1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2. Insanity is the only means of relaxation. 3. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5. I was put on Earth to accomplish a certain number of things; right now, I am so far behind, I will live forever. 6. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. 7. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full. 8. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. 9. Sometimes I think I understand everything... then I regain consciousness. 10. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.