Getting over the embarrassment

Discussion in 'Bare It!' started by leeza, Jan 5, 2005.

  1. leeza

    leeza Member

    I am (hopefully) a future barefooter. Right now, I just can't seem to get over the embarrassment of being seen barefoot in public, especially by someone I know. I know I'm probably making more out of this than I should, but did anybody else here have the same problem I'm having, and how did you get over it?
  2. ArtLoveMusic

    ArtLoveMusic Senior Member

    just learn to be proud of it.
  3. bfrank

    bfrank Member

    Fleassy is right. Not only be proud of it, remember going barefoot is natural and healthy. You are doing nothing wrong, so there is no reason at all to be embarrassed. You may get some second looks or even some stares sometimes - just ignore it if it happens. Hold your head up and walk barefoot proudly. Never act like you're ashamed or embarrassed, even if you are a little at first, but don't let it show. Your attitude and demeanor when barefooted will greatly affect others' attitudes toward you.
    And in case you don't already know about it, the ultimate source for information and support for going barefoot in public is the SBL at <>. Check it out.
  4. mladen_22

    mladen_22 Member

    Absolutely! Be proud and happy!
  5. Barefoot-boy

    Barefoot-boy Member

    I dealt with the same feelings Leeza. For many years I was a closet barefooter, really enjoyed the feeling of being barefoot, but behind closed doors. Back in grade school, I once forgot to wear my tennis shoes for Phys Ed class and was supposed to take gym in my barefeet. Anyway, I somehow got away with keeping my street shoes on. I would have been mortified to take my shoes and socks off in front of the girls!!

    My best advice is try wearing flip flops in public. You will be exposing your feet while keeping some footwear on your feet. Once you can get past exposing your feet, try slipping them for brief periods, before long you will gain some confidence and just decide to go barefoot. May I suggest trying an establishment such as a convenience store? You can go in barefoot, make a quick purchase and then make your way to the exit. Try doing that again and again. Baby steps are the key.
  6. whatnoshooz

    whatnoshooz Member

    I can relate to this feeling as well. For years I couldn't bring myself to go barefoot in public, unless it was after dark on a deserted street or something.
    Even now, it's not the easiest thing in the world for me to do, but it gets easier all the time.
    One thing I noticed is that you acclimatize very quickly, and after being barefoot for, say, 15-20 minutes, your comfort level goes up a lot.
    As others have said above, just start out with a quick trip into the store and work up from there. If you're shy, it's much easier than going whole-hog right away.
    Let us know what happens.

  7. Fangz

    Fangz Member

    Basically, it took me 16 years before I would ever be barefoot. When I was a kid, I wouldn't even go to bed barefoot. I slept with sox on every night. The only time I wasn't wearing shoes and sox was while showering, and bathing.

    Basically, I thought feet were weird, and My feet look just like my moms, therefore they look feminine in a sort. So when I was little, and a teenager, I was embarassed by my feet. Well, when I turned 16, I tried sleeping barefoot, and it took quite a while to get used to. Then slowly, I started being barefoot arount the house, and as the time went by, I was barefoot at home all the time. I boutght my first pair of flip flops 2 years ago. I go just about everywhere with them. The only time I ever really wear shoes and sox now, are when I work. I work in a Factory, so Steel Toed boots are required.
    First thing I do when I get home is get barefoot. Today it was 30 degrees cellsius (sp) but that doesn't stop me. Went to dinner in the flops tonight too.

    I guess while in my late teens, I realised I actually had a fetish for feet, and I didn't think it was normal, that's probably another reason why I was afraid to show my feet. I felt ashamed. I am not exactly sure how I overcame my fear, other than just taking it slowly, and ignoring what the public says, or thinks.
  8. peacefuljeffrey

    peacefuljeffrey Senior Member

    Well, I have always been aware of having a foot fetish, so maybe that's why when I was a little kid I was embarrassed to be barefoot sometimes too. I think I was projecting what I thought about feet (they turned me on) onto others, and assuming that they too thought of feet in a sort of prurient way.

    I remember that when I was in nursery school, we were going to do finger-painting AND foot-painting. The idea was we were going to use our toes the way we would use our fingers for finger-painting. I was horrified! I don't remember how it turned out -- I don't recall that the class went ahead with the assignment anyway, but I'm sure I didn't end up taking off my shoes and socks. I used to, however, fiddle with my feet by sticking my fingers down into my shoes to rub my soles. I was very aware of other people's feet. I also thought that my feet did not look good. I was self-conscious of their appearance.

    But by the time it even crossed my mind to go barefoot out and about, I was long past feeling that self-consciousness, and I also realized that feet don't mean the same thing to everyone else that they mean to me. When I first started going out in public barefoot, there was a sort of erotic thrill to doing it. Now that has subsided, and I'm simply far more comfortable being barefoot. I really detest the feeling of having shoes on, now; they're horrible! :p

    My advice to anyone wishing to start going barefoot is to simply do it and remind yourself that you are the only one in charge of how you live your life. If you want to be barefoot, and you enjoy it, it is yours to take! Other people's judgments of you are meaningless. Plus, the idea that you're being judged so harshly is more likely mostly in your head in the first place.

    Be proud and confident when you're barefoot. Manufacture those feelings until they come naturally.

  9. Alixney

    Alixney Member

    Leeza-I had the same problem when I first started. I was really embarassed and especially didn't want to be seen by my friends and especially family. But everyone here is right in that the only way you get around it is by doing your own pace,though, so you may adjust to it. But keep doing it! It really is much more relaxing, more fun and better for you than running around in pesky shoes all the time. I never used to go barefoot, now I'd rather be without shoes all the time. It's become one of my trademarks! My friends are now surprised if I show up with shoes on. From the spring to the fall, its pretty much a given that I don't wear shoes.

    I used to be embarassed, now I laugh at the people who stare at my anklets and toe rings. I sometimes attract attention to it because I believe the folks that stare are, in some ways, a little jealous...especially when it's hot out!

    One thing I did to acclimate to going barefoot was do it while wearing jeans and let the cuff go all the way down. Your jeans may get dirty dragging on the ground behind your heel, but you'll be able to go barefoot pretty much everywhere with no one looking, because no one will notice. Bellbottoms or really baggy jeans are particularly fun, I think, because then you can go barefoot to places that would normally throw you out, and they never figure it out! Good luck and have fun!
  10. shaggie

    shaggie Senior Member

    Go barefoot together with a friend or group. It makes it easier. It feels unusual at first but very comfortable and normal once you're used to it.
  11. pharmer420

    pharmer420 Member Lifetime Supporter

    I echo what everyone else said. I was a little uncomfortable about going barefoot in public but i find the best way to overcome that is to just do it. Everyone has feet so everyone has seen feet. Try small trips at first to places that are fimilar to you so you will naturaly feel comfortable. Then expand from there.
    I first started by driving barefoot than if i had to get out of the car i would put on sandals or flip-flops. Then when i got comfortable with that i would get out of the car barefoot and go to the ATM machine. (just a quick trip) Then i would go to the gas station and increase the amount of time little by little. I eventually felt very relaxed and not even aware that i was not wearing shoes at all. You will eventually love not having the ristriction (sp) of shoes. Once you have bested small hurdles then it is all down hill from there.
    I work in a hospital so footware is manditory for safty. As a matter of fact we are required to change shoes when we go into sterial areas. (no sandals, no flip-flops no barefeet)
    So, if you decide to become a barefooter or not is totally up to you. However take care of your feet either way because their the only pair your going to get.
    I wish you the best of luck and don't be afraid to do what feels best for you.
  12. Barefoot-boy

    Barefoot-boy Member

    I remember sitting in class and doing exactly that! AMAZING!
  13. pharmer420,

    How old were you when you started to go barefoot a little and how old were you when you felt totally comfortable?
  14. pharmer420

    pharmer420 Member Lifetime Supporter

    I started when i was about 16 or so. By the age of 17/18 i did not have a problem at all. But i suspect that the time and methoid will very from person to person.
  15. peacefuljeffrey

    peacefuljeffrey Senior Member

    The ONLY time I ever really feel that way -- passing up a barefoot opportunity -- is in regard to stores or restaurants where I suspect being barefoot won't be accepted. And yes, often if I don't just go for it, I get that regret-feeling like you mentioned.

    But sometimes I just say, "What the fuck" and go launching right ahead.

    I make a regular drive from West Palm Beach to Sebastian, FL, about 100 miles. There's cheap(er) gas off one of the exits midway along the trip, and near that is an Arby's. Since I sometimes crave Arby's sandwiches, I have stopped there two or three times since I discovered the place. It's attached to a Pilot minimart/gas station, and on the door is a bold black-and-white sign that says, you guessed it, "NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE." The first time I went in there, I just said "fuck it" and proceeded on in barefoot. Nothing happened, no confrontation. I don't know who would have been or should have been on top of keeping me out if I was barefoot, but no action was taken. So the next time I went, I was barefoot again. And the next time. So far, so good. I have a feeling that if I ever do get confronted, I'll just laugh at the person who does it and challenge, "Just why the hell do you care?!"

    We'll see.

  16. DatGuy

    DatGuy Member

    How can one be bashful about one's feet? I have read through the thread and I see that several people are, yet it is still something I don't quite grasp.

    I am quite comfortable barefoot and when the situation requires shoes I usually do some sandals or moccs
  17. capman2k

    capman2k Guest

    Funny.... Sometimes I wonder how people can be some comfortable with people seeing their feet... I've gone barefoot in gas stations and stuff, but it'll be a cold day in hell when I'll walk around my own house without shoes when someone else is home, God forbid my mother sees me without shoes... But I'm backwards like that :p
  18. Flyinglilypad

    Flyinglilypad Member

    ...I've never been ashamed to go barefoot, the only thing is shoes are required in some stores. It's second-nature for me to run around without shoes and socks unless it's very cold. Also, one time I went to find my brother outside and some idiot had left broken glass out, and since I didn't seeit, I cut my feet. Also, if you walk around in some places, your feet will get sticky or black-bottomed. Usually I run to the tub and rinse my feet or hose them off when it gets too bad, also you can get some parasites through your feet. Gotta watch that. But otherwise it feels absolutely gorgeous.

    It also makes me feel very...:& beautiful.
  19. peacefuljeffrey

    peacefuljeffrey Senior Member

    It's extremely rare to get parasites via your feet. This is something that used to happen in the very old days of poor sanitation. I have read numerous online articles about hookworm, which used to be quite feared, but sanitation has come so far since then that it is really mostly a thing of the past -- and third-world environments. There has to be literally feces all over the place in order to get hookworm, and you have to really stand in it to contract it.

    I'm sure that the Society for Barefoot Living has information about hookworm risks on their site:

    edit: actually, use this link:

  20. DG2001

    DG2001 Member

    I completely agree... Indeed, a girl looks beautiful, natural, friendly and sexy when walking outdoors in bare feet. The dust, the grime on her soles just highlights the shape of her feet. Tough soles are sexy in a pretty girl and just show she has decided not to wear shoes, not caring about them.



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