Great News For Thou!

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by -GOD-, Jun 5, 2004.

  1. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    I have decided to give double points to all that pray before 5am on Sundays.

    Remember thy this:

    -10 points erases one masturbation

    -15 points erases one drunk car driving

    -20 points erases eating one apple
     
  2. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

    so how many points to not feel sad anymore
     
  3. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    You err in being sad.

    Nothing should make my lovely girlfriend sad.

    Did Joseph threaten to sue again?

    Did Jesus turn the orange juice in the fridge into urine again?

    Holy Mary-Ecstacy -

    Knoweth that all questions have an answer - all problems have a solution.

    The key to finding them is called TIME.

    Take time. You can also take a gun if it's the neighbor's dog who shitteth on your lawn again.
     
  4. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

    i need a break God, can thou provideth it for me?
     
  5. hmm... thought this orange juice tasted a bit funny...
     
  6. hiro

    hiro pursue it

    God what good deeds have you performed lately?
     
  7. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    Well, I mowed my grass. It's not such a great good deed but it looks better.

    I went bowling last night. The gang was happy.

    You are still alive.

    I've maintened the price of oil - no increases last night.

    Oh, and I let a bird escape a cat. That bird will make a nest on the white house. The president's daughter will see the nest and convince daddy not to blow up Earth.
     
  8. FunkyPhreshMama

    FunkyPhreshMama Visitor

    -GOD- can you please let me know why the hell you put all theses bird in front of my house that chirp all night long. its like they don't sleep.......
     
  9. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    They are not chirping.
     
  10. lanalou

    lanalou Member

    LMAO....what shit!!!
    :p
     
  11. seamonster66

    seamonster66 discount dracula

    God, I also have the bird chirping problem, perhaps thou haste caste a plague of varying chirps unto us?
     
  12. -Satan-

    -Satan- Member

    Remember, you get 50 points by my standards for every masturbation session.
     
  13. ReV

    ReV Member

    BIrds just wake up earlier than you ppls
     
  14. There is such a thing as night birds too people. They don't sleep when other birdies do. Hey God what were you thinking when you made them eh?
    Oh yeah why won't you answer me?
     

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