friends with benifets

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by _DeLiA_, May 16, 2004.

  1. _DeLiA_

    _DeLiA_ Member

    is it wrong to fool around with a guy you dont have feelings for? not sex but just fooling around.... :eek:
     
  2. *Anne85*

    *Anne85* Member

    i dont think its wrong...i do it every now and then
     
  3. Fractual_

    Fractual_ cosmos factory

    well you obviously have SOME kind of feelings for him. maybe you just dont realize it.

    if your using him, just make sure he doesnt find out, unless he thinks hes using too :p
     
  4. CckBlocking

    CckBlocking Member

    I feel that as long as you are not leading him to think that you like him or you are not hurting yourself or anyone else by doing so its ok.
    I have a few guys that I like to make out with once in a while. Its all good fun.

    keep safe
    CB
     
  5. Ive hooked up with guys I dont have feelings for but I always feel SO weird later on.
     
  6. lordcthulhu

    lordcthulhu Member

    Last night my freind came over to my house with this girl that he basically made out with the whole time. I asked her if she was going out with my freind but she said no. After he left we smoked another bowl and started drinking vodka like mad. Then we started to cuddel, then we started to "touch" each other and eventually she gave me head(i wouldn't have done anything with her if I was sober, she wasn't the most buetiful thing.) The next day I didn't regret it at all, i was drunk and shit happens. My freind then called me saying that he was thinking about asking the girl out. He doesn't get to have alot of expiriences with firls so he thinks that any girl that makes out with him, wants to go out with him(Graduated in a class of 26 kids at a small catholic school:). So now I have to choose between not telling him, or trying to explain that she was a slut(please excuse the word) and that she would do it with most people. I may hurt his feelings now becuase of my choice that I made while spending time with the girl. He would be shocked to find out that she gave me a blow job and may think that I betrayed him, but that's only worst case scenario. I'm going to talk to him tomarrow. Just one reason why you should be careful when playing with freinds with benefits.
     
  7. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    hmmm...sound like your kinda slutty yourself. How are you going to explain that to him?
     
  8. Mintaoism

    Mintaoism Member

    thats normal...maybe he see's you the same way.. and would you like to be used for sex?
     
  9. dspiel

    dspiel Member

    I'm never sure if friends with benefits really works or not.
    But, if it does, most important is to make sure both people are clear on it. That's the place where there's the biggest risk of problems.... if one person thinks there's something there while the other person know absolutely that there isn't.
    But if you're both on the same page, all's well and enjoy.
     
  10. dylanzeppelin

    dylanzeppelin daydream believer

    in my opinion i believe that freinds with benefits just leads to stress or hurt by one of them. i think one of the two people involved will get somewhat attached and its just gonna hurt. indulging in something like fooling around and eventually sex, for some it means to have a feeling for someone or rather they wouldnt take the act lightly, unless they are both really cool and dont care, it's all good.

    i been in the friends with benefits situation and stupid me believe that it would help the guy like me, but it didnt and i learned never to allow myself to get in a situation like that again. im not one to just do whatever without some sort of feeling, i guess you could say i'm an emotional person or so. that's just what i think though, although i wish i could let my guard down and just have fun, but with the whole thing of me thinking alot will occur, it's not worth it.
     
  11. ZePpeLinA

    ZePpeLinA Jump around!

    I dont really agree with shagging friends, it sometimes damages people's relationships and feelings.

    it's best to deal with one's horniness in ways that dont involve people that can potentially get hurt and/or can hurt us. We humans tend to dramatise everything we do dont we, it's best to find a suitable loving partner instead of possibly ruin a friendship.

    I'm not feeling very sexy today.
     
  12. dylanzeppelin

    dylanzeppelin daydream believer

    i completely agree with zeppelina, what a great way of putting it.
     
  13. kitty fabulous

    kitty fabulous smoked tofu

    i'd say it's possible but very difficult. i've had some really wonderful casual sex/friends-with-benefits experiences, but i've had lots of disasters too. the most common problem was the guy falling for me, or wanting to get really serious when i just wanted a fling. there was once when i slept with someone at a festival because i really wanted someone else and couldn't have him - that was awful! sex, be it casual sex or serious intimacy, always involves a great deal of communication. sex is the purest form of total physical honesty. it needs to be paired with total emotional honesty as well. and even if there's no long-term commitment involved, there should always be trust.
     
  14. None of my guy friends are shaggable they're such pansies if we did shag it would feel as if I was having sex with my girl friends, no it would be more like shagging someone more feminine than my girl friends.
     
  15. JohnStossel

    JohnStossel Member

    Wow randomuser, some pretty harsh words...unless you hang out with gay dudes. Anyhow, you're goddamn gorgeous from what I can tell in that little picture.
     
  16. vanilla

    vanilla Member

    can't do friends with extra benefits. I'm too emotional a person for that. Always end up wanting more.
     
  17. My friend and I are really good friends and we sorta have messed around with each other. I'm gonn ask if I can kiss him the next time I'm alone with him. He's REALLY good with his hands too.....*whew*
     

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