I’m a 39 year old male who has been in a relationship with a 51 year old woman for the last 3 years. I have recently discovered that she has been seeing other men for the last 2 years. This has also been confirmed by her daughter who caught her with 2 other man outside the toilets of a nightclub. Her daughter and I have become very close over this and spending lots of time together. We haven’t done anything together we shouldn’t have but it’s not to to say we don’t mutually feel the same. Should I approach my girlfriend about the other men? Should I just end it? I really want to be with her daughter but there is a 14year age gap between us
As a man I would take 14 years younger, as to one 12 years older. Enjoy it while you can. May come a time you can,t keep up with the young one. But don't sound like it's going too good for you, the way it is.
So, I sat down with my girlfriend and we have spoke about the whole ordeal. She wants to be a couple but also wants to be able to sleep with other men and me with other women. This could be interesting or it could be a total car crash. I am going to see how things go and where this takes us but it does give me the opportunity to see what happens between her daughter and I. I will update soon with how things are going
A word of advice. I suggest a couple of books to pick up to learn what emotions may be at hand when reality sets in. One is titled "More Than Two" and the other is "The Ethical Slut". I expect reality to happen with GF once she learns you are enjoying the company of women not herself. All hell may break loose. People react differently when the tide is turned. GF is having a good time with other men but may not be able to accept you having a good time in the same way. I hope I'm wrong in my assumption but get those books and the both of you read them together. If opening up your relationship works out you're going to have a great experience.
I second Straightmale's warning about the cheater's double standards. In my experience, their hypocracy can be breath taking. I stuck by a woman who cheated at least two or three times. Eventually, she encouaged me to do the same with a colleague. presumably to ease her own guilt. When I did, she couldn't take it. This caused the end of our relationship. Aftewards, she bad mouthed me as if she was a saint to anyone who would listen. I think she rationalised this double standard in her own mind as it just being sex when she did it, but I fell in love.
If I were you, I'd end things. It seems like she's already moved on with her life by cheating on you. Don't waste any more time on her. I wasted so many years with my ex, even when he swore up and down he wasn't cheating on me. Let's say, lesson learned.
First, The age gap means nothing. After all, you are 12 years younger than her. I would tactfully approach her about the other men. Stay cool, No need for violence. If she admits it, that’s where you start from. Maybe, she wants more of a open relationship at this point in her life. Remember.., It’s her sex life, not yours. You do however, own part of your relationship with her. Maybe she’s open for you to see other women. Hence, You could then feel free enough to approach her daughter.
From the sounds of it, and the fact that you stayed with her, you seem to have an attachment to each other that you don’t want to lose. If that’s the case, and she’s both said and demonstrated that she will fuck other people when the desire/opportunity arises, I suggest you do the same.
Except I would refrain from sex with her daughter. There can be quite a competition between a mother and daughter when it comes to love affairs among other things. Things could turn bad if mother dislikes her daughter, younger and possible thought of being more attractive, being chosen over her. Then how do you amicably compare the two when asked by the mother? To me it's a situation to be avoided.
True. But it’s not as though he can settle down a start a family with the older one. Do them both and, if the time is right, knock up the daughter.
Bocci, Respectfully. That’s where I disagree. No way knock up the daughter. That will really mess up his life to be free. Just saying.
See your point but I was operating under the assumption that he wasn’t free or didn’t want to be since he was with a woman who went behind his back and he stayed with her. And I did say “if the time is right, knock up the daughter.” If he’s looking to stay free then then the time won’t be right. In the meantime, he can enjoy the two women.
Bocci, Agree. If he plays his cards right, At 39, He’s got plenty of time to bed many women if he chooses too. If he chooses to stay with mother and keep it all in the family with the daughter all good too. If the daughter moves on, then he can still have a open relationship with the mother.
Haha. Now that’s a good one. I thought I was pushing it with the idea of having mama watch him doing the daughter and vice versa. But you take it to another level. Good on ya.
