Friendly Relationship Advice

Do you give relationship advice to people you care about who maybe didn't ask for advice but just have way too many relationship issues and you just can't sit there and listen to them whining and complaining and constantly arguing over and over again?

Like people who constantly break up and it's obvious one person is using the other person...and that person doesn't seem to know it.

If so how do you bring that up or do you just ignore them or shush them when they start talking about their relationship issues?

Also is there any advice that you think everyone should have in a relationship?

For me it'd go something like: if you're constantly arguing and thinking about breaking up, just do it and don't go back.

 

i rarely give unsolicited advice. it's usually ignored anyway.

excluding what i say on hipforums obviously. i tell all of you guys how to live your lives.

 

You're not talking about me are you? haha

My relationship is a total mess

But yeah I think friendly, "light" advice is fine and good. What are friends for?

 

I used to, but no longer do. These people don't really want to hear what other people think about their relationships. They usually already know they are in a bad situation they are just to embarrassed to admit it.

The only time I would intervene would be if it was abusive or violent.

 

Within my group of friends we know who to go to depending on what you need. I go to one friend if I just want to someone to bitch to and she will agree with me and get just as angry as I am. I have another one I go to if I just need a hug. Another one if I have a ridiculous stupid thing to laugh about that nobody else will understand. We each have our strong points and we know who to go to depending on what we need at that moment.

I'm the friend they all come to for advice. They know if they are going to come to me I can remove myself from the emotional part of the situation and show them both sides. Sometimes playing devils advocate if need be. I'm a problem solver and they all know that. Sometimes if I know they aren't going to like my advice I will ask them if they really want to hear what I have to say. I don't say what they want to hear. I give my honest opinion. They always say yes. It doesn't always mean they take my advice but they know they will get fair advice from me. If it's someone that isn't in my close circle of friends I don't usually offer advice unless I'm asked for it.

 

nope...i just sit back and enjoy the laughs. reminds me how great my life is

 

how abusive or violent?

and what if you just suspect it's abusive or violent?

I don't know, I guess it depends on who the advice is coming from. i think I would have liked more advice from my friends about my bad relationship, but getting that advice from people who I felt didn't get me or my goals at all, was useless.

 

Does that mean you give advice if they are solicited first?

 

I will at first but if that person doesn't heed my advice and continues to bitch about the same problems I just tell em to STFU.

It's funny how they always agree with my advice 100% and seem determined to follow it, but a month later end up in the same situation because they didn't make any changes.

 

It would depend on the friend and also the situation.

Giving unwanted advice is usually redundant and often causes conflict between friends.

If asked, that is a little different but also must be handled diplomatically.

 

I'm a bartender and if someone wants my opinion I'll give it. Not usually to friends though. He'll it took me 4 years to get out if a toxic relationship, and I'm happier than I've ever been.

 

I agree, tact is the key.
Hey, everyone is posting friendly advice about giving friendly advice

 

If I suspect it, then yeah for sure I would say something.

Once I saw my friends boyfriend walking down the street holding the hand of his ex. I thought about it for a day and then took my friend out for a drink and told her.

However this same girl was constantly getting into relationships with dicky guys and then would complain about it to anyone who would listen. In the end I lost my patience with her and just didn't want to know.

I think if someone asks for advice and then takes it, that's OK. It's the people who constantly ask for advice then don't change anything about their issue. If you don't want to take advice, why ask for it?