Girls, is your current Husband/boyfriend your best ever lover. And.......

I’m not interested in the explanations of theoretical spokespeople. When someone with actual personal experience in the lifestyle decides to step up and speak on it, then I’ll hear what they have to say.

 

Because you did that so well with Jacob.

Excuses, excuses.

 

A general thought for people in the thread: If we use xxaru's logic, then the opinions of xxaru, FX, and so on should be negated from this discussion as well. They don't have experience in the lifestyle, so why should they be able to judge it and the people involved?

 

I gave Jaco the opportunity to explain his mindset; he chose not to. He can go back and respond to my questions at any time.

 

I'm pretty sure he did. You just chose to be dense and ignore it, because it didn't fit your agenda.

 

Unlike yourself, I'm "very" sure . Perhaps you want to go back and read through the thread again

 

His whole mentality laid out right there in his very first post.

Being like you are, you decided to needle in on small portions of his post and lambaste him for that. All you focused in on were: "and I can't keep up with her" & "I cannot last, and I'm not well endowed". Then you presumed that he wasn't trying (which he stated in a later reply that he was).

Actually, reading through, he replied to that assertion point blank with:

And now I'm getting sucked back into a discussion with you. Why? I don't know. Maybe you're so dense that you're beginning to form a black hole where you sit and it's beginning to come through, soon all of time, space and reality in this solar system will be gone. It's been swell, world!

 

I have stopped trying to understand anything about being a cuckold.

the only thing I am interested in is why a woman would chose to have sex with a man that can't satisfy her completely?

Last night while responding to this thread I looked over to my wife and asked her: "Do I completely satisfy you sexually"?

She responded: "more than completely!

Is that because I am some stud? hardly. is it because I have a 10" cock? not even close. I satisfy her but that doesn't mean I could satisfy any woman. My wife is not horny all the time and does not need sex every day. My sex drive is higher than hers so it is always there for her whenever she wants it. In 17 years I only turned my wife down for sex once, when I was incredibly angry with her (that was at least 10 years ago), otherwise she gets sex 100% of the time that she wants it. The point is that jacob could probably completely satisfy many women but he chooses to be with one he doesn't. more importantly his gf does too. like I asked in my last post, what if he put his foot down and said: "you have to choose between 'the bull' and I, what would she do? Is she still in her relationship with jacob because she can fuck Mr. 10" whenever she wants to? I remember fucking a woman once and her vagina seemed really loose. my penis didn't even come close to filling her up and her responses to my thrusting indicated that I was not big enough to satisfy her. She did not let me fuck her again so my guess is that a 10" very thick cock would have been just right for her cavernous pussy. My 2nd girlfriend's vagina was so small that I could not get my entire shaft inside her. She came the second I penetrated her but not being able to bury my entire cock inside her was a little disappointing. she really loved my cock, liked to talk to other women about it. she even had me show it to one of her friends once. she told me I was the biggest she had had and as she was Jewish and I am uncircumcised I think that was kind of a taboo thing that she loved. she was tiny, like 100 lbs and I could sling her around with one arm. Sex was the glue in our relationship but we couldn't get along, we were just too different and she dumped me over and over. she came back over and over and always wanted sex immediately as soon as she saw me. With my wife, my cock fits perfectly inside her, it is incredibly tight but it all fits in. she says it is too big sometimes but most of the time she is incredibly aroused by my thrusting, yet she does not talk about my cock to her friends, is not really impressed by it visually (as an RN she has seen hundreds, many much bigger than mine) but she says it is the perfect cock for her. So you see, 3 women; one I wasn't big enough, one I was too big and one I was just right.

so back to the question: why would a woman chose to have sex with a man that can't satisfy her completely?

if the answer is, because she has more than one sex partner then the next question is, what is the basis for her relationship with the man who doesn't satisfy her? Because if she were to completely stop having sex with jacob she would still be sexually satisfied, so the sex in their relationship is almost a non factor, it is a throw-in, an appendix.

you might say 'Love' is the basis for their relationship. Well, I love my kids, my mother, brother and sister but I don't live with them, so love is not a reason to live with someone. you could say 'friendship'. I have lots of friends, haven't lived with any of them since before I got married.

let's just say that in their minds they 'love each other'. well, the basis for erotic or romantic love is sexual attraction. It is the glue that binds two people together. if you are not sexually attracted to someone you are not 'in love' and how can you be 'in love' if you are more sexually attracted to someone else?

to me, my wife is the most sexually desirable woman in the world, but to many other men she would not be because she is significantly overweight. maybe some other men might be turned off because she is short or wears glasses or because she has really large breasts. But when I look at her I burn with desire, I am crazy about her, I only want her. after 17 years a slight touch or look or snuggling up next to her and I get an erection. Sex with her is satisfying not because it Kama Sutra. she won't let me fuck her in the ass, she won't lick my ass, we can't do it standing up (I am a foot taller than her), doggystyle is difficult for the same reason but when we are connected together together in coitus I get a feeling so incredibly intense that I am on the point of crying. I want to melt into her until we are one being.

so, I refuse to believe for one second that jacob and his girlfriend are 'in love'. You cannot be 'in love' with someone and be more sexually attracted to someone else at the same time.

so, again, what are the real reasons she is with jacob??

 

But I gave an example yesterday of a woman who just wasn't all that much into sex. It seemed to sail right over your head. Some women simply have other priorities. I've heard several guys say that about their wives. I don't understand it, but there has to be some truth to it. Maybe these are mostly women who are not able to have orgasms. Or they were taught from childhood that sex is bad and dirty.

 

ok, but jacob's gf has an enormous sex drive.

 

You know....I wasn't exactly sure what "satisfaction" looked like until recently. Even remembering my favorite lover from when I was 21, it's nothing like what I experience now. It's a testament to how people change through the decades!

People change! When I met/committed/married my now-husband, it was a decision of that time. Now, many years later, it is a decision of this time that we stay together and effectively parent our youngest child. It is a decision of this time that I live fully despite I have serious responsibilities to other people.

There were many years of my marriage that my resent and discontent was so severe that the thought of him touching me nearly sent me into a panic attack. These days, his own anger toward me and my affair, refrains him from wanting anything physical from me. It works for me!

The days are numbered for this marriage.

 

Likely a father figure, or so that she is not alone, or he brings her emotional security. We women often parcel out our men into categories, because they simply can't be everything for us. Despite that reality, we search and search for that man that is as close as we can find. Sometimes it's the least of evils. In her case Jacob has mostly everything, except to equal her sex drive.

 

well, she's lucky he's so broad minded and tolerant. I wonder how long their relationship would last if he wasn't?

my sex drive is alot higher than my wife's and in years past was the source of alot of my unhappiness but I never thought of finding another partner, instead I jerked off to porn. now that I am older my sex drive has decreased a little (from wanting it every day, sometimes several times a day, to 3-5 times a week) and now that our kids are older and a little more self sufficient, my wife's sex drive has increased a little so we are close to a happy medium. she still doesn't want it quite as often as I do but she is willing most of the time and doesn't say no very often anymore.

all I know is that I am very attached to my wife and would not share her with anyone. She has no interest in anyone else and if she did when would she have time? Work and family take up 90% of our weekdays and on weekends we like to cocoon at home. I am deeply, passionately in love with her and ferociously jealous.

to each his own.

 

I think my husband is indirectly allowing me to have an "open" marriage. He is deliberately turning the other way. This is an additional huge sign of his passive role he's taken throughout our years together. On the other hand, I'm very grateful to him for staying (for my son), and that he deals with my affair the best way he can.

 

I'm sorry you have to endure this. maybe true love is coming with your next man!

my marriage hasn't always been easy. After our daughter was born I seriously thought about leaving as my wife gave literally nothing to our marriage but I too remained because of the kids. I am so glad I did as now I wouldn't want to live without her.

I am still a net giver in our relationship. My wife gets a little complacent and lazy and takes me for granted but we communicate well and discuss everything. She is a good mother and she puts up with me whereas most women probably wouldn't. she is the best friend I have ever had and she is a tremendously honest person and is upbeat and positive about life which helps to buoy my natural pessimism and she has saved me, as if I had not met her I would have become Travis Bickle. my love for her grows day by day and I am an inferno of desire for her. I would rather die than be without her and if she were ever to fuck another man I would kill him before killing myself (not her, he would have to pay the price for violating my sanctuary, she would have to live with the guilt). that is why I can't understand how any man could knowingly let his wife fuck another man.

 

I don't know either. You're the only one still trying to discuss/debate here. I'm simply pointing out various facts that I find rather ironic.

 

Interesting that after all this time, other people still believe Jaco's girl is staying with him for her own personal gain. imp:

 

It's amazing. Not only is FX the judge of what lifestyles are acceptable, he's the judge for what counts as love.

All this talk of romance, passion, etc. It feels like the talk of Disney or Old Hollywood movies. Both of those things are fleeting, they come and go. You need something else solid to hold a relationship together through thick and thin.

The thing is, the type of relationship jacob and his girl have can also enhance what passion there is between a couple.

Example: One of the boards I went to had this big thread. Both the husband and the wife are in a relationship where the wife is the only one playing. And the thread contained the accounts, written by both of them, of the progress of their lifestyle. It was rather interesting. The husband either gets to watch or sits at home while she goes out. He waits with anticipation for her to come back to reclaim her and she gets off on how excited this stuff all makes her husband. She comes home and they apparently have quite good to amazing lovemaking (based off their words).

It's not entirely impossible for the same to be said for Jacob and his girlfriend. We're not there everyday and don't really know his girlfriend's thoughts about it or the lovemaking they have after she's gotten home from a tryst or after the other guy leaves.

 

Very sweet. Often it's very hard to recover a relationship after it's faded so severely.

The ups and downs in my marriage are primarily on my side. He has had it pretty steady (until my affair was revealed) given that his desire to work at our relationship is not a priority, and he concluded that the problem was me, and he distracted himself with his own interests.

Of course I recognize that some of it was self-preservation because I raged and pleaded and threatened. It was extremely painful that my desperation and unhappiness was met with so much indifference. This spiral began early on as I ignored many habits he had because I admired a few things.

I don't know if he buries his head in the sand now because the reality would hurt too much. Yet, it really does disturb me very much that I have this degree of deception. While having it all out in the open seems the more honest way to go.....is being naive about each other's actions and activities actually the only way to cope.

 

Do you mean that she is doing so as a favor to him?