Funniest Lines From THE SIMPSONS...

"Hey, I can call my ma from up here! Hey Ma...! Get off the dang roof!"

 

Homer: I'm a rage-a-holic! i just can't live without rage-a-hol (cries)

anything that Homer says is hilarious!!

 

That whole Cletus bit is just hillarious.

Cletus: Hey Brandine, you might c'wear these to yer job interview.
Brandine: And scuff up the topless dancing runway? Naw, you best bring ‘em back to where from you got ‘em.
Cletus: Okay.

 

Bart: "what has four legs, and ticks?"

milhouse: "a walking clock?"

other kids: "a walking clock? a walking clock?"

martin: "i wager he has some variety of a walking clock in that box."

ms. krabapple: "bart, is it a walking clock?"

bart:"what?...no, it's my dog..."

 

Judge Snider: But why did you rig the election?

Sideshow Bob: Because you need me Springfield. Your guilty conscious might make you vote Democratic, but deep down you know you want a Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a city to run.

Judge: Bailef, place the mayor under arrest.

Bob: What? Oh yea, all that stuff I did.

 

Lisa: I'm studying for the math fair... if I win, I get a brand new protractor.

Homer: Too bad we don't live on a farm...


hahaha

Oh oh, here is another one!

Kent Brockman (doing a live newscast): how can I prove that we're live? ... PENIS!!


LMAO!!

 

"Beer. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." Homer


"Prayer. The last refuge of the scoundrel." Lisa

 

(Homer walks up to a building with a sign that says 'GYM')

Homer: Geim, what's a Geim?

(He looks inside and sees people working out)

Homer: Ohhhhhh, a Geim.

 

homer : "whenever i learn something new i forget something else i learnt before. like, remember that time i learnt how to make wine? after that i forgot how to drive !!!"


marge : "cuz u were DRUNK"

 

i love that one

 

when he was smoking pot in the attic with otto

homer: otto is otto spelt bacwards
otto: now your freaking me out

 

haHA! !

 

the bowling episode where they a playing the christian team.
MOE: think they're all high and mighty just because they never got caught driving without pants"

beer baron episode

rex (the new police chief) he sez to himself "ill catch you beer baron" and homer replies from a far off distance loudly "no you wont"

the episode where bart and homer start grifting and the whole town sets them up and has a fake court case and skinner gets shot (but not for) real. homer sez "so you were all in it?" willie " WILLE WASNT IN ON IT")

 

haha yeah xac willie gets blamed for it all and is gonna get arrested

"so you were all in on it?"

"willie wasnt!!!!"

he says it in the best voice too

 

Anthing Cleetus (the hillbilly) says. He has the greatest one-liners out of all the characters that aren't related to the Simpsons i think... Like when he was 'widdling the future'. Quality!

 

Lisa: "you can't kill Bart. He's...he's your son!"

Willie: "WHAAA!?!?!?!?!"

he sounds hilarious when he screams.

oh, and when the teachers go on strike and they replace them all, and willie's the french teacher. he goes, "bonjourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!" and rolls the R at the end. classic!

 

When Homer and Ned Flanders get married in Las Vegas by mistake....If you watch carefully, there is a Ralph Steadman animation sequence [Homer as lawyer and Ned as Hunter]....

 

Homer: "Lisa, normal people eat meat."

(Did I already post this?)

 

how about homers song! (sung to the tune of doe-a deer)
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer
Me, the one that drinks the beer
Ray, the guy who buys me beer
Far, a long run to get beer!
So, ill drink another beer..
La, ill drink another beer....
Tea, no thanks im having beer!
And it all comes back to... Doh!

 

doh!