Girlfriend doesn't know/understand how to initiate sex - desire not an issue

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Euniqe, Aug 9, 2013.

  1. Euniqe

    Euniqe Guest

    Hey everyone, newbie to the forum here.

    I've been with my current girlfriend for almost two years (literally tomorrow lol) and we've been through our share of sexual issues, most of which have either been resolved or are in the process of being resolved.

    However, the thing about her is that she is very passive sexually. She's an extremely outgoing and confident person, but when it comes to sex I have to take the lead and do literally everything. Which is fine, her performance is not our issue. FYI, she is hardly inexperienced, whereas I lost my virginity to her.

    The issue that we share, is that she simply does not understand how to initiate. She's told me that she's attempted so many times, yet her methods appear to me to just seems like our general intimacy - fiddling with my knob over my pants a little bit, stroking my arms, chest etc. general intimate stuff, nothing real suggestive.

    Should there be a set of guidelines/rules that we should set for each other that we should attempt to follow? Is there anything I could teach her? I just hate it because we love each other so damn much, but I've never felt "wanted" by her sexually - not because she doesn't desire me or attempt to show such, but purely because she simply does not understand how to show me. I need your help, people - I don't know where to start and apparently I'm the only bloke on the internet with this issue -_-
  2. newbie-one

    newbie-one one with the newbiverse

    just be a man and get used to playing the active role

    if you don't want sex, her not initiating shouldn't bother you.

    if you do want sex, go get her
  3. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

    I would ask her straight out for what you want:

    "Ask me to put my cock in your mouth", "Sit on the table spread your pussy lips and curl your finger at me (oh, and stick your fucking tongue out. RIGHT NOW! lol)", etc.

    I hope you get the idea. :scholar:
  4. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    Send her a txt sometime telling her what you want her to do next when she is wanting to have sex with you. If she don't get your hint then you may have to try something else ?
  5. Euniqe

    Euniqe Guest

    cheers for the replies guys

    not a new thing, just realising over the past few months or so how much of an issue it really is.

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