'Gay' as a Derogatory Term

I have one female friend in particular who uses it more than most, she's a rather loose woman, sexually aggressive, the phrases "you're fuckin gay" "don't be such a faggot" tend to only come out when alcohol is added and directed to guys, that well basically arent going to fuck her, often in earshot of me if I'm out with her during those times.

From the guys you only really hear those types of phrases delivered with a certain amount of emphasis at times when they have assert their masculinity "I'm not doing that, thats fuckin gay!"

So its not so much that is offensive directly to me, more so their behaviour at the same time is



But there is also the 2% rule, a single incident may mean nothing, but hearing all that silly crap all the time from the other 98% of the population, and yes sometimes from our own 2%. Collectively it starts to get really annoying.

For someone who is straight and white, the majority, its really irrelevant when they try to tell someone in a minority how to think. The same kind of guy that will say something like "When I say its gay, I mean its stupid, dont get in a huff" will be the same type guy that gets all sulky if I turn around and say "Well, marriage is pretty gay"
"Getting whipped by a chick is pretty fuckin gay" "Oh, you have to check in with the girlfriend do ya? I have a spare set of testicles if you need them"

 

I completely agree with that statement.

 

You have a point, sort of. But maybe I worded it incorrectly... As a gay couple me and my partner have no rights. Gay couples have no fucking rights. Period. More than 1,000 federal rights are attached to marriage.

But there are many things that happen behind the scenes, that people are eaily blind to. I worked at a sports bar in North Miami once. My manager found out I was gay and the next day I was fired. I know that I'm not the only one that this has happened to. Would I have been fired if I was straight? No. And What about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell law? Hell Gay people can't even donate blood!

Trust me I live my life to the fullest. But hopefully something I say about using the word 'Gay' as a derogatory term affects just a few people and they think before they speak the next time it almost spills out, and thats really all I ask for. Tust me it affects ALL OF US, your just not looking at the big picture.

I love that is the only part of my last post that you responded to.

You speak like you know me, but I assure you sir, you DONT.

 

Yes, so in the end theres no use worrying about these terms.


Half the time when a girl calls a guy a pig or a pervert or a dirty old man, she wants him to fuck her

Half the time when a guy calls a girl a slut or a whore he wants to fuck her

And half the time a guy calls me a fag, depending on how he says it, I know he probably just wants a blowjob.


There really isnt any diference between being called a fag and a straight guy getting called a pervert or a girl getting called a slut

 

So what about the increase in Gay suicides? On top of these kids being directly bullied... they have to hear 'Thats so Gay' and 'Faggot this' and 'Faggot that'. Children are taking their own lives for christ sake, but these words have no impact?

 

This is why I am opposed to gay marriage activism. Instead of just having a ceremony and loving eachother, it's always about the federal rights with you people.

Am I the only person, gay or straight, who doesn't need a government certified piece of paper to tell me who is part of my family? Or is everyone just about the benefits?

 

Oh sure, thats got to be about the words.

Cos it cant be about getting their head flushed in the toilet at recess and the teachers doing nothing about it. Or what uncle Billy makes them do thats "their little secret" and then getting a slap around the head when they try tell mum and dad and are told to stop making stuff up. Cant be about that cos that never happens. Definately cant be about big sister trying to force them on to her friends, cos that definately never happens, young ladies arent like that

But sure, lets go with the words


Even with the words:

"Why dont you have a girlfriend? Dont you like Girls? *Giggle, When are you going to get a girlfriend whats wrong with you?, Dont you want to get married and have kids so you can be happy? You need a girlfriend so you can have someone to care for, Dude did you get with her? yeah I bet you got with her you dawg, What you didnt try to tap that? man whats wrong with you I'd so hit that if I had a chance, a young healthy man like yourself I bet you do well with the ladies, my sisters got a niece who'd be perfect for you, are you coming to the christening? Sarahs going to be there she doesnt have a boyfriend at the moment..mimimimimimimimi......kerrrrshhhhhhhh..."


The constant battering of high pitched voices over years at you in the end more of a head fuck than the occasional low pitched "Get away from me fag"

 

VG: I dont think djomalley was implying it was JUST about the words. He just implied that they can have an impact on kids who are already being directly bullied, and are going through some of the stuff you mentioned. Also, I hardly think that a gay kid is any more likely to have been sexually abused than a straight one. That's almost certainly just another big myth perpetuated by idiots who have to come up with reasons for why people turn out gay, when there is usually no reason at all for it. At least not reasons that can be so easily explained. Thinking that there's no such thing as a young gay person who is affected by terms for homosexuality always being used to describe anything bad, is just as ignorant and stupid as thinking every young gay person kills themselves purely because of only that.

OhSoDreadful: And what exactly is the problem with gays wanting the same federal rights as straight people? I always find it highly ironic that some people who claim to have no problem with gay people, all of a sudden become very hostile when gays seek all the same rights and privileges that straight people have. They make it out like gay people want special rights, when all they actually want is equal rights. There's no logical, or justifiable reason why gay people should be barred from marrying each other. Its just another example of allowing religious belief to intefere with the state. Which is something that should never be allowed to happen.

 

Question: If the homosexual community has the right to change the meaning of gay, why doesn't the young community have the right to change the meaning of gay?

 

edit:
sry misread things.

 

Cause and Effect.

We were talking about the Effect being a higher than normal suicide rate amongst one group

The causes being bullying, harassment, being different to everyone else, not fitting in, being exploited by peers, exploited by adults, not being believed, not being accepted.

You can do the Cause = Effect equation without mentioning gay, sex, sexuality, orientation.

If there was say a higher rate of suicides amongst mexican teens, And you heard someone say , 'Its all those causes that make them turn out like that'
Interpret it the same way and it sounds to you like "Its all those causes that make them turn out mexican" which of course sounds absurd, when what they really mean is "Its all those causes that make them turn out mexicans I have troubles with, or mexicans that are suicidal"

Its dependant on both you definition of gay and theirs.

Just because someone says something like "All gay dudes are abused as kids, thats why they turn out like that" doesnt mean thats what they are trying to say, doesnt mean thats how they intended it to be interpreted. If what they really mean is " All the gay dudes that are annoying, suicidal or have self esteem issues were abused as kids thats why they turn out like that" then it makes a little more sense, and their may be a reflection of truth to it.

Now take out the word gay, replace dude with girl, and you get:

"All the girls that are annoying, suicidal or have self esteem issues were abused as kids thats why they turn out like that"

Might not be terribly accurate, but same causes, same effect, without any mention of gay

Notice in this sentence above:

since the word gay is in there, by abused you immediatley assume sexually abused, but with out it:

"All those kind of dudes are abused as kids, thats why they turn out like that"

You probably jump to abused meaning physically abused.


Doesnt matter what you are GLBT or S, we all do it, we hear the word gay and jump to sex.

Gay kids are no less likely to be abused than Straight ones?

Well no:

Smaller kids more likely to be picked on than bigger ones
Androgynous kids more likely to be picked on than Non- Androgynous kids
Timid kids more likely to be picked on than aggressive ones

Any kid markedly different to the norm, more likely to be picked on that the other

When you are talking about an 4 year old gay kid, you arent talking about one thats gay, but one you think is going to be gay as an adult.

And thats really the important question, we know that 4 year old doesnt have a sexuality, but what is it about that 4 yr old that tells our instincts he's going to end up a gay adult

 

I totally agree with this. The special rights thing is so lame. Until we have equal rights - I applaud those folks that are raising awareness: People like Larry Kramer and Harvey Milk, etc. Silence is a mistake. :2thumbsup:

QP

 

Because I'm too good for that federal bullshit.

 

Well excellent then, because your state is about to have gay marriage. Hell even after the Prop 8 election the state of California actually refused to take the case to court, the attorney general refused to argue in favor of Prop 8, a private conservative group had to.

 

wth? cuz not everyone young is gay.

well people would like the rights of being a spouse like visiting them in the hospital for example. that's the biggest thing for me why i would advocate gay marriage laws. and once you're married, you're acknowledged as spouses throughtout the country (and some other countries). people are probably gonna have ceremonies whether marriage is technically legal or not, but there shouldn't really be a reason why the legality shouldn't be there. to courts, and business, and even strangers, civil union just pertains to "partners" a word that i agree with that is stupid. if i wanted to ask the guy i wanted to spend the rest of my life with, that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, should i ask him to be my partner or husband?
besides that i agree with you, and admire your view. +1

 

Also it's subject at the best to say the homosexual community changed the meaning of the word gay vs straight people changing the meaning of the word gay.

It would appear if anything homosexuals had to take back the word gay after it being pushed onto them.

 

For sure, I've just never had any problem visiting my boyfriend in the hospital because I give off a vibe that lets people know to treat me like a person. I'd rather just resolve my problems on a personal level rather than try to get laws changed

 

And not every homosexual is festive. Yet the word was changed from meaning festive to meaning homosexual by the homosexual community. In recent years kids (mostly) began to change the meaning of gay from either festive or homosexual to mean 'sucks'.

So, I'll ask again - if the meaning could be changed before by one movement comprised of the homosexual community (with the co-operation of media and liberal sympathizers), why can't a movement of populist young people change it now?

Is there a rule that says a word can have its meaning changed only once?

 

people just dont use the word in it's "festive" definition though, and if you did, people would understand you after a lil clarification of some sort. and the word gay wasnt just made by the homosexual community, for example read Madcap's post.

and i dont get your point with that question. are you're asking if younger generations can change the meaning for their more "derogatory" terms or what?

and no there's no rule. but by the time when words are more widely recognized as derogatory, the only change would be to use a more appropriate word, or a new proper way to use it. that's whats being done here, and it applies to other minorities also.

 

I get that don't get it. Young people already HAVE CHANGED the meaning of the word.

I'll give you an example from popular culture. In an episode of South Park a marketing firm is displaying new toys to a panel of kids for their opinion of the toys. When each toy is shown the kids respond that the toy is 'gay'. If that episode had been made 5 years earlier they probably would have said 'sucks'. So it's clear that in a segment of the population's parlance 'gay' no longer means homosexual for certain - it can now also mean 'sucks'. And for me, it also can mean happy or festive.

Now I know that homosexuals want to own the word completely but maybe they should have gotten everyone's permission to change it from happy to homosexual to begin with and they didn't. Well, now a counter movement is taking the word to a different place. So now the 'offensive' card is being played to combat the loss of the word.

For me the word means festive. I can live with it meaning something else though because I have to. So should everybody have to.