geez, how desperate are some women to get married?

We do. celtgrrl and I take turns going down on each other, usually on the bus, at the national monuments, once we did 69 under the big stuffed elephant in the Smithsonian. We were thinking of going doggystyle on Lincoln's lap at the Lincoln Memorial... Are you insane? I would happily die for this woman and I don't need a piece of paper or anyone else's permission to do so. But there are things in life that required a team effort and we were both ready.

Face it, your attitude on marriage is not about everyone else, it's about YOU. And insulting everyone else who wants to get married proves it.

 

Your marriage and relationship is better and unlike most marriages today in America.

 

why thank you green. i realize that we are different from most, but i wanted to make sure i showed that all marriages are NOT equal and are not about taking on the part of the woman.

 

You stated the primary reason for a legal (civil) Marriage -
laws/regulations which promote State sanctioned Marriages...

 

I don't think a huge majority of women getting married do it with the intention of divorcing their husbands and taking half of everything he owns. I think that when they seek out a divorce lawyer that idea is presented to them or inserted into their head and their bordem or anger with their spouse prompts them to abuse the system with the help of their lawyers who like the idea or are the ones who introduced it to the woman because it makes them tons of money. I actually think in many cases it is the lawyer who gives the woman the idea because it makes them money. In other cases it is the woman who is being evil.

There are actually some guys who do deserve to have half their stuff taken, or atleast some of their stuff, but IMO many of the dicisions produced by judges are not very rational or proportional. I think that marriage is dangerous because an unsuccesful one could ruin the mans life.

 

Don't marry anybody you don't want to have kids with. The reason you marry somebody is that you want to have kids with them.

 

Jeez, cool off dude.... I did not personally insult you or anybody else. I had thought that this was a "free speech forum" - that implies it is open to opinions and discussions.

I simply gave my opinion of marriage, and in particular, the ritual of weddings (which, as someone who has made wedding dresses, I do see as some peoples' motivation for marriage)

I never said anything about how I think children play into it. I said anything about you or your lovely wife. And I never said that EVERY marriage under the sun falls under this category I set out. I just wanted to put my idea out there.

You must admit, if you look at the bulk of all weddings, that many marriages are born as a form of (socially and politically correct) exhibitionism. When it comes to inviting everyone you know to come "celebrate your perfect love" - I mean, at the heart of a marriage there are just two people involved (plus any children or animals etc of course) and I just think more people should recognize that.

I can also understand your legal reasons for marriage (in fact, we are going through a similar dilemma, trying to get both of us insured) but my opinion is that the state should not be involved in marriage AT ALL, much less tell unmarried couples that they are somehow less solid a couple from a couple of 17-year-olds who don't want mommy and daddy to tell them what to do anymore. When it comes to the issue of marriage, the barriers between church and state become nonexistant.

And just for the record, I gave my opinion about the institution of marriage, and the ritual of weddings. YOU GUYS are the ones who made this personal, not me!

 

aack!!

That article was really scary. I simply can't comprehend the mindspace that would motivate a woman to marry for those reasons. Even if I desperately wanted kids, I'm not going to settle for a jerk... what an utterly stupid and scary idea.

Whew thank god I'm me.

I think I'll just quote what Elle said because it is pretty much what I have to say as well:
"im quite the opposite of that article. i dont want to be stuck in any relationship unless its with someone VERY special who i either am or will be in love with. i dont like being tied to someone and spending all my time with them unless they really mean alot to me and im so picky that finding that "special" person may never even happen....and im fine if it doesnt. id rather spend my whole life with my friends, family and dogs then with someone i settled for."

 

My dad keeps reminding me that marriage isn't about the happy ceremony: take a look at the document--you're legally agreeing on how you'll separate if you decide to.

 

I agree. By our government making marriage an institution, it is either forcing the Christian way of doing things on all citizens and violating our freedom of religion, or it is sucking the meaning out of the ceremony.

Its stupid that our government says gay can't be married. I mean, if two gays can pay for it and they know somebody whos willing to do the ceremony they should get married, and not give a damn if its recognized by the government or not. I'd like to see how well arresting them for having a marriage ceremony on private property would work, or even on public property.

 

nobody's taking anything personal. he just comes off sounding all blown up, he's not. neither of us are mad or upset

i absolutely agree that the government has no business messing with marriage, and you are also so right about long term couples. that IS a marriage, in all the ways that count.

and it's also true that most weddings are about stupid shit like dresses that cost 10k and nasty sugar covered almonds. my only aim was to say hey, they aren't ALL like that. it doesn't HAVE to be that way. but no doubt you knew that anyway.


the whole gay marriage issue is just a horrifying joke. it is so incredibly biased and unconstitutional to not allow it. but we have to constantly wage battles over it, back and forth and back and forth. and it is inevitable that it will be legalized--but when, is the question, as right wingers will throw in every last roadblock that they can.

 

I was a little upset.

OK, no I wasn't.

 

You see , These are the times I feel happy that arranged marriages are still an option... to some.

 

what a fascinating thread...


personally, i've never been in a hurry to marry... never was the type to plan out my wedding as a little girl and even thought i'd be single (even wanted to) for a looooong time (for a loooong time). but now that i've found somebody i DO want to marry, i want a fucking wedding! i never realized how important it is to our families to be involved, and how much they actually CARE about our bond and the celebration and ceremony. why be selfish and not let somebody who loves you throw you a party? parties are always fun, aren't they? they don't have to be disastrous family reunions... lol.

anyway, i'm excited about telling the world that i'm in love with a wonderful guy who's in love with me, and we're going to celebrate it with a party and live together forever, and yada yada fairytale stuff, but neither one of us is ignoring the reality of it all. (probably even more so since we're from different countries and there's so much legal shit that goes into it)

so yeah, that was my little personal story about marriage.... and i really do think it's okay for ppl to stay single. some ppl are just better single. my stepmom married my dad when she was 42 and had never married or had any kids, and i don't think she was really ready when she married my dad.... (actually i think she has a bit of that attitude described in the article, she was just able to get stuff from guys when she was single for so long)

 

i want to get married as soon as possible but not because im desperate
its because i love my boyfriend so much and i really want to start a
family with him and have a home with the ones i really love.