Fuck buddy problems.

So I met this guy off craigslist after I posted an ad about a casual encounter.

I contact the guy, we met up and he seemed really cool, smart, cute, etc. We planned to meet up a few days later and go back to his house. During this time, we were sexting like crazy. He texted things like he wanted to be inside me, he couldn't wait to blah blah blah.

So we meet up, I'm a little apprehensive (remember the craigslist killer??) but after a while we start kissing and it progresses from there. I'm completely naked and he's eating me out.
I asked him if he has any condoms (hint hint) and he says yeah in a bit.. but doesn't stop. So I get on top of him, I'm rubbing myself on him, and he stops me.

"I can't do it," he says. "I'm nervous." "Nervous?" I asked him. "What are you nervous about? We're already naked in bed. What could happen?"
And he just made awkward conversation and apologized. "Ok well.. I have to go soon" I tell him.

"Ok, have you seen Hunger Games? We could watch a movie." he says. I haven't seen Hunger Games, I tell him. So he puts it on and he says we can watch half, he doesn't mind, before I leave.

I'm sitting there.. dumbfounded. Is this actually happening?
"Actually dude, I think I'm gonna go." I tell him. "Oh," he says. "I'll walk with you to the bus stop."

I told him that this was a sign that it was a bad idea to do this. He says whatever. As we're walking, he attempts to go into this speech about how I'm genuinely a nice person and that I'm young and I'll meet someone else for sure.. I was like.. please stop with this pathetic pep talk dude, it's unnecessary and a little embarrassing.. and we walk in silence. As we're saying goodbye, he can tell I want to say something. "say it," he says. "I just have no idea what to say right now." I tell him. "Ok," he says. "Ok, bye," I say. And then I turned around and walked away.

Now I feel very.. unfulfilled, mostly like a stupid asshole.
Why was he nervous?
Was it rude of me to just leave like that?
Why would you answer an ad for sex and then not have sex? I kind of liked this guy, I was thinking if the friends with benefits thing didn't work out, we could be friends. When we met up I felt like I knew him. Thoughts?

when I did a tarot card reading about the situation I got the chariot, ace of pentacles, the moon, the lovers, seven of cups and 8 of pentacles, which made for a slightly confusing read.

 

I suggest not having sex with people from Craigslist.

 

That was extremely unhelpful, condemning and offensive. Please restrain yourself.

 

I don't think there's a thing wrong with having sex with people from craigslist as long as you're practicing safe sex. It's no better or worse than hooking up with someone at a party, at a bar, or even a internet forum. Definitely no judgement here on that.

That being said, maybe he has a girlfriend and started feeling guilty when the moment came?

 

Actually I thought it was helpful. Just trying to not get you killed but if you're into that kind of thing... I'm sure I'm not the only person here with that advice. I certainly don't think my advice is worthy of being reprimanded like a child. I'm not condemning you for having casual sex. Do what you want but I think you are naive to think that meeting someone on Craigslist to have sex with is a good idea. You were lucky this time. There are a lot of weirdos out there. Good luck with that.

 

Whether or not finding a sexual partner on craigslist is naive is NOT the issue at hand. Obviously, I have met someone who is decent, and I'm really bummed that it didn't work out. Your advice is like telling someone with car problems to just not have a car and their problems would be solved. True I guess, but it won't fix the broken radiator, or whatever. See what I'm saying? Your advice is not helpful in this way, and you're condemning me to being "naive" without even knowing me.

 

Having car problems and you not getting laid are 2 entirely different situations. I'm not going to argue with you because it's not worth my time. Good luck and I hope you get some soon.

 

It could be he just got genuinely nervous. Why not? It could be that, on paper, the idea was great to him, exciting, but when it was happening, he wasn't so sure anymore.

Women could get nervous, change their minds. Men, too.

I wouldn't think too much of it. He just got nervous. Why? Who cares: it's his right and he probably couldn't help it, but want out at that moment.

He did make an effort, because he's given you oral. Let's wish him better luck next time, that he doesn't get nervous and can fully enjoy it.

And same to you. Good luck next time.

 

Interesting... Where I used to live, I had a really cool downstairs neighbor, and we were reasonably good friends. One night, we decided to have sex just for kicks. I went down on her... her pussy was a true delight... and she seemed to come multiple times... but...

... when she spread her thighs and panted, "fuck me," I couldn't. Now, I'm not saying that what happened with me and her is your situation, but here's the reason it didn't work. As much as she seemed to like me going down on her, as much as she seemed to want to fuck, during the entire time, she never touched me. She didn't kiss me, she didn't stroke my dick in a tender way and she surely didn't give even a token bj... I was like some kind of vibrator and that just didn't do it for me.

Too bad... she was pretty cool otherwise, and one unforgettably tasty pussy.

 

He went down on you and then you were like okay lets fuck! Maybe you should have returned the favour to get him in the mood. Believe it or not some guys do like to have a little bit of attention giving to them as well before jumping straight into intercourse. I was in this situation once before. Girl was hot, but just wanted to fuck asap and skip the rest. Did nothing for me.

 

Could have been a lot of things. Performance anxiety is pretty common.

Sex is also not a strictly mechanical act, though we often see it as that. It affects you on a personal/emotional level. Jumping into sex with a total stranger is not something that everyone necessarily wants to do whether they realize it or not, imho.

If he was nervous or insecure before, he's probably more so now. He probably also got the impression that your only interest in him was for sex, and when you didn't get it, you left, which doesn't really create a positive impression with some folks.

I think that you should call him back. Apologize for having left so suddenly. You don't need to discuss what happened. Let him know that you like him. Maybe suggest that you spend more time together. If things happen, they happen, but there's no need to force anything.

 

You hit the jackpot by meeting someone on cl who wasn't a complete maniac. Maybe you should call him back.

 

Notice how the girls in this thread have replied with either he was guilty about his girlfriend or trying to make you feel guilty about casual sex / using craigslist.

And the guys have replied with well if the girl is just going to use the guy like a dildo does nothing for them.

By the sounds of it that was probably it, nothing about you, probably just didnt want have to just perform, good ole missionary just having to pump away whilst thinking of dead kittens to perform long enough, not all that exciting for them

 

I am totally hot for this dude so being all over him was no problem. There was a lot of kissing and touching before he went down on me, which seemed like that was his end game. Does this happen to a lot of women? You're getting into it with a guy and he just goes for your vag immediately? Yeah, I wanted him to fuck me, as per my ad on CL saying I wanted to have sex. Not just get eaten out, but actually P in V. I think I was just frustrated and confused, maybe embarrassed, and made my exit stage left. We were sexting like crazy! The sexual tension was insane. He said a lot of things I thought we were gonna do. Now that I think about it, he did talk about eating me out a lot. But anyways.. I think I'm going to text him again and apologize. He seemed like he just wanted to hang out and I feel like a total douche for leaving like that.

 

Maybe it seemed too good to be true. A few years back before internet, wife and I looked for other couples in adds. Don't feel cl would be any better. Lots of phoney adds and people.

He could very well have become suspicious. You may have good intentions and didn't expect that.

 

He may have been cheating on someone and it was screwing with his head. Could be lots of things. Send him a message and ask him what the hell really happened? Let him know you won't judge him and maybe he will confess about having a baby mama somewhere or maybe it's something else. If you are into him like that then get to the bottom of it.

 

..maybe he's a relationship type guy

he was lonely and answered the casual sex ad but when it came time, he couldn't do it..

 

sometimes it does , but would it not be nice to have fun?

 

I'm guessing what rainy said rather than mothman.

I suppose mothman could be right, but I think the conversation could get too awkward if that's not the reason. It could be that he couldn't get it up, or emotionally it didn't feel right.

Demanding an answer as to why he didn't fuck you would be putting him on the spot.