fuck, gotta get drug screened.. HELP!

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by Gravity, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. Gravity

    Gravity #winning

    Got moved to a new department & they pull this shit.

    Prolly smoked 5-6 days ago.

    The fuck I do to pass?

    I can only think of 2 things.. I can drink shit tons of water and dilute the piss so much it doesn't show up OR take the chance of using someone else piss that is clean (hoping they don't take the temp, which I think this place does).

    Maybe some hot pockets? LOL

    Fuuuuuuck.. Need some ideas ladies and gents.
  2. st. stephen

    st. stephen Senior Member

    tuck that clean piss in a condom under your ball sack and it will be body temperature anyways
  3. Mother's Love

    Mother's Love Generalist

    i got clean enough in 5-6 days to join the navy. on a wednesday my recruiter said to drink a lot of water, and come in for the "first" time on friday.
    water and teas are the way to go, herbal diuretic teas i'd say are best. the only one i can think of off the top of my head is dandelion root, but that may not be available this time of year.
  4. Gravity

    Gravity #winning

    Thing about getting clean piss on this short of notice, I dunno if I can find somebody right now, that is actually clean. Ima get on the horn in a few though & see.

    So the piss only needs to be body temp?

    I'd rather drink shit tons of water but that process is no garentee. May just do both I case the other option doesn't work out.

    If anybody has gotten clean in a few days by drinking lots of liquids I'd like to hear stories if it worked or didn't.
  5. st. stephen

    st. stephen Senior Member

    ^if u want to use the water method, its is not always as easy as drinking a shit ton of water. one must first eat a steak or a large piece any red meat the night before the test, wake up and get to drinking like your life depended on it, and take some vitamin b pills cause otherwise your piss will just look like water and they will reject. <--that is the safest by the books way to do it
  6. fezzappa

    fezzappa Member

    they have a drink at the health food store that works- you need to drink it with a couple bottles of water.it may come up diluted,but not positive- you may have to retake it...but just make sure you follow the instuctions....it does work...sorry i forget what it is called,but they will know in the store..tell em what you need i8t for-

  7. skierdood

    skierdood Space For Rent

    so you've got at least 5 clean days under your belt, how many days till your test? Just drink alot of water and do alot of exersizing and you may just pass.
  8. Gravity

    Gravity #winning

    Tommorow afternoon.

    RELAYER mādhyamaka

    Dont do this. Eating a steak or any red meat will INCREASE the fat in your body, thus DECREASING the process of substance expulsion through urine. You want to eat light, but never abstain from food as this causes your body to conserve. Balance is the key.
    The vitamin B pills are a little over the top, though without a doubt they will help turn your urine colour. The easiest way is to drink a Redbull (which is loaded with B6 and B12) and then drink 2 litres of pure water within the next 30 minutes, giving about 30 minutes to an hour before the test. The Redbull will turn the urine colour, and 2 litres is an almost definite pass, even 1.5 litres could do the trick.
    I've passed tests on 1 litre and a coffe when Ive had metabolites left over from various drugs as early as the day before.
  10. I'd call in sick if I were you lol.

    RELAYER mādhyamaka

    Wait, in a strip standard 5 cup, or going to the lab cup?
  12. st. stephen

    st. stephen Senior Member

    yo http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/testing/testing_faq.shtml#6

    but, if its not a lab test than none of it is really necessary

    RELAYER mādhyamaka


    RELAYER mādhyamaka

    Id say go for the dilution anyway fuck it, as long as its not for parole what are they gonna do? Just say you have a disorder that doesnt let you piss on command lol and you had to drink a shitload in order to be able to go. At the least it will buy you more time (Id imagine?) to take another test.
    I get tested once a month for parole, but have never been tested for work/military so I really dont know the deal with how they would react to such a statement.
  15. fezzappa

    fezzappa Member

    i am telling you this drink works- my son did it and passed- the first time he drank it with too much water and the test came up diluted- then the next day he did it over 2 hours and passed the test- it comes in a bottle it is some kind of detox mixture-

    i also drank a detox tea and that worked,but you have to drink a gallon of it- i dont know what else to say- i know you dont know me,but i am telling you call a health food store and pick this up-
  16. NadaM

    NadaM Member

    they will take the temp, if you do the second store it really close to your skin and try to bring a heat pad with you. they will most likelly ask you to take off your jacket and empty your pockets aswell.

    i would recommend trying to detox, depending on how much time you have left i would get a box of yogi detox tea and drink it all in the course of 2-5 days. It will make you really uncomfortable though.... better than loosing your job imo

    drink lots of water while doing this and eat as much raw fruits and vegetables as you can (versus meat and heavy cooked foods)

    Before taking your test (the day of) make sure you eat something very light and have a glass of water with it (sip dont chug) so your gravity will be low but not too low. the lower it is the more water there is in your pee and the less likelihood that thc will be found in your system
  17. Gravity

    Gravity #winning

    I'm assuming it's a lab, considering the name of the place is labcorp.


    RELAYER mādhyamaka

    Whew. Daym. Yea pretty much, Id go for the dilution and see if it buys you time. That might be your only hope.

    RELAYER mādhyamaka

    Wait, do you believe in God? lol
    Because I've seen some pretty damn miraculous negatives go down from friends getting job testing. My cousin passed once when he smoked the day before, kids like 180lbs and smokes several times daily, and has for years.
  20. comfortably_numb9

    comfortably_numb9 an asshole

    niasin pills, two hours later your clean

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