Getting mixed signals from a woman I'm going out with on Friday

I had a month long seasonal position at Barnes and Noble in December. There, one of my coworkers was a very pretty 40 year old who was going thru a divorce. On my first day, she complained to me about how ty her husband is, and that she can't wait to move out. I figured I was the new guy, and she was just telling me things, and didn't read much into it.

But then, we started talking more, and I mentioned to her that I recently dated a 42 year old (Im 25). After that, whenever she and I were alone (stock room or break room) she mentioned how she wants to go out and meet younger guys, and she's entering cougar age. I figured this was a hint?

On my last day, I got her number, but she didn't seem too thrilled at the idea. I texted her anyways, and she seemed very excited to meet up.

We are meeting for lunch on Friday. When we were making plans, she texted me saying this: "I'm looking forward to seeing you, be prepared I have a lot of questions. I have a curious mind. "

I am confused at her mixed signals. It seemed she wasn't really down to meet me until we started texting. Any thoughts?

 

Its obvious that the woman is in fact a space alien

 

My thoughts are she is newly single and trying to figure out the dating thing again. Go, have fun, see how it goes but don't have any expectations.

Oh, and she's a woman. Mixed signals happen sometimes.

 

It is easier for some to talk in texts than in person. Go have fun and see what becomes of it.

 

She held back because she doesn't want to look desperate. Every woman's magazine worth it's salt tells us that appearing too eager for a date makes us look pathetic and easy to manipulate, so to maintain some control in the situation and appear more confident than you feel respond with "Maybe, I have to check my schedule. Let me get back to you."

Questions can mean she wants to get to know you, or it could be a sign that she's interested in getting wild and needs to cover ground rules for both. The best thing you can do is be respectful, but clear on what you're looking for so she can move on if this is a poor fit. You may also want to make it clear that directness works better than sublety for you if you need a forum to decode her.

 

they still have barnes and nobles? i looked all over the planet for a bookstore last christmas, and i determined that there is no such thing anymore.

i'm probably missing something obvious, but what is a "ty" husband?

 

I think she's into you. But most likely just for a fling.
Kind of curious how you could tell she wasn't thrilled about giving her number? If she wasn't into you then she probably wouldn't have given you her number at all.

B&N is still around.. Borders is the one that went bankrupt =[

 

My guess is that she wants a fling with you, but she's hesitating, because it's new to her. She's just divorced and you're much younger... it's all new.

 

Okay OP, here's what I'm getting out of this:

1. She's 40 and going through a divorce. Hence she's not wanting to jump into anything serious

2. She mentions the whole cougar thing and wanting to date younger guys. Hence she's not wanting to jump into anything serious

3. Sounds like she still has this job and probably doesn't want a bad rep following her. Hence she's not wanting to jump into anything serious.


Now what she probably does want? To have fun, be free, not tied down, nothing complicated, maybe a few flings, you getting the picture yet?


You might have some shot with this woman, but seriously go into it with no expectations, and if anything I'd play it off as just that. She doesn't want to deep dive into anything serious. So if anything her remark about "I have a lot of questions, I have a curious mind" it's to protect herself, but I would reverse that back onto her. Seriously she's 40 and you're 25. There's no need for high school games. Ask her what she wants and tell her your easy, so it's not like you're pinning her down or putting her on the spot. Bottom line this woman wants to go out, be treated like a lady and probably have some young stud fuck her brains out and make her feel wanted. I hate to make it sound so crude, but think of her situation and getting out of a failed marriage at age 40. I doubt there's anything long term her, but you guys might have a few fun nights together and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

I just realized the date should have already happened! So give us details, Mark.

 

She wants a fling... don't mistake her being a nice human with wanting more. She's obviously hesitant about taking solid steps, like her number, but remember, women are worried about the social aspect. Don't flirt with her in front of others, but really turn it on when alone. Don't get her number or make dates in front of others. Keep it secret from work and husband. That's what she needs. After you've been together a while, she may start saying she's having feelings and love and stuff, but don't fall for it... it's a test... just be nice and kind of caring person back, but don't get attached. Either she will see you're not going to turn into a drama queen and keep fucking or she will really fall for you and pursue you, regardless.