getting along with your significant other's parents

is it important to you that you get along with your SO's parents, or that your SO get along with your parents?

DO you all get along? are you okay with having in-laws who don't like you? or with your parents not liking your spouse?

i've seen so many movies & shows and heard so many stories of ppl not getting along with their in-laws... does it matter? how much of a strain does it really put on the relationship?

 

lol oh man, my ex's parents (the grandparent's of my kids) HATE me... I just know it. They are all sweet to my face but I've heard they feel otherwise when I'm not around.

I don't know my current b/f's family except for his grandmom and brother. They don't seem to hate me but you never know, lol. Maybe the rest of his family just hates me without having to know me!

It is important for you to get along with them but if they hate you at least you tried. If your S.O. doesn't care much what they say then them hating you should not be a problem. Don't let parent's get in the way! In the end it is you and your feelings that really matter. Not theirs. If they don't like your S.O. I'd ask why and really listen. If it has nothing to do with your S.O. then they are just being jerky. But, if they have some valid points listen to them and either fix the problem or tell them what they may have misunderstood.

 

Nope. They don't like me. My parents love my boyfriend. But his parents suck. They were super strict when he lived at home, so when he was 16 they gave him a rediculous ultimatum. follow thier rules (absurd rules such as no going to school with anyone but his parents) or get out. SO he got out. We drank a lot that night to celebrate his freedom. That was Halloween of 2002. I got in trouble for drinking and left home myself the next day. We've been living togehter ever since. They think if I hadn't have done that, he would have moved back home. They still haven't forgiven me for it.

 

My boyfriend's parents love me. His mom talks to me on the phone all the time and always asks me to come out there (he lives in Nebraska) and that they have a bedroom for me if I ever want to come out.

My parents, on the other hand, try to rule me with an iron fist, including who I date. I "can't date" anyone who is more than 2 years older than me UNLESS he happens to go to a prestigious university, then it's ok, if he's not up to my parent's standards in intellect (meaning as many or more AP classes as I am, since this is how they judge), and if he doesn't insist on meeting my parents before our first date, whether he's picking me up or not.

So yeah... it's pretty much impossible for any of my boyfriends to meet my parent's approval, which is why my parents don't know that I've even met my boyfriend since we're in a long distance relationship. *sigh* C'est la vie.

 

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I haven't met my girlfriend's parents yet. Hopefully they will like me but the only reason I haven't met them is because...I'm black...and they wouldn't be to fond of that. I'm supposed to meet them this weekend..they don't know I'm black either..so hopefully that'll go well.

 

I'm a bit scared of meeting the parents. I usually make a good impression, but with my parents is another story. they simply dont care that much. I've had like three boyfriends coming over but i've never had a long term relationship so i couldnt say whether they didnt like any of them, though my dad used to make jokes about the first boyfriend i brought home, saying that he was gay and stuff, which wasnt true. but fortunately, my parents dont really care, i dont know if thats good or bad..meh.

 

oh good luck stuntdragon

my parents will be meeting my boyfriend in three weeks... i'm hoping they love him as much as i do, i'm just scared...

my ex-fiance had a controlling mom who wanted me to be best friends with her because his ex was, and still is, best friends with her. i couldn't take that pressure, didn't really want to be best friends with her even though i liked her alright.. she put a LOT of pressure on him, and thus on me, for me to constantly be over there and so as a result i was either with my boyfriend alone, with his parents, with his friends, at work or at school and i had no other life. i hated it.... but i DO want my parents to like my current boyfriend.. it's important to me that they like him and trust him and let us do what we want to do together....

 

My wife's mom speaks mainly Catalan, and I speak mainly English so there really isn't much pressure....just lots of sign language.

My in-laws are Spanish and just love drinking.....its nice...

i had some terrible experiences with girlfriends mom's though, especially the ones that only talked to me through my girlfriend, and made us sit at a seperate table from them during dinner.

 

The term get along is an important one. You may not really bond with your partners parents but out of respect for your partner you should always put forth an effort to get along.

I was not particularly close to my ex in-laws but I always was respectful and polite and made an effort to do the social when it was required. Now with my children they continue to visit them and it has paid off as the children are treated well and loved as grandchildren.

I think if your partner has a good relationship with their parents you should work to have that maintained.

If you really do not like them, then remove yourself and do not expect your partner to stop being with his family. Instead find something to do when they feel the need to visit.

 

Though I'm not in a relation ship currently I know that my parents tend to get along with everyone and wouldn't hate any boyfriend of mine unless he was a jackass in which case he probably would't be my boyfriend as it is. I usually get along with everyone as well unless they happened to jackasses or very over bearing control freaks. So in that case I'd probably get along with my boyfriends parents unless they fall into the Jackass or control freak categories.

And I've started to notice that people who are over-bearing control freaks tend to hate me before I even know what's going on because I'm usually quite spontaneous.

 

LOL, I have a love hate relationship with my own parents, and my boyfriend used to get mad at me for it all of the time. He thought that they were ok, and tried to get along with them all of the time. Until recently that is. Now he is beginning to see their true colors.

I love Jer's family to death. I would do anything for them. But we all butt heads sometimes. I have gotten into quite a few arguements with his mother, usually because she is trying to pressure us to get married and have babies, or force some other lame brained idea upon us (like buying a farm on swampland and living in a beat up old trailer). But we both know that we love each other, even if we disagree. She really pisses me off, and I do her as well, but what are ya going to do. Plus, the good times outway the bad. And I think I have gained more patience over the 4 years I've known her so I can let more things go now.

 

my fiance's parents live in Ohio and i've met them once. dario has a good relationship with his dad, but his step-mom is an overbearing control freak and their relationship is very strained. she was not nice to him as a kid and his dad stayed with her regardless and didn't even stick up for him...she has esentially castrated his father...so you can only really get to know ed (his dad) when nancy isn't around. he'll only be candid and open when she's not around. i haven't talked much to his folks. they came to visit us once. we all went out to breakfast and had chit-chat conversation. they liked me. my cat ran away from nancy...heehee. that made us both happy. i'm glad they "approve" but dario is 29 years old and if they didn't approve, he probably wouldn't give two shits and a fuck because he only sees them once a year and doesn't talk to them every day.

my folks LOVE dario. my whole family digs him. they just see how happy we are together and how much we love and enjoy each other, so they're happy for me. my mom, at first, was weird about it because we originally met online, and she thinks that every person you meet on the internet is some predatory monster looking to lure you into a compromising position. i didn't tell her about him until AFTER we had met in person, though. she was just really skeptical about the whole thing, but i made it clear to her that her opinion didn't matter in this case. she pretty much backed off and respected me after that, and when we moved in together and started our life together, she warmed up quite a bit.

now that our relationship has stood the test of time, his and my parents are pretty much happy for us. my dad calls him his son wOOt!

 

For the most part, the parents that I met me of girls I've dated have liked me. Some have been rather indifferent though - they didn't really like me or not like me and showed little interest. I haven't lived near my parents for 15 years for the most part so most of my girl friends have never met my folks.

I guess the debate is still open for me as for the most part there hasn't been a lot of contact between the parents of SO's in the relationships I've been in.

 

I love my in-laws. Whenever my Father-in-law sees me he always says "Hi Sweetie". He's so cute. I actually look like him a lil' bit. We are the same height and we have the same eyes.

My husband didn't get a long with my parents when we dated. He did in the beginning but then things went really ugly. I guess that would of been around the time my brother found my pot pipe in my car. It took years to recover from that episode however today they love Bill. He's a wonderful husband and Daddy to our boys.

 

My parents are dead, so I don't think I'll ever have to worry about that one..

"So when do I get to meet your parents?" ummm..let's go for a walk.*points to the ground*..theyre right there.

 

Cheer up, Small Brown. You know what they say.
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...

...always look on the bright side of life!
*whistle*

Always look on the bright side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,

When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!
And... always look on the bright side of life...

*whistle*
Come on!

other start to join in
Always look on the bright side of life...
*whistle*

For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!

So always look on the bright side of death!
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Life's a piece of sh*t,
When you look at it.

Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!

And always look on the bright side of life...
*whistle*
Always look on the bright side of life
*whistle*

 

awww babe... you're so silly *kiss* and very witty i must say

 

My mother-in-law and I have had problems in the past, but we get along ok now. When we got married, we didn't tell our parents. My parents didn't care, but his mom didn't speak to us for a very long time. She has had other issues with me. I am too young, I have a child, I'm weird, you name it. I just said that my husband is too old, he has a child too, he's weird too. She and I are on civil terms and she has grown to like my daughter, so I guess that is about as good as it will be.

 

At my age it's an issue because the parents would actually have power to forbid her from seeing me.

In the past I've not had problems - I normally come across to parents as the type of guy who they can say "Oh that Sebbi's nice, why don't you invite him round more often?" about.

That said my ex's mother never really approved of me, partly I think because she didn't really approve of her own daughter and saw me as giving in to her. I always got a bad vibe from her but I was told that she does in fact like me.

So it's tricky.

The of parents of the girl I'm chasing don't like the idea of her having a boyfriend at all at the moment - not to mention her previous man was a bit of an ass. I want to meet them because I think I'm able to gain their approval - (or her mum's at least ).

Anyway, good luck with it.

Sebbi