my wife wasn’t here (my wife knew and approved) anyway things went great. We talked for a couple of hours and hung out and joked around etc I didn’t think she would wanna have sex with me but she did! And It was awesome! She was so sweet and pretty and tiny and DIRTY! I have had sex with many women since I’ve been married but this is the first time I feel enamored with a girl after sex. I love my wife more than anything and having this feeling bugs me because there is no doubt I’m going to see this girl again as long as she’s willing. Do you all think the feeling will just pass?

 

Personally, this isn't my scene, but if your wife approves, why does this feeling ''bug'' you?

 

Because it’s always only about sex I can always keep that way. This is the first time I’ve had any feeling for someone I’ve had sev with more than friendship besides my wife. I’m sure it’s just infatuation and will pass. Just something I haven’t experienced before.

 

I'm sceptical your wife would actually be ok with you seeing a much younger woman, I assume the wife is same age as you

 

She is 34 three years younger. Yes she’s ok with it as I said we both play with others.

 

I wouldn't pursue it. Unless you want to end your marriage. If you can't tell your wife how you feel, what's the point of being married? I guess I don't understand your logic.

 

I did tell her how I’m feeling and she understands. Told me not to worry about it and just to be happy I found a new FWB and the feelings will pass. This is not about me hiding something from my wife I’m not sure how much clearer about that I have to be.

 

You don't think that fucks with the sanctity of your marriage?

 

No we’ve been married since two days after my wife graduated high school and been open since year two of our Marriage so that’s 14 years we have been swinging/open this the first time I’ve had these feelings. I’m just wondering if other like Minded people have been through the same thing and if they think it’s just an infatuation that will pass or if I should not see the young lady anymore. But so far no one in an open Relationship has posted. New to these boards maybe I miss judged what I would find here? I don’t mean that negatively.

 

There are some similar members. I've seen posts like this one before. But I don't know if the people who post about swinging stick around. It's like they make one post about swinging and you never see them again.

I've had strong feelings for a woman similar to what you're describing, only I wasn't in a relationship at the time. I've never been married though. I still think the woman who I was attracted to is attractive, but it's no longer the unhealthy sort of attraction, jealous and lustful and influential in my judgments and decision making, which it was when I was in my early twenties. I'm 38 now, single... and I seldom, actually I never have these feelings about anyone anymore.

If I had to guess and give advice about this though I would have to say: It looks to me like there are two options. Stay with your wife and stop seeing the other woman, or stop seeing your wife and pursue a long term commitment with the other woman. I don't think you can be a very effective lover with both women in your life.

That's my opinion. Take it or leave it.

 

I recall reading somewhere that cats who keep their love broad & open tend to keep relationships going longer than those that don't. Anyway man feelings are feelings. Long as we don't hide from them we can use them to grow. Ask yourself what you can learn from these feelings

 

You are lucky, enjoy it.

 

Your wife sounds like she doesn’t care as long as it stays as an emotionless FWB situation. But I think you have feelings now and that changes things. Your wife sounds like she would mind if you start looking at this girl as more than FWB.

This is why I could never do the open marriage thing, people always catch feelings.....eventually.

 

You misjudged what you would find here? And what was it your expecting? Everyone to agree with what you want to believe.

You seriously think we are going to believe your wife is going to be ok in all respects with you banging a woman 9 years younger than her?

And even if she truly is, you think thats a good thing in all ways? Especially in the future?

 

First of all way in the hell would I lie about it on here?! That had NOTHING to do with my post! My wife has sex with other guys more often than I do other women. Besides a couple of reply’s no one seems to get the point of my post . Sorry I came here. Forum moderator please delete this thread

 

haha Don't be so dramatic. We are trying to help you.

I answered your post above. No offense, your situation isn't that complex. You basically have emotional feelings for a chick you're banging, and don't want your wife to know that you do. And you want to keep banging her thinking that those feelings will subside. Truthfully, your feelings will likely only get stronger for this other girl, and your wife will soon be in the background.

My advice would be to end it with this girl, or leave your wife and see where things lead with this girl. But, you won't be able to juggle your emotions for both, for long.

 

Thanks for the replay as I said a couple of People have understood what I’m talking about. But one thing I did tell my wife about the feelings and she told me not to worry about it that’s it’s just Infatuation and I’ll grt over it. I’m basically wanting to get peoples thoughts on if I should keep seeing her and hope that’s all it is or just stop. Leaving my wife is not an option nor will it ever be.

 

Then, you should probably leave this girl, because you caught feelings for her. If you play with fire, you'll get burned...eventually.

 

You're swapping bodily fluids with a younger lady... It's no surprise you've developed some feelings. You love your wife and leaving her is out of the question. Of course it is... No one in their right mind wants to ruin their marriage over an infatuation. Honestly I think you need to be very careful here... Further contact with this young woman will likely only increase your feelings for her. If keeping the marriage alive is the goal I think backing away from the fling is the right call, albeit very difficult in practice.

 

I agree wholeheartedly.
Their is always going to be someone else out there that is comparable with you, So looking for them once you are committed in a relationship is a dangerous game, that will only end up in untold guilt, misery and heartbreak.