Hey! My boyfriend and I have been having sex in a room with another couple having sex in the same room a few times with the same couple. So no swapping or touching, just watching each other have sex. The girl in the other couple is a friend of mine and the guy is my boyfriend's friend. Last time we had sex in the same room, the guys were encouraging us girls to start touching each other, knowing we are both bisexual. Well, I don't find her attractive at all, and because she is my friend, I didn't want her to feel bad if I said that, so I went ahead and did some small things with her. We kissed and licked each others nipples. After that I became so uncomfortable that I said I was just so tired so we should stop. No one forced me to do anything, it was my fault. I didn't want her to feel unattractive. I'm worried this could become a problem. I don't know how to turn down the women who I don't find attractive, because I'm worried about hurting their feelings. In the future, what should I say so that the woman I'm turning down doesn't feel unattractive? Im already so bad at saying no. There is another girl that suggested that we full on makeout next time we get drunk. I really don't want to with her, but she is my friend too, and I didn't want her to feel unattractive, so I again said yes. I'm just hoping she forgets. (I am bi, I just don't know how to nicely say "no" to a friend who I am not attracted to.)
Same way you turn down a guy when you don't know how he will react. "I just value what we have as friends, and this feels like a bell we cannot un-ring, a boundary from which we could never properly return. I don't want to be physical with you." "Girl, please. It would be like incest. No!" "That's just not the limd of swinging I want to do. No swapping. Hard boundary." In the future, make your boundaries clear to your partner BEFOREHAND. If you had told him privately that you don't want to fuck your friend, he'd have shut it down before it became your problem.
