Girls, is your current Husband/boyfriend your best ever lover. And.......

she accuses you and I of being trolls but she has never said one positive thing in this thread. She calls names, hurls insults but never contributes anything meaningful to the conversation. Know, full well that she is laughing at all this and she thinks she is smarter and more clever than us.

funny that no one, not mindriot, jacob or anyone else had seriously refuted any of my claims or answered any of my questions. The truth is if just one female came forth and said;

"I am with so and so because he is a nice guy, pays my bills, watches my kid but sex with him is kinda lame, he has a tiny dick and he can't last more than a few minutes. Fortunately, I have this guy on the side who has a huge cock and who really knows how to fuck me and when he's done, I go home all sore to my sweet little man in the car that he pays for, to the house that he pays for and kiss my kid goodnight and ask my little man how the kid behaved for him and for one brief second felt guilty thinking that here this guy who isn't even my kid's father is reading him bedtime stories while I am getting my ass reamed out by a monster cock and while they are watching 'Finding Nemo' I am getting my face plastered with jizz, but then I snap out of it and think, oh, well he has a tiny dick, he should watch my kid so I can get mine"

then I would smell honesty instead of excuses, lies and self deception.

 

That all sounds very unhealthy to me! You should never stay with someone you do not love!

Staying together for the children can only work under certain circumstances. The idea that I would of stayed with my sons bio father, for the sake of my Son feels me with dread. What a nightmare I, and my Son would still be in. It was a bad relationship prolonged for longer than it should have been because I had a child with him, thankfully it did not take long for me to see sense.

In truth, I think a lot of people stay in relationships because of laziness, and they use the kids as an excuse! It can only work if you respect each other, and if you have BOTH fallen out of love.

It sounds like you no longer love your husband, and the fact that he gets angry about your affair, suggests that he still loves you. You need to finish your relationship, not only for your sake, but your husbands also.

 

For the vast majority of this thread, I spent my time attempting to have an honest debate.

Fucking pages.

It became futile and I tend to, you know, stop caring as much about the topic when the people I'm involved in a discussion with tip toe around things that contradict their points, present arguments that no one was making, throw insults and demean the people that are the subject of the discussion or are just so flat out stubborn that they can't be reasoned with.

If I've insulted you or mocked you, believe me - you deserved it. I've participated in and have watched enough discussions on the internet over time to see how you're like a lot of other alpha dogs who don't care about the substance of the debate, so much as they care that they feel that they're the one that is winning. Whatever the fuck that means.

I'm also conscious of how I am in these situations. At first I was enjoying my discussion with FX, though it was a little frustrating, you get folded into the whole deal. I bring up the same things that haven't been addressed or have been ignored and I get the same old dense, lack of understanding from you and rigid 50s standards of love and sex from him. Not one concession, not one compromise, not one thing of note has been accomplished in this thread. I'd say that FX apologizing for the "diseased people" comment in the other thread would count, but it's obvious that was just bullshit. He still feels that way, he just won't use those words anymore.

All I wanted in this thread was some understanding that a couple who is involved in one of those relationships can be just as happy as someone who is monogamous. Didn't get that, because FX is FX and he's got his rigid, obsolete standards of love, sex and so on. And you, you're an alpha male who has a ton of face to lose if you were to say: "I recognize I was harsh to Jacob about his nature and his relationship with his girl, I apologize to both of them. I still don't understand why a guy would just want to share his girl without getting anything in return, but if they're happy with that arrangment, then cool."

Nope. Nothing. You resorted to calling her a selfish, gold digging whore and won't come back from it.

Lastly. You want to complain about being called a troll? That's rich. How about we bring up your constant trolling of GBBlondie? She brings out some quality posts in that other thread, then you come in, reply and she snarks a little on your logic and you go off at her on full blast? How long were you harboring that resentment, chief?

And yet, you get offended when people call you a troll.

 

She's the only one in this thread that engaged Jacob in a respectful manner. She asked questions, he answered. Should have been enough, but the uptight brigade comes in, nitpicks him, demeans him and attempts to reduce him to nothing with negative comments about him, his girl and of people in that lifestyle in general.

That high horse is no place for you.

 

apparently you have never felt the intense pain, longing and desire for another person where you don't want anyone else, when you want to spend every minute with them, when you tingle with excitement whenever you see them, when you cannot bear the thought of them being with anyone else, when you are sad when they are gone, when you crave their touch, when you want to fuck every time you are alone. If you ever experienced that all consuming passion, when you are crazy in love then nothing else will ever do and the ideas of sacrificing the intensity of this for quantity and variety of sex partners seems like about the stupidest thing imaginable, like trading a diamond ring for a suitcase full of costume jewelry.

if you had ever experienced what I described then you were in love. if you were ever in love you wouldn't care about lust without attachment or 'arrangements'.

 

That doesn't read like love or passion.

That reads like creepy, overbearingly possessive jealousy that masks itself as all-consuming love.

 

I'll give you credit in that you've done a better job than Biteen. But you've still got some ways to go before I can respect you enough to engage in an actual debate with you.

Sounds like you’re trying to argue a point that has little/nothing to do with the crux of the matter at hand (from our perspective). And in doing so you’ve seemingly managed to miss the point we were arguing completely.

What's it to you? We were both "harsh" (your word not mine) to one another. You don't see me whining about it. I don't see him whining about it either. In fact, the only one whining about it is YOU. One shouldn't dish out what they can't take in return. C'est la vie. Get over it.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, then it must be…

Different thread; different matter. If you have something to say about it, post about it in the thread in question… if you dare .

 

See, the thing is: I am not going to take advice from someone who has shown, himself, no real idea of how to hold a discussion on this. It didn't take but one or two posts for you to start with the "weak", "loser mentality", etc bullshit earlier in the thread. FX had that "diseased people" comment and I still kept my cool and kept drilling him about that comment for a few more posts without resorting to any sort of scathing comments.

Honestly, this whole thing has moved and swayed and went around in circles. So.. what would that be? Clarify it for me, if you will. I already know what FX's point is, he made that real clear a few posts ago and it's useless to even attempt to sway him, even in the slightest bit.

Yours seems to be that people who allow their women to go fuck other men are, well, weak or have some sort of defeatist mentality. You said something about being alright with men sharing their wives and I think that was with the caveat of being able to go out and stray themselves. You can correct me if I'm wrong. Putting aside Jacob's specific situation to the side for a moment. What's your problem with a couple where they get off on the woman being shared with another man?

 

You’re welcome to go back and read pages 15, 19, 21, 33, & 35-36. Read ALL the posts coming from the other side, not just mine, and you should have a very clear understanding of the key question that has driven our argument.

 

like I thought, you've never experienced being in love.

Romantic Love is madness. It makes us crazy but alot of us wouldn't have it any other way and if it weren't madness then it wouldn't be the inspiration for so much of the songs and poems and novels and paintings and movies in our culture.

if we just 'liked' or appreciated people then this would be a selfish, boring world. Imagine pulling your cock out of a woman's ass and she says: "come and cuddle with me" and your answer is: "nah, I'm going fishing"

promiscuous people think the joy in sex is the excitement of not knowing if and with whom you are going to sleep with and the curiosity of seeing someone naked for the first time or wondering if the sex is going to be great, good or not but that is the joy of going on a rollercoaster with all the crazy turns and plunges. Real love is like arriving at that perfect spot on the shore and feeling that sense of calm and sitting down on the beach and feeling that there is no where else you would rather be and you slip into a trance watching the waves roll in and hearing the magical sounds of the surf.

Love is a seaside paradise. sex without love is at best an amusement park and often is a house of horrors.

 

I gave you an opportunity to sum it up and tie it in a little bow, but instead you send me to go sift through bullshit I've already read. Stuff going in circles and so on.

 

You shouldn't make that assumption. The jealousy involved in the type of love you're espousing makes one a worse person and quite frankly, I don't like to view someone I'm with as if they're my possession.

Example: That whole "If my wife socializes with another man, she will cease to be my wife" thing. That's not me. And that, honestly, is a load of bullshit.

 

like I thought, you've never experienced being in love.

 

Otherwise, our views would be an exact match for your own.

Epic fail.

 

^ This.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs"]The Police - Every Breath You Take - YouTube

 

I already told you I have no interest in engaging the matter any further with you. Thus, I will not be summing up or restating anything related to our argument. Perhaps someone else would like to take up the discussion with you.

You asked a question, I told you where to look to find the answer (and even gave you a hint with regards to the key question at the root of the argument).

 

You say all this stuff about what you believe love to be.

I tell you that it's creepy, overbearingly possessive jealousy that masks itself as love.

And then you embed a song that proves my point.

Sting, the guy who wrote the damn thing, has stated it's been misinterpreted as a love song.

"I think it's a nasty little song, really rather evil. It's about jealousy and surveillance and ownership." - Sting in New Music Express interview in '83

 

because in 1983 you were what? In utero??

you annoint yourself some kind of mediator of moderation when you know nothing.

Did it ever occur to you that some women may want a man who is jealous and possessive? I bet alot of the women on this forum who complain about their men who pay them no attention would kill for a little of that. When this song was on the charts I was fucking my girlfriend at the time at least 20 times a week.

 

Because the guy who wrote the song said it was sinister and that's aside from the fact that he wrote that from a dark place while he was going through a divorce.

I doubt the attention they'd want is of a jealous, possessive nature. Those two characteristics are NOT healthy. They are negative traits that do not lead to anything good. The fact that you think they're wonderful is more telling about you and the things you've espoused in this thread than anything else.