Gender Fluid

Being gender fluid is a difficult path to follow with a good attitude. Even here on second life people are afraid to connect with anyone who isn't presenting a fully male or female image. So I spend much of my time alone on second life as well as in the physical world. Lots of people use the distinction of second life or the real world. But I find where ever I take my consciousness is real for me.
Growing up with this condition was very difficult. I could feel people thought there was something very wrong with me. And of course it took me many years to develop an awareness of reality to deal with all this negativity. But after reaching a certain level of awareness, being gender fluid is fun. The people in the world still bring as much negativity into my life as possible, but for the most part these people are unaware and play these mind games on me unconsciously. But when I am forced to play games, I play consciously, which puts me at a great advantage. So when someone enters my mind with the idea to fix me or maybe just hurt me for being different, they don't leave my mind without eating all the bad karma they were hoping to hand off to me. And then it materializes in their lives and they have have no idea where it came from because I play games without attachment. So if you don't understand
what I am saying here it would be best not to start playing games with me. lol

 

I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough with yourself to do what you want to do. I grew up believing I was gender fluid or transgender because I never really saw myself as a boy. I much rather grow my hair long, dye it, do make up, do my nails, wear "girls" clothing, and only had friends who were girls. I went as far to go to a doctor to get blood work done for hormone therapy and things like that. Eventually I just realized I was a guy who liked things that are known to be girly by today's standards and there is nothing wrong with that.
I actually don't believe a person can be transgender or gender fluid because I don't believe there is no set thing a man or woman should be or like but what I think doesn't mean anything. Feel free to express yourself and do what you want. Life is too short to care what people think.

 

Great reply to my post. There is a reason or if you will a destiny for being born one gender or another. Once you find your reason for being who you are and accomplish what reason then you can cross the gender lines your culture imposes on you with impunity. That's when it becomes fun. You are on the right track, unfortunately it is a difficult path with lots of pain if you screw up.

 

Gender norms were not broken til adulthood til about 20yrs ago..
As the internet grew, so did platforms where transgender persons could share their stories. While there was transgender forums and such these manly were geared to sex and promiscuity. While there is nothing wrong with porn and sex. The places for mental health discussion was very limited..
Now were persons can share both their experiences with others, their growth and failures helps others as well. Ive been following this cute transformation for sometime. Male to Female..
The health aspects alone to this person body are over all positive..
With that there comes the negatives but Ill lets yous make those comments..
Shes adorable. Carry on..

 

I think it's great that these things can be done if you seriously feel like you are trapped in somebody elses body.

 

Crossing gender lines intellectually can lead to problems. I feel awareness is the only way to go. It's attachment that causes all the trouble.

 

I agree, it seems like an improvement.

 

I have a family member that is going thru F to M now. For many years she felt that she/he was in the wrong body. Now with hormone treatments. Breast reduction he feels more normal He is looking at least one more surgery if not two But the second one on the list is not being covered by insurance. And the current out of pocket costs are unreachable. We support him on his journey to be who he is.

 

It's great that you are supportive to the person going down this path. For some reason, our American culture is very resistant to this journey. As you are finding out the cost is very high in many different ways, but if nothing else you will find out that physical world cracks when confronted with a strong mind with a valid cause.

 

Like many issues in life, people can be judgemental enough to harm others , sometimes in very serious ways , (Matthew Shepard, MLK for example.) Without bringing harm to others, people should do as they wish with their lives. Life is short (Dammit!) and to constantly be belittled, harmed or potentially harmed by others for ones judgement/actions has to be truly tormenting. I say fuck ém--They are not you and you are not them.

 

It seems everyone is looking for victims to pass their bad karma down to and we are for the most part vulnerable. But in reality all anyone can do to you is make you eat your own karma. Soo if your karma is good that is what will materialize in your world.

 

My wife is a transgender. She was born a man but has always wonted to be a girl.
No I'm not gay but I am Bi.
She is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I love her just as she is.
So what I'm saying is if you are a transgender you will find love and affection.
You are not allow.

 

I'm glad there is a thread for people who recognize that they are gender fluid. I've known for a long while that I have both masculine and feminine characteristics. When I became sexually active, I realized quickly that I was bisexual, and later I recognized that my preference for lovers was actually pansexual, meaning that my attraction is based on personality, not where a person happens to be on the gender spectrum.

As a kid who was recognized by others as being male, my closest friends were girls or sensitive boys. Progressing into adulthood, this remained the same. I can relate to straight men just fine in work situations, but my confidantes are all open-minded and affectionate women, bi men, and gay men, and mostly folks who understand that gender is indeed fluid. With people who are more rigid about gender, I tend to be on my guard. This helps me to avoid being subjected to ridicule or judgment.

My girlfriend also has both male and female characteristics, and she lets me express both. I'm sure I look very "male", but the female part of me is always there and bubbles to the surface every day. Like women who wear both traditional male and traditional female clothes, I grant myself that same freedom. Skirts or long dresses feel so liberating to me in many situations, especially when walking or moving or dancing with sensuality.

Another source of liberation is recognizing my need for affection and my need to be affectionate. So many men miss out on this, especially in the way they relate to other men, but in some cases, even with the women in their lives. I was lucky that my very first male lover, many years ago, was very considerate and affectionate.

I feel like a "rich" person to be able to express and appreciate the entire gender spectrum. I don't feel boxed in emotionally, and I find it so rewarding each time I meet another person who recognizes their gender fluidity.

 

I feel like what I was taught growing up really clouded my perception of gender. Now that I’ve become more aware, I like to think I was always open minded, I see being gender fluid a beautiful thing. Unfortunately lots of people don’t see it that way and create hate and misunderstandings.

 

I think that's positive (fluidity), but there's a risk that we never ever talk about. And that's the risk that there are some people who are using some pretty convoluted reasoning to justify their deviant behavior - and by deviant, I mean very literally anywhere on the fringes of the normal social boundaries. You see a lot of this language (it used to be "bi", now it's like "trans" or "fluid" and "neutral" and/or "pan-") coming from people who are questionable; i.e. teenagers, and now, as a parent or a mentor, or any older informed/enlightened person with an opinion, you're not supposed to call them out - we've taken that away. It's factored out of the equation so to speak, and people are free to literally "choose" (and yes I absolutely mean to say "choose" because I believe you choose your behavior) their ultimate outcomes for their adult life.

And likely, well before their ready, they're very curious about "wtf is a pan-sexual".



Now it sounds like I'm throwing all this stuff around, and I'm not. I know responsible people who are gay. & they essentially understand that it's not within normality - they're not trying to remedy, adjust, or otherwise modify the course society's trajectory - they're just wrapped up in an alternative lifestyle, really... and I think they know that.

Sometimes you don't realize until you're older that these choices are somewhat permanent. Yet we say "fluid"... . Ok, fluid it is.

I think that SOCIETY and CULTURE are being ignored by irresponsible adults who basically want to railroad an agenda of questionable ethics through media. It's about power, and it's also about rights, but I think that respect is often somewhat absent from the considerations. For instance how does this effect or influence the lives of young people who are impressionable?

Is that not considered very very valuable? I think that it is, but we're caught up in some weird conundrum.

So, what I'm really saying is that there are people who can exist outside the norms successfully, but that it requires grace, effort, cooperation, and more than a little finesse.

 

Non-binary... there's one I forgot about. But not wanting to be labeled isn't really convoluted. Perhaps I could speak for myself and not for society at large>... I think that it's less realistic to expect of me specifically to accept that someone (anyone...) doesn't correspond to an established "identity".


Now then, there are some people who are different. There are those who are exceptional.

Special cases? Yes. The new normal?

 

Yes, a lot of people are somewhat freaked out by the relatively small percentage of men who recognize that they have both male and female aspects to their personality. Women had to deal with the same thing when they organized to assert rights and gender roles that were formerly reserved for men only.

This small percentage of gender fluid men will not disappear quietly into the night. There is just too much liberation and joy involved in how they feel.

 

Why? I'm mostly male, and I've met other gender fluid people who acknowledge that they are mostly male. I've also met some who openly acknowledge that they are mostly female.

My point was that "male" and "female" are not rigid and gender-solid categories to everyone, and it is liberating to bust out of the gender-solid world. When I am feeling very masculine, I express it, and when I am feeling very feminine, I express that. I'm fortunate to have friends and lovers who accept all gender-related aspects of my personhood, and I welcome the opportunity to provide the same sort of support for other women and men who have busted out of gender-solid categorization.

We are broadening the definition of "men" in a similar way that the women's movement broadened the definition of "women". Some day it will not be shocking to see men wearing comfortable dresses and openly expressing their femininity when they feel like it.

And, contrary to the fears of many, the world will not slide off its axis of rotation when that happens. Matter of fact, the world might get a little more peaceful when more men are freed from old and restrictive definitions.