Growing Into Your Quirks Or I'm Getting Weird.

I am a weird person and my surroundings just don't seem to accept that. I was always pretty much weird, my culture references were always a decade behind. I was a 90s baby obsessed with Star Wars before the prequels. The other kids thought it was a thing I made up. I grew into myself rather well and the weirdness was a moot point for awhile since I was more successful at most social interactions than others.

I have gotten to a point where my quirks make it difficult to go a long with society. I am not even afforded the typical sympathy most unique people get. I look like a boss, celebrity, or man of action and can do really well in bs social interactions as long as they are short but this exhausts my will power. I went so far as to grow out my hair and beard for 3 years to hide my look and people really did treat me better during that time period.

I am a thinker. I spend all my time reading or writing. If my brain isn't processing information I get extreme anxiety. I don't like simple fun things like movies or going to the beach bc my brain is to loud for it. I have talking to people on the phone. It really bothers me that I can't see someone's face while talking to them. I never have a set sleep pattern, bc I need to be completely exhausted for my brain to shut off and sleep. I can't use an alarm or person to wake me up, bc I think and write in my sleep, and it's painful if that's interrupted. If I don't wake up naturally I suffer severe migraines all day. I don't experience time normally. I might put something on my to do list and get to it 4 years later but that feels like no time at all to me, almost like I got to it a week later. The most difficult for other people is I have a que in head. I call it my brain space. There is so much activity, that I have a long list of things to get through, do, or even just think about, that's right I have so many thoughts I put them in boxes and assign a number to get to that thought and think about it. Well if someone, a friend, gf, or family member wants anything from me, it can't be impromptu, bc this messes up my que and destroys my brain space. I was a little more normal when I was younger, I know what stressed or frazzled is, this is beyond that. Messing up the que in my brain space is the worst possible thing that can happy to me, it will restart my que and set me back months of thoughts. I need new things to be processed introduced months ahead of time.

Well I guess I'm just curious if dealing with other people is like this for anyone else. I know people would say there is something wrong with me and I could be happier with some help, but the thing is I am extremely happy and have the highest level of satisfaction I ever had. The problems are when society (bills, expectations) or other people intrude. I am probably great 70% of the time then I run into someone intolerant who is very rude to me or about my lifestyle and it is very disruptive. Why can people be so rude or judgmental if a normal or typical life style isn't satisfying to you?

 

Because they can't comprehend being different than the norm...

 

Are you on the spectrum?

 

I identify with a lot of what you said.

 

yeah sounds like mild aspergers


i can relate

 

I don't know what that is, so probably not?

Respect to the posters that identify with this.

 

It sounds like you're struggling with undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome (the mild end of the Autism spectrum). It might be worth speaking to a psychologist about diagnoses and strategies for dealing with it.

 

well one reason society has to intrude is, like you said....bills. the electric company isn't OK with getting paid 4 years later.

 

if you're extremely happy and satisfied, keep it going bud. 70% is great.

get some prescribed aderoll pills and change your que schedule to:

"okay tonight, I pop an adderall and do my bills/things far in the que that need to get done today." Not an everyday user but once a week?


Everyone struggles to socialize (some more than others). Socializing in and of itself is putting up a facade. lol everyone does it though because they don't want to admit the truth in public or appear unliked.

Also because facades make us feel better. Which is also what socializing is (you can look at this as a positive).

Do you have a lot of leisure time or do you hate that?

 

Are you in a long-term relationship? It sounds like something that can be solved by having someone in your life who's good at the stuff you're not good at. I have issues with similar things, but I've found that I can train myself to do the things I need to do. Of course, it's a lot easier when I have people in my life who look out for me...remind me of things, or just inspire me to do it.

 

i don't buy it. everyone is aware of star wars.

 

Star what?

 

then THEY must be delusional, becaus the norm is a mythical beast.