Greyhounds Go Better on Coke?

Dear Greyhounds,
Please stop spending your race winnings on drugs, mmm'kay? We know how much you guys like to gather in your tiny kennels at night, put on some Franz Ferdinand albums, and snort lines out of your metal bowls, but this has got to stop.
We know how you say that it helps your racing performance, and you can stop anytime, so get off your tails, ok?!, but people are starting to talk. If you don't think seventy-year-old gamblers notice those rolled-up $100 bills tucked behind your ears and the razor blades and tiny spoons falling out of your little racing jerseys, you're sadly mistaken.
So, dogs, for our sakes, please stop. You know that people in the gambling industry would never, ever come in contact with drugs or try to fix races. You are making us look bad.
Sincerely,
Your Owners and Trainers
http://www.news-press.com/news/local_state/040520greyhound.html