girls that want babys and ones that dont

Echo, if you don't want kids, then, by all means DON'T! But the "state of the world" has nothing to do with it.

Please give me a time in history when the "State of the world" DIDN'T suck. In my studies of history, I haven't seen a single time, or a single society where there wasn't the possibilty of horror, war, poverty, famine, abuse, ethnic cleansing ect. There has ALWAYS been these horrors, as long as there have been humans. This day and age is no WORSE than any other.

 

Eeeeek I'm sorry I didn't explain, please dont jump at me
I only meant the disconnectness to nature and spirit. And the crazy norm of parenting.
And the schools that teach unconsciousness. There is a demanding and powerfull energy coming from the out of control ego consciousness that affects us all.
I know these are all things my partner and I can work through together with our children, its only that we don't wish for them to feel outcast and turn around and not understand why we would tell them things other people think are crazy. We would want an equal relationship, but I have never seen this nor do I know how to accomplish it. This world teaches rather how to talk at children using all the clever psychological tools of the ego, without realising the damage. eg: Most kids talk so much shit because that's all they see in adults or adults talking about children like their not in the room.(generalisation of course). I remember how lonely it was being a child: people speaking to you like you dont understand anything, asking a question and getting told you're too young to know the answer.
We hate what television teaches and I wish I could unsee all the years of nonsense I took in. I know these are all things we could talk about and avoid with our children, and we both know mistakes in parenting are unavoidable, we both just value children so much we dont want to don't want to mess them up basically.
It's not that we want to shelter them either, because we know our most painful lessons are where our most valued learning has come from.
I wasn't trying to make an excuse for not having children, because untill about a year ago, I was happy in my choice not to ,so I'm sorry I made it seem so. And I am completely aware that there has always been war and crazy politics and that is not what I was refering to.
I guess my beliefs about what constitutes a bad world are different from most, but please dont ridicule those beliefs, like I am unaware of the state of the world in the last how many thousand years. (We are both history majors, and we have both worked with children) I only was referring to humanitys' separation from ourselves.
Yes I have a silly fear about childbirth, and all fears are born of the mind, so on a greater level I know there is nothing to fear and that there is so much beauty in the creation, its just my little self hasn't quite come to that realisation yet, but I am working on it.
I guess I am just pessimistic in my belief that we wont return to Spirit and the great mystery, but my partner is the opposite and has enough faith for the both of us, so we are waiting a few years to see.
I know my opinions are debatable as there are different truths for everone, but I hope that ultra-short summary is a little bit clearer. (we'll be here for years otherwise, I do crap on a lot)
peace

 

I'm sorry you thought I was jumping at you. I wasn't, I'm just a little intense (I'm a Mod here, and was on a sabbotical for a while, so you might not know my style, if you are new) I didn't mean to upset you.

All I was saying is, the world is NO worse than it ever was. Public education may not always be wonderful, but up until the recent times, most people got NO education. You started planting potatoes at the age of 2 and that was all the stimulation you got for the rest of your life, (until they invented liquor) the world isn't that bad of a place. Most people, through most of history, did not have strong spiritual beleifs, they just tried to survive. That is how most people live, now. I don't, personally, beleive in some ancient race of hazily remembered people who were so enlightened that we look like fools in our daily life. MOST people in history just survived. Discovery only comes when one's basic needs are fulfilled. And, as most people don't and have never gotten enough to eat, and had to worry about war almost all the time (and I don't mean like we in the US worry about war, I mean worry about BEING in the middle of one, physically) they didn't have time or energy for psychic enlightenment. Not to say that there were NO people like this (Buddists have been around for a very long time.) But that most people, through most of history simply couldn't make the time for spiritual learning, they were too busy trying not to starve, staving off rapists and pillagers and trying to survive yet an other war.

I have four kids, and MOST of a child's education, spiritual or otherwise, should happen at home. Not neccesariy always home schooling (although that is a good option) but the things you are talking about should be taught by a parent, not by a school system. As for TV. It's quite easy to simply not have one, or to only use one occasionally.

A child with a strong inner resource can do well in life. And, even with the sorry state of our recent goverment, most people can still make live good for thier children, if they are THERE for them.

But, I don't believe that anyone should have children, unless they really feel it is the best thing they could do. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. And there is nothing wrong with that.

 

I would love giving birth to a child II helped make. There's too much ahead of me (med school) to plan a pregnancy though. I am mentally and physically ready to have a child. I am not, however, financially (spelling?) capable of having a baby without the governments help (mainly because I begin Medical school in 7 months and debt will start until a couple of years after graduation, I'm sure..and I want good money so the child doesn't have to do without anything needed) I've got a step-daughter whom I've helped raise since she turned two.....I consider her my own and I love her with every ounce of my being...but I would also like children of my flesh and blood too.
So, I guess one is enough right now!

 

That's ok Maggie, I'm just an overly sensitive being (try being my partner... ouch).
I guess you just summed it up for me: I dont want to be one of those people who shouldn't have kids, but does so because I want to.
But as I said, I got a few years to sort out my shit and lighten my negative outlook on humanity and then who knows? Hopefully I could do as well as parents like you. Four kids... Kudos to you Lady Sugar, my mum and many others say three is damn near impossible. I think two would be my limit, but that's what many say!

 

One week I want child. Later in life of course. I am only 21. Then next week I never want one, so confused.

 

I want to have children, but first(if I can help it, & it happens right) I want to enjoy married life & travel a little. If not that is cool too. I will be responsible for my actions

 

Patchwork, it isn't time for you yet. Kids need you all the time, when you are ready to be a parent (if) you will want them all the time. There is plenty of time to grow, and learn to know yourself, and find out if you really can give everything for a child.

It isn't for everybody, and that's OK.

 

Thanks for advice Maggie Sugar! U cool w/ me! If I did it would be in my later 30's. I fgot all the time in the world.

 

I'm not ready for a baby right now! I'm soooo busy!

 

I was one of those "I don't want babies, ever" girls... until I reached 30, was married to a wonderful man (after a disastrous, abusive, first marriage) and was told by my doctor that I have endometriosis and might not ever be able to have children of my own. I never would have had my children if my husband hadn't convinced me that not everyone has as miserable a childhood as I did. I honestly never believed a happy childhood was really possible until he convinced me that it is.

 

till about a year ago i never wanted kids,
but then i moved into a commune
and a woman that lived there too, who became a great friend,
had a baby, and i just loved helping her with the baby (a beautiful baby girl)
it completely turned around, i'd love to have kids,
and i miss that time when helped taking care of the baby
and the other kids that lived there too.

 

You're in a commune, now?

Whereabouts?

 

not now, last summer
i lived in a few communes.
i think i'll be in holland for another 1 to 5 weeks
then i go to the usa and canada

 

Well, Monosphere and HippyFreek and I are around Seattle....

 

If I'll be there, I'll let ya know

 

Most definitely let us know! I'd LOVE to meet you! If you get this way at all (like in Vancouver or Victoria B.C.) PM me or mono, or Iron.

 

yeah absolutely

would LOVE!!!!!!! to meet you too

 

I think after seeing my roommate's sister in-law so excited after her pregnancy, I want one child.

I want to finish school and all that first though...

 

My girlfriend and I have discussed it at great length. See initiallly i wanted children and she didnt, but then i started my midwifery training and it sorta went downhill from there!

Dont get me wrong, i love babies, and children are ok, but i get to hold and cuddle and feed babies all day at work, and that might just be enough for me. Then again im 19 now, and in ten years time when we might be wanting children ill probably be ready for them. Im just a bit too selfish at the moment! I can imagine us being earth mummies together though, and our children would be so beautiful