Funniest Lines From THE SIMPSONS...

Bart talking about his new school uniforms]
Bart: Mo-o-om! My slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck!
Marge: Bart, where did you pick up words like that.
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! That just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Sorry, Moe, gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening.

 

LOL Damned weiner kids... one of my faves...

 

Lisa, as she notices Bart praying for snow so he won't have to write a test,

"Prayer....the last refuge of the scoundrel."

Homer, to Bart and Lisa when they failed at something.
"Well, you tried and you failed, so I hope you learned your lesson.
Never try."

 

Too numerous to mention! The Simpsons has the longest legs of any show on Television for my money. FYI, Hank Azeria, voice of many Simpsons characters, has his own show on showtime now. www.show.com/huff1

PS, Hey loveflower, I think you missed a piece.

 

I heard Homer once say, "Two wrongs make a right."

 

"Everything's comin' up Milhouse!"

 

last nights chalmers " was that a prayer? a prayer in a school, god has no mplace between thease walls... simpson u get ur wish"

 

willie to skinner: "that's the lat time you'll slap your willie around, I QUIT!"

 

homer readind thermostat: ""-Do not touch, willie-" hmm, good advice."

 

::Milhouse slicks his hair back with a glue stick::
"Stay cool, Milly..."

 

Homer singing "Oh margie, you came and you found me a turkey ... on my vacation away from workie"

 

from a tv commercial on the Simpsons: "Fruitopia made by hippies, sold by heartless corporate types."

 

Homer: Hey this last question is marked out.
Recruiter: Yes, due to a recent presidential order, we're no longer allowed to ask that.
Homer: Well I think I can make it out, are you a homose...
Recruiter: For god's sake sir don't answer that I can lose my job.
Homer: But I'm not a homose....
Recruiter: La la la, I am not listening, la la la.
Homer: Nice guy, I wonder if he's gay.

 

I left out part cause I thought it made it less funny

 

Jebediah Springfield video:

In 1796, a fiercely determined band of pioneers leaves Maryland after misinterpreting a passage in the bible. Their destination, New Sodom.

 

In the epsode where Apu cheats on manjula with the Squishie Lady
Homer says: Anybody for penis?

 

(whale sounds)
Admiral: you hear that, the whales are hungry, ah Homer, join us
(homer makes whale sound)
Admiral: So Homer, what do you want out of life?
Homer; I want peas!
Admiral: Yes, we all want peace, but it's always just out of reach. So what's the best way to get peace?
Homer: With a knife.
Admiral: Yes, not with the olive branch, but with the bayonet. Ah Simpson, your're like the son I never had.
Homer: And you're like the father I never visit.

 

*Homer takes a drag from Patty & Zelma's cigarrettes @ the DMV*

"I'm in flavour country."

"Two cigarrettes?"

"It's a big country."

 

Homer: mmm.... invisible cola.
Ralph: I ate all my caps.

Burns: Smithers, take my belt off.
Smithers: With Pleasure sir.

 

haha i love the burns and smithers one