Guys, how would you feel if this happened to you?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by amanda18_, Jun 4, 2013.

  1. amanda18_

    amanda18_ Member

    How would you react to this? Would you ask her out again.

    Okay for example, you get to know a girl and you start liking her so you ask her out. In front of both of your friends. Here's what happened, we were just chillin sitting with friends and (the girl likes the guy back) and the girl asks "hey, drew do you like white girls?" And he puts his head down and smiles and says yeah,....I like any kind of person...then he puts his head down again and after awhile he says " Ashley, I like you would you go on a date with me?" All your friends are like awwww, but the girl is just sitting there, pretty much speechless. He kept asking me, would you, would you? But I had my guard up and then he put his head down and was like okay, I'll stop asking before she gets mad at me.
    Okay, if this happened to you and the girl tried to make up for it or ask you if you still wanted to go out..would you?
    Another thing is you're talking to another girl, but you had been talking to her wayyy before you asked this girl out.
    And based on how he asked her out, how much do you think he liked her?
  2. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

    Some things to mention:

    1. You omitted the age of everyone in this hypothetical scenario

    2. The girl that was put on the spot should've played cool and deflected saying "Hmm I don't know, being put on the spot like this I can't tell if I'm being patronized or if your being serious, if you had approached me privately you might have an answer"

    3. It's impossible for a 3rd party to tell how much someone likes someone else.

    Obviously it's too late for #2...

    It's also possible he's lost interest, not much you can do about that.

    How much time has passed between the scenario and when "Ashley" wants to get a second chance.
  3. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member


    Shared initiative is the gold standard of relationships to me. As long as it doesn't become a hot and cold pattern, I don't see a problem if she needed time to give you an answer or even changed her mind.

    As long as she took the initiative to communicate her feelings clearly. That's solid gold and just as rare.
  4. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

    takes some balls to risk being rejected in front of friends

    and you rejected him

    i'd never give you another shot uness you were really pretty

    i'm a sucker for a prett face and kinda shallow though:)
  5. amanda18_

    amanda18_ Member


    2.yeah, she definitely didn't think things completely through when she was put on the spot

    & it's been awhile, like a year or so. She tried talking to him about it but it was completely in the wrongggg setting. She tried asking about the date while he was with his friends. So that naturally didn't go too well. Then she stopped trying and sent him a text like 2-3weeks later trying to explain herself when he asked her out & his response wasn't too great either. I personally think she dragged the whole thing out too long. He asked her out, it took like a week for her to say anything to him about it....and another week to talk to him again...

    4. Many people say she embarrassed him here?

    - the first time she got courage to come and talk to him about the date, she went up to him after a football game and was like, "we're you serious when you asked me out" he just looked at her for about like 10 seconds and started nodding shyly. Then he asked " were you angry at me when I asked you out?" She said no, and he said "we'll, i talk about you all the time" &then his friend came over, took her hand, got down on 1 knee and was like, "it's an honor I've heard so much about you." Her plan that day was to actually get the date set up, but she got caught up and he had walked away really fast with his friends....
  6. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    Hmm, why doesn't "she" and this guy in question just meet up and talk about it privately? The worst thing that can happen is that one of "them" gets turned down. Sounds like it's been a long time since the initial proposition took place, so in a way this would be a good method to bring some sort of closure to the situation at least.
  7. RooRshack

    RooRshack On Sabbatical

    Well, I would say you totally blew it, he put himself on the line in a way he didn't need to, but in exchange, you TOTALLY fucked him. You have no chance, ever.

    But, it also sounds like you can't be more than about 16, so, maybe you do have some chance, things are more malleable then.

    Think about what the fuck you're doing, not what douchebag "friends" think or say or do, when it relates to your happiness.
  8. amanda18_

    amanda18_ Member

    Nah, 18-19 & I mean it sounds really bad but that definitely wasn`t my intention b/c I liked him too. Why`d you say I TOTALLY fucked him tho.? Thats harshh.

    Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2
  9. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

    I would move on and not waste anymore of my time.
  10. Voyage

    Voyage Noam Sayin

    Cherea, dood, i had seriously misjudged you in the past... you're an ass sometimes but then you say shit like that.

  11. Lodog

    Lodog ¿

    I've never asked a girl out in public unless it was on a dare or bet or knew any friends that asked a girl in public unless on a dare or bet... go ahead and marinate on that for a minute.
  12. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    I think you're wasting time talking to us about it, instead of just asking him out.
    Send him a text or something.
    Just say that you're interested and that you'd like to spend some time with him.

    He already took initiative once, now it's your turn. For better or worse, you'll know where you stand.
    Don't be a coward, just do it.

    PS: Don't assume anything and get your hopes up in case he way just joking. Was he joking? Only you can tell us that, because you know the guy.
    If he's shy and socially awkward, then he was probably meant it.

    If he's popular and didn't expect that you would say yes (are you shy?), then he was probably just trying to see your reaction.
    He's probably interested in you on some level, but it could be just for sex.
  13. amanda18_

    amanda18_ Member

    Yeah, I asked him to his face if he was serious when he asked me out & he said he was serious. I waited too late to answer his question...I gradually tried to talk to him about it weeks @ a time instead of just all at once &. I blew it pretty much. I don`t think his interest was solely on sex though.

    Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2
  14. amanda18_

    amanda18_ Member

    In public you mean infront of your friends..

    Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2
  15. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    Once again: what are you waiting for?
    Send him a text and figure out whether he's still interested or not.
    You want some clarity right? Don't drag this out, then.

    You can say you blew it after you find out from him, that it's actually true.
  16. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

    I don't go for politically correct mincing of words nor do I give preferential treatments to mobs of any kind whether or not I'm supposedly a part of that mob.

    I try to engage each situation on a case-by-case basis, and if someone is being an ass; you can bet your bottom dollar I'm much more prone to being an ass right back at them.

    So far, I do not see any assnine behavior coming from the girl described in the OP.


    P.S. passive aggressive asses are still asses in sheep costume.
  17. amanda18_

    amanda18_ Member

    Okay I texted him.
    Me: hey , can I talk to you about something.
    Him:Ashh! What do you have to share?
    Me: when you asked me out awhile ago I wasnt sure if you were serious or not, thats why I hesitated when you asked me out. I just wanted to clarify.
    Him: yeah, im talking to.someone now, im really sorry :/
    Me: its cool, but you missed out on an opportunity!
    Him: I miss you Ash!
    ....& i didnt text back....

    Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2
  18. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

    Sounds like you blew it! Lesson learned. Don't expect people to wait around. I sure as hell would not.
  19. amanda18_

    amanda18_ Member

    :/ last weekend I saw him & we ignored each other, its sad b/c I pretty much caused us to be how we are today. It might be different if I would have said something the first time....:(

    Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2
  20. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    I'm sorry about this. At least now you know how things stand and can move on.

    Honestly, I don't think you would have hesitated, if you were really ready to be with him in the first place. Sometimes it's not the right person, other times it's not the right time.
    When you're prepared to be with someone, it will all click.

    Just listen to yourself and your instincts. They are always right.

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