fucked with {long, but please, i need you all}

yip, i'm still young in the world i guess anyways, thanks for your points, and im really really sorry if ive sounded defensive, though looking back i have been i'm off now, pure maths revision

 

No worries dude. Hope it all works out for ya

 

Bro... Seriouslly. As hard as it is to do, just walk away and don't look back. I was in one like this (one of my first) and they drag it out forever because when you continue to attempt they keep getting the attention and feed off it. I know what its like to be lied to about it all and it hurts deep down because your sitting there opening up yourself with true feelings and falling in love with someone that really doesnt exist and when you find out that its not real your left with a bitter angry shell. You will never get her to see rationallity and will always be the cause of all the problems in her eyes. Its only going to hurt more if you don't let go as soon as you can. Its more than likely that you'll recieve contact later after terminating the whole thing (Like a month or so) but just kinda brush it away. Its cruel cold words but I mean them because its hell and hurt and I want to help you away from it as quick as possible. Note how when you bring up her blatent lies she turns it around on you to make you seem like a bad person. Dont feel about it. I remember I was in a relationship and she constantly blew me off without any explination. When I would confront her about it she'd openly say what she did and claim she couldnt call me at all and tell me to stop getting pissed.... You can't have what you thought was in this person because it never was most likely. Please just walk away and save the pain because it only gets worse. You can talk to me if you need bro. I'm here for you

Will

 

i guess your right in some ways will...so thanks

just hard to leave someone who you felt closest too

 

im confused here....um people??! hello?!?! did everyone miss the part which said she had major family troubles and had lost her mum??

man some people!! i see where you are coming from kier, hun, but really of course this girl is hurt. very hurt. the poor thing doesn't know who she can trust, she lost her mum, someone she loved and another who she loves-her dad hurts her. how can she know who to trust, they always violate that trust and leave her, whther physically or emotionally.
im sure she never meant to hurt you kier, really and honestly. i just think she is so confused and going through so much pain. she wanted you to help her when she couldn't do it herself. thats a natural enough thing to want-problem is, is is impossible. no one can do that for you, you have to do that yourself and i guess that is the hard lesson she is finding out. when you are at a crossroads of pain in life it is good to have someone there for you, but at the same time you want to be independant-to show you can do it. to prove to yourself that you don't need/want anyone. so she will have cared and probably still will more than you will know, but opening up can be difficult, so difficult at times when you are scared you will lose that person and they will leave you and you will just have to go through the pain again. its not easy. but you can rest assured that she is hurting the same, if not a lot more than you are.
she never meant to push you away, to lie. but im sure its the only way she knew how to deal with it. it is obvious she has low self esteem from the issues she has had to face and that is difficult to overcome, no matter how much you love someone, self hatred always wins. i know this myself. so its not you, its her. but its not her fault. she is doing the best she can right now, and its good of you to still care. if anything she is pushing you away because she cares so much. i know that might not make much sense but thats the way it is.
as for the lying about the poems and pictures- well, perhaps this is the best way she can express herself. did it not mean everything to you at the time? thats all that matters. not the author or whether she wrote the words. the words expressed how she felt and that makes them no less meaningful! you should not feel too violated about this, if anything you should not feel at all. remember how you felt when you thought they were particularly for you alone, and feel that again. as they were. she felt this about you whichis why she chose them. don't feel bad.
on a final note-she won't hate you. honestly. she is trying to survive the best way she can. don't feel hurt. im sure she thinks of you often and is hurting more than you can imagine. so please, just be. erhaps one day she will contact you again but till then know you had a true and loving experience and open your eyes to the love.
sorry this was so long i just feltthis point had been blantantly missed!
oh and about posting it all here.of course she will be hurt, violates as she saw you as someone she could trust and you damaged that-i know you feel the same about her. but its done now, and i can understand you needing advice.im sure one day she will understand if she doesn't already.
namaste and take care
x x x

 

thankyou again, all your points i understood. i had tried to break up with her earlier, but couldnt, as i saw it hurt her...yeah, she does feel she needs someone there, and perhaps now she is single she will realise her strengths.

posting on here did break her trust, but the problem is my trust in her had all but disapeared...i wouldn't of minded if she had just sent me the poems/pictures, but she made up stories to go with them...in my eyes it was bullshit, and i had whole-heartedly believed her.

i can see why she did it in some ways now, but the damage is done.

she is of course hurting, i knew it would hurt us both...yeah, she may be lost and scared, but she is so closed up...if she contacts me i doubt it'll be any time soon.

i dont know...my trusts gone, and though i want her as a friend i feel she won't let me get close. i dont know what to think anymore, so unless/untill she contacts me i will do my best to move on