Friends with the ex's friends?

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Therese Aline, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    So I broke up with my boyfriend almost two weeks ago. All his friends are cool people, I like them and they like me. I was starting to become friends with them. But now, it's kinda weird 'cause I'm not with Wes anymore. We parted amicably; we're ok, but things are kind of awkward with his cousin. We were kind of a trio. We rarely did anything without his cousin, Kenny, and I always said there couldn't be a better third wheel. Normally I woul've been annoyed to have someone always with us, but I dig Kenny. The 3 of us got along great. I want to stay friends with Kenny, but he seems uncomfortable now. :(
    I'm not sure what to do here. I don't want to lose a cool friend, but I don't want to force myself on him either.
    Any advice?
     
  2. jrnyman

    jrnyman kermit

    give it time and don't force anything. especially in the beginning things are gonna be strange. plus he is family to your ex so that could just be a pretty odd situation. Some people can handle ex friends... some can't. sometimes in these situations it's better to just cut your losses and move on.
     
  3. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    i'm thinking you should probably just move on and find your own friends; keeping the ex's will probably just be hard for everyone.

    but what the fuck do i know?
     
  4. *°GhOsT°LyRiC°*

    *°GhOsT°LyRiC°* Supporters HipForums Supporter

    its probably still kinda early. but usually a good friendship cant be stopped. the wierdness will go away, and im sure you guys can all still be friends. im friends with my ex's. and they're friends as well
     
  5. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    He's not actually his cousin, I should've specified that. They just always call each other that and I seem to have picked it up too.
    I can understand it being weird for him, but I think it's only as awkward as you let it be. But I guess I just have to wait and see. I see him at work so I have opportunity to break the ice, or vice versa.
     
  6. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    Thank you, that's encouraging.
     
  7. Cate8

    Cate8 Senior Member

    People I have been friends with through boyfriends, are just distant acquaintances now, as are the exes.
     
  8. jrnyman

    jrnyman kermit

    yeah it can get pretty effing weird to have people you dated still in contact with friends and family. I mean it happens but my ex-fiance and my mom used to talk like a year or more after we broke up and they'd kind of gang up on me and shit... it wasn't cool.
     
  9. Cate8

    Cate8 Senior Member

    ah man, your mommas supposed to be on your side!
     
  10. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    this is actually kind of encouraging. stay friends with cuz and you guys can gang up on ex.
     
  11. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    Well, I'm not talking about being friends with his mother. :rolleyes:
     
  12. jrnyman

    jrnyman kermit

    :rolleyes: i know huh. my entire extended family got in on it. they're still mad at me in a lot of ways. it's been over five years.

    and TA it's all about what you all think you can handle. I'm just saying it can get awkward. If you want to do it go for it.
     
  13. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    i wouldn't mind being more than friends with his mother either...
     
  14. jrnyman

    jrnyman kermit

    you don't know my mom, lol
     
  15. nakedtreehugger

    nakedtreehugger craaaaaazy

    seriously. you DON"T know his mom, or that would have been the farthest thing from your mind. :eek:

    i think it's really difficult to maintain friends with exes, and even harder to maintain friendships with their friends. sometimes it happens naturally, and i think that's great. but i think you definitely can't force anything, and may need a couple of months to adjust to the separateness of you and the ex before those friendships can take off again, with you as an actual friend rather than a friend because you're the girlfriend. but that's just my opinion. i'm not real good at staying friend with exes, historically. this is the first time i've attempted it myself.
     
  16. hiro

    hiro pursue it

    Honestly, you can make friends with new people and shouldn't stay friends with his friends. If in due time you still feel the same way and the awkwardness passes then give it a try but there a tons of people you can make friends with that don't have a tie to your ex.
     
  17. nakedtreehugger

    nakedtreehugger craaaaaazy

    i agree, hiro.

    i mean, i could see how he could easily feel like you were trying to steal his life away by continuing to hang out with his friends (this is assuming they were exclusively his friends before your coupledom, and not mutual friends prior to hooking up).
     
  18. Waking Life

    Waking Life Cool looking idiot

    kick him when he's down.



    SLEEP WITH HIS COUSIN.
     
  19. hiro

    hiro pursue it

    Yeah NTH, its like how are you going to get over some one when you are constantly reminded of him? Hanging out with his pals will just further the pain.
     
  20. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    Actually, Hiro I prefer to face whatever issues I have so it'd be better for me to stay friends with my ex because I'm forced to deal with it. Having to face him will only make me stronger, as opposed to not seeing him for awhile, thinking I'm over it and then running into him and being slammed with feelings I thought were played out. Everything in life is a lesson.

    You do make a valid point, NTH, I certainly hope he wouldn't feel that way. :(
     

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