Giving thanks, flipping latkes and all that family around the tree

Our Canadian brothers and sisters have ducked Thanksgiving for the year but Yule, Christmas and Hanukkah are on the way, emotionally loaded food holidays.
These are a challenge every year, but for new veg*ans, it can feel insurmountable.

There are a couple ways to "handel" these: (sorry)

First, you must decide your limits. Will you avoid a lot of pain if you suck it up over honey and remember the aguave next year? Is dairy OK? Egg? Are you stepping down and are you a bit flexible in the name of family peace?
Are you set in your ways and willing to work to provide some acceptible alternatives for your use and to share?
Are you frozen in terror at the thought that you might get a stray splash of gravy?
Are you capable of hosting the dinner yourself and willing to do so?


Scenario one:
live with family (of origin: parents, auntes, etc), don't cook, teens to young adult
options:
learn one main dish, make it and be aware of what is in the grocery store food like reheat rolls. (this is also great pot luck strategy)
pitch in and be part of the shopping and prepping
provide the vegan substitutions in a way that does not make extra work

My mom makes ambrosia that is fine for vegans until she adds home made whipped cream and marshmallows.

I worked an arrangement when I was 13 that I would prep all the veggies and fruits (her least fave part-she's into the alchemy side of cooking) in return for getting part of them before the non veg parts came in.
I had tropical ambrosia (I now make this with Hip Whip from Now and Zen and a lot more tropical fruits), green beans almondine (which roped me into doing it forever), baked sweet potatoes (only my late step dad would eat that with me -they liked the marshmallow goo) I even made a separate stuffing/ dressing.

Scenario 1.4: live at home/ can cook.
Whoo hoo! work with the person who coordinates the dinner and see where you can help over all and provide yourself with options out the wazz that everyone can have

Scenario two
Family goes to a restaurant for the meal (common after the divorce in my childhood home)
call ahead and explain that one member of your party has food issues and "what are the options?" You will need to have some easy ideas in place, but think oven roasted veggies without soup stock, sauteed green beans without bacon etc, wild rice pilaf without butter or chicken/ beef/ turkey stock and similar items that are easier to whip up.
If you are going ethnic, lobby for Indian, Thai (watch the fish sauce and ask for peanut sauce instead) African or other veg friendly cuisine.

Scenario three: family/ friends pot luck
make a few main dishes and a dessert.
I also provide a cranberry chutney (really chunky sauce)
canned cranberry is OK.
know the ingeridents, or have a really good idea. This is best discussed before everyone gets silverware. Especially knives.

Scenario four: on own, hosting meal with omni family (kids, spouse/partner)
Of mixed households, this is the most open scene.
Talk about the holiday and what it means as tradition to you. Does someone REALLY want chocolate pie because that's what is always done? Ask if you can buy one from a restaurant or make it in line with your new diet/lifestyle. Some kids will decide it "don't mean a thang if it don't have merengue" (sorry, again).
What foods really mean the holiday for them? For you? A precooked turkey breast might be enough for two-three omnis. My mom and I fill the table at her home so that there's no room for carcass as centerpiece, but it is on the counter for those who want it.
Maybe turkey won't matter but stuffing will (this is good). Or that weird green bean and mushroom soup with fried onion casserole. Or fresh bread.
Who in the omni side is willing to handle the meat/ eggs/ milk that you don't?
Personally, I'll make it (years in commercial kitches) but the dishes get to me, so I will make glazed salmon or a roasted hen, but I do NOT wash up. I'd say that of the dinners I have orchestrated more than half were all veg-lacto-ovo (my family has to have deviled eggs)
I personally haven't found a mock turkey I like, so I don't bother.

Scenario Five:
A fully veg feast.
Lucky you. and congrats. The turkeys thank you.
read Dav Pilkey's "'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving" that the then omni now vegan Pilkey STILL contends is not a book about vegetarianism.. right. and The Jungle was ONLY about class struggle and Unions. (which was it's intent)

 

T-day
http://www.adoptaturkey.org/
http://www.bryannaclarkgrogan.com/page/page/1435893.htm
http://www.tazarat.com/thanksgiving.html
http://www.vegparadise.com/cookingwith411.html

Hanukkah
http://www.vegparadise.com/cookingwith612.html
http://www.jewishveg.com/recipes.html
http://vegetarian.about.com/od/morerecipes/r/Latkes.htm

 

Wow, what great ideas! Drumminmama, you can come cook for me anytime!

What's really great is that things have improved so much over the last few decades for vegans. Not only has the seasonal variety of produce increased, but products without meat and dairy are easier to find and better labeled. Plus the variety of organic produce has increased while the premium price paid for organic food has decreased as more larger farms convert to organic methods.

You recommend ppl check the ingredients, as this should be a natural part of shopping for vegans and vegetarians.

I love the way you reviewed the most common holiday scenarios and how to deal with them. Good advice.

Now I'm craving latkes! Last time I had them was in Warsaw, they were just like my grannie used to make... The borscht was too watery, imo, as I like to make a nice thick version. BTW I once made a borscht for Thanksgiving at a 4 star restaurant I was working in, in Hawaii. Few ppl knew what it was, and it wasn't too popular, but it was the best I'd ever had...

 

Personally, ithink latkes are a staple food group...if I could have that much fried food!
Ever make them with sweet potatoes?

 

Ok, it's been a couple years, so let's get this convo going.

How have you effectively dealt with holidays as a veg*an in a mixed diet situation?