god doesn't want us to believe in god

God doesn't leave evidence of Her existence. The believers and the disbelievers make the same mistake: they think the Universe would look one way if there was a God (just, reasonable, moral, whatever) and another way if it didn't. They think they can then look at the Universe and make an assessment about the existence or non-existence of a God.

God is just a human word for something far beyond our comprehension, something boundless and without qualities. Any description of Him which bounds Him will be wrong. Thus atheists are correct to reject the literal, personal deity that many monotheists believe the Bible is talking about.

But if you are capable of admitting that there is anything in the Universe which you are not capable of apprehending, or which can exist without providing evidence of existence, you can at least imagine that God is a possibility.

For me, I love God with all my heart, or try to anyway. For me, the mere existence of this beautiful Universe with all its complexities is evidence of something beautiful and incomprehensible which I call God. But that is just a label that came out of my mind; what it actually is out there in the heavens is beyond my ability to guess.