getting along with your significant other's parents

OK today I meet my GFs parents...I'm so nervous..I hope they like me more than they dislike my skin

 

pssst...thats a monty python song....



and stuntdragon, its hard to believe racism even exists anymore....good luck to you.

my sis dated a 200 lb black guy for a while, he was awesome....tres dude, and my parents were totally cool with it...so...yea...it can happen

 

lol my bad.... apparently i'm not up on monty python song lyrics



and i do hope it went well stuntdragon... i also find it hard to believe that such racism exists...

 

My boyfriend gets along with my parents great but my folks are cool people. They are retired hippies/stoners who got love for almost everyone except jackasses, and my boyfriend ain't a jackass (thank God!). I get along with my boyfriend's mom just fine, but we are different types of people. She is a hard-core Christian and I am a stoner, so I obviously have to change how I act around her, but thats cool. I'd rather keep the peace than give my boyfriend's mom a reason not to talk to her son. As for his dad (my boyfriends parents are divorced), they don't speak so I've only met his dad like once. And also since they don't speak I don't really consider his Dad a true parent, so who cares what he thinks anyways.

tigerlily -- its been my experience (from past relationships) that it makes things MUCH easier in a relationship if you can get along with each other's parents. You don't have to... it just makes things less stressful in the long run.

 

My parents love my boyfriend. Always talking about him and stuff. But his parents are strange. I think they like me they just are very snobby. His mom likes to be center of attention and if you dont say hi to her the moment you walk in the door she thinks you're mad at her and throws a fit.

My boyfriends brother never hardly goes and sees his parents because they hate his wife. She's black and they're very racist. It's sad because they are choosing to miss out on their son's happiness.

 

Hi. My girlfriend just moved in her with my parents and me and they dislike each other... My girlfriend doesn't like how they treat her or me and talks back can be rude to them and it effects they way i live. When my girlfriend is gone I don't hear the end of it from my parents... I hate it they think that my girlfriend has an attitude which is true but she doesn't see why we say that... she wants to be treated with respect and so do my parents.... i just am at a loss to what to do and i'm new to dating my girlfriend and i have only been daitibg for a year and a half...

 

At the end of the day, buddy, it's your parents house and if she's moving in there with you she needs to learn to respect and follow the ways of their household.
When you two move out on your own, by all means say and do as you feel.

 

My mother in law hates me and there's nothing I can do to change that, because I can't change the color of my skin. She hates the fact I'm not white.
I don't care. I try never to interfere with her relationship with my husband. I also limit my visits to his parents place so as to avoid imposing my presence on her... and her presence on me.

When I do go there, we make coincide with a visit of her other son and his wife. We keep company to each other.

She's always offending me, trying to do it in a subtle way, but failing at it. I don't care. I don't hate her, but I do find her a disagreeable person. Let hatred be one sided.

In general, I don't need to be loved. But I do wish people would keep their hate to themselves.

 

I got along well with my MIL and FIL and my husband gets along with my parents. We are of different ethnic groups, so I was afraid they wouldn't like me because of that (and that my parents wouldn't like him and his parents for the same reason). It was never an issue. I made him happy and his mother saw that. She accepted me right away. She always treated me with respect and I treated her with respect and encouraged my husband to spend more time with her. She and I were a LOT alike and we were friends.

My husband hates his father. I was always nice and polite to his father because he never did anything to me (he was abusive to my husband and his siblings when they were younger.) I gave him the benefit of the doubt and he has always treated me well. (I think it's because he is afraid I wouldn't let him see his grandkids. The funny thing is, my husband would have prevented him from seeing our kids if I hadn't objected.)

I also think it's odd that my FIL was an awful parent but he wanted grandkids. We are the only ones to have kids, so he makes an effort to see them (he's not good with kids but he's sorta trying.)

 

In-laws can be a tricky situation. My parents have always respected my choice in who I dated, and were always respectful to them. They treat my husband great. They are supportive of his choices, speak highly of him to others, etc. My husband's parents, well...that's a different story. My FIL is fine, and likes me, however the Monster in Law treats me with veiled contempt because when was being a petty controlling bitch I called her on it. (She excluded my name on a Christmas card, and sent gifts to everyone but me, and then denied that she had done it.) I have been snubbed by her on numerous occasions if she even thought I had done something wrong (like not attending a family function, even if we had other obligations that could not be canceled).

She even tried to get my dad to disagree when my husband and I got married and he told her "It is their choice, not mine, not yours, they are adults and are entitled to make their own decisions" which got him snubbed by her. She even sent my FIL to our house to tell me that it was my duty as her step-son's wife to attend family gatherings, and that I was causing conflict in the family. My husband told his dad "My wife didn't start this, yours did, and I support my wife and her decision because she isn't the one in the wrong."

Honestly, I could care less. I have no respect for her, so what she thinks means nothing to me. I just have no use for her petty bullshit, and if she doesn't like it, oh well. I am entirely too old to worry about impressing his family. They are not a major part or our lives, so I don't waste any effort trying to placate the Monster in Law. I will be civil in her presence, but that is about all I am willing to do.

 

I think it depends on the relationship the partner has with their parents. If they're close to their parents and the parents oppose who their with, odds are it's going to put a strain on the relationship. But, if they're not close to their parents and the parents oppose who their with, odds are it's not going to do anything to the relationship. If anything, it will bring both partners closer because you know how it is, "us against the world", lol.

 

I feel like I will only be the person in-laws really like or really hate. For example, since I am a celibate and wish to remain so, either the girl's father will love me for not wanting to "corrupt" his daughter, or he'll hate me for not being willing to please her, or something. They will either like my sense of humor or hate it, not much room for in between. If they hate me, I would leave if only to save the bond between parents and daughter.

 

they'll hate you. it might seem great to them at first, but once you're married, all old parents want grandkids.

 

Uh h, that's exactly what I thought. If I don't provide grandchildren for them, I'm useless. I'd probably tell them, "come back to reality, it's not 1950 anymore. It's not required to have kids anymore, we're in a new era where the standards are different. Besides, why would you want your grandkids looking like me?"

 

LOL.......



Cheers Glen.

 

Funny because it's true!

 

My in laws love me as if i were their own child. They have my back no matter what. Shit has recently gone down between me and 2 of my husbands aunts. My in laws stood behind me 100%. My family feels the same way about my husband. We are very fortunate.