I have sort of come to the conclusion of not bothering trying any more. I'm a virgin at 22 and have decided that for the moment I am going to focus on bettering myself and on the things I can actually achieve, and that the girls will eventually come. At least that way I know I won't be distracted, and I'll have an internal locus of control. So if some beautiful girl walks into one of my college lectures, I won't feel insecure all of a sudden, worrying about what/when/how to say something.. I'll be focusing on my study. And if some beautiful girl walks into a cafe I'll only take advantage of her if an opportunity arises. Cold approaching girls and giving them amusement because of them knowing I'm desperate(when acting not), is over! Last year I was hopelessly obsessed with this girl I was chasing.. thinking thoughts like; 'oh no, I said the wrong thing today, and how will I know if that isn't the determining factor in her decision to go out with me' or 'oh dear, I missed an opportunity today and this might mean that she might have lost her virginity before I get to see her again'. Thinking like that takes it's tole on you. I would really like having the experience a relationship though.. even if the cons outweigh the pros. Anyway there's always masturbation, which I don't allow myself to do more than 3 times a week for obvious reasons(again keeping control).
derr derr maybe you need to have a dr. phill moment. or be uber in the moment or learn how to be a wizard :2thumbsup: Or have boobs and just go out. Lies. Be a man.
You do indeed sound very desperate, which is unattractive. As well as clingy. You have to flip the idea around in your head; instead of women being your 'targets' and you keep failing at hitting them and you are the one who chases them, embrace what you have to offer as a person to a potential partner and understand that if someone knew you well they would be the ones chasing you. and if such a scenario seems outlandish to you because you can't think of any reason why someone would chase you, then yes, you have some growing and maturation to do. Ps, I was a virgin until age 26. Don't give up, you are in exactly the period of your life when you meet long term/lifetime partners. Do not ignore pretty girls who attract you in class. Just don't be a creep and "chase" them; you are completely right that it only serves as humour for them, so that tells you that chasing girls is not the way to get them.
