Frequently Asked Questions. Amen

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by antiporn, Aug 18, 2005.

  1. antiporn

    antiporn Member

    Please read this page carefully and pay attention as I do not have the patience to answer over and over and over the same questions asked of me before you private message me asking me the same questions. Amen.

    FAQ 1: Why are you such a freak?
    I am sick and tired of this question as it holds no relevant value and no intent other than to ridicule or make fun of me for preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a rebellious and sinful world which seems to be more preoccupied with pornography and homosexuality than with doing the will of God which is preaching the Gospel to ALL THE NATIONS (Matthew 28:19, 20). Amen.

    I may be a simple Godly man but I know sarcasm when I see it and I would just like to ask you if you intend to get lippy with Jesus Christ when he sits at the right hand of God the Father and sees that your name is not written in the Lamb's Book of Life before he boots your smart behind down into the greased slide that empties into HELL. Amen. I do not wish this on you or anyone but God does if you continue to worship SATAN instead of Him. Amen.

    If you ask me this question it will be ignored as irrelevant. Amen.

    FAQ 2: You have a lot to say about the evils of homosexuality. Is it possible you are a repressed homosexual?
    No. Amen. Is it possible you are a repressed Bible-thumping homophobe? Amen.

    FAQ 3: What denomination do you belong to?
    I am a member of the CHRISTIAN denomination of course as all other religions are false religions created by Lucifer to deceive the wicked and the naive into believing that they can be saved by any manner other than being washed in the blood of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior! Amen!

    But if you want to know which Christian denomination I am a member of I will tell you straight out and without hesitation that I am a member of the only one and true Christian denomination which is that of the Duck River Association of Baptist Churches which originated in 1825 from a protest movement within the old Elk River Association of Baptist churches which was not in communion with God's Word as clearly stated in His Holy Bible and therefore in an unrepentant state of APOSTASY. Amen. All churches outside of the 1825 Duck River Association of Baptist Churches are preaching a LIE and will answer for their lies when Jesus Christ sits at the right hand of God the Father and judges the nations but especially the Elk River Association of Baptist Churches which knows the truth but professes to believe a lie. Amen.

    FAQ 4: Okay. So that would rule out the Roman Catholics, the Jews ...
    Of course all so-called religions which do not believe what God has so clearly written in the 1611 A.D. edition of the King James version of the Holy Bible are headed straight to HELL but to a much hotter HELL than the others because they are truly churches of Satan and will sup with him on unrepentant bile in the belly of the beast at the bottom of the lowest lava pit in the SEVENTH HELL. Amen.

    But there is clearly no hope for the Roman Catholics with their ungodly worship of their false WAFER-GOD or of course the Jews with whatever it is they believe as Jesus was the only true Jew and that was only for a short time until He became a Christian when he was born again by being washed in the blood of the lamb which was really Himself and not some old Jewish lamb like those who killed Jesus used to use in the Old Testament which is still part of the Bible only because the New Testament says it is. Amen.

    FAQ 5: Why do you believe that the King James version of the Bible is the only true translation?
    I am sick and tired of these joke questions and this is obviously another one as everyone knows that God wrote ONLY ONE BIBLE and that the only reason the devil would want to write all of these modern per-versions is so that adulterers and sodomites and liberal Democrats can pretend to be Christians while teaching our children it is okay to read Bibles that claim God is a woman and go to churches that teach them that anal sex is okay as long as you wear a condom. Amen. This is a sick sick nation and God will not heal our land until we are all on our knees with our heads bowed and our eyes closed reading the King James version of the Holy Bible which is God's one and only and FINAL Word. Amen.

    FAQ 6: I notice you often trash liberal Democrats. Did you vote for George W. Bush in the 2004 presidential election?
    I voted for Jesus Christ as my write-in candidate as He is the Way the Truth and the Life (John 14:6) and therefore the only Man qualified to lead our sorry country out of the depths of depravity into which it has been driven by a lawless and unrepentant populace who are bound for HELL unless they repent which they will not do as they are too attached to their lusts and their fleshly desserts. Amen.

    FAQ 7: Why would a loving God create hell in the first place?
    "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) Amen.

    FAQ 8: What is the meaning of "777" in your profile? That's kind of weird.
    The name Santa comes from the original Saint Nicholas who was a true Christian before the Romanists used their corrupt pagan influence to turn him into Santa Claus and thus steal the birthday of our Lord and turn it into a day of greed rather than holiness. Amen.

    Christ means anointed and on December 25 1999 I was anointed in a vision by Saint Nicholas to convert the nations beginning with these corrupt United States and continuing until I have converted even the minor countries like Africa or until I die whichever comes first. Amen.

    Just as 666 is the number of the name of the beast who is the Antichrist (Revelation 13:18) the number 777 is the number of the name of Santachrist who is the True Messenger of God who is of course myself who will under the direction of our Lord Jehovah God lead the unrighteous away from the path of the serpent Nahosh and on to the baptism in the blood of the Lamb which is the perfecting of the saints as found in Ephesians 4:12. Amen.

    If you want to call that weird that's up to you but I think I'm going to think you are weird when you're twisting and screeching in HELL because you thought HELL didn't exist when really it was just waiting there all along ready to swallow you like a bug as soon as you keeled over from AIDS or drugs. Amen.

    FAQ 9: Hell sounds pretty bad. What do you think is going to be the worst thing waiting for people who end up in hell? The fire, probably, huh?
    Yes of course the fire will be awful for those who go which won't be me because I've been born again but if I did go to HELL my presence there would be worse than the fire for people like you because I would never stop preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ even in HELL. Amen. But almost as bad as the fire will be all the Asians and Indians and homosexuals and liberals all lined up and yakking at you about their civil rights and about how there is not one true Way but many ways to salvation which is a false belief of course but they will still cling to it to pass the time of which there will be a lot! Amen.

    FAQ 10: Do you have a girlfriend?
    No but unlike the HELLBOUND homosexuals I have a good reason for that as I am waiting for the wife whom Jesus has promised to me in a dream. Amen. Her name is Alicia Jo Petersen and she currently resides in Empire Wisconsin and works in a fast-food restaurant so if anyone who is reading this lives in Empire Wisconsin please find Alicia for me as I do not have a car and her phone number is apparently unlisted so please give her my contact information ( Amen.

  2. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

  3. HippyLandscaper

    HippyLandscaper learning a new way

    Doesn't the lord teach you patience? Would this supossed Alicia Jo Peterson be as perfect as you? Listen, obviuosly you have read the bible, so do you remember what happened when moses got to cocky? Alot of bad shit. You need to quit jacking off to gay porn. We might all be sinners, but at least we are real. You are the biggest sinner of us all. Your lies and deceitfulness are going to damn you to a naughty place where you and Alicia Jo Peterson are going to get fucked in the ass 10 times a day. False prophets trying to lead gods children astray.
  4. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    did you HAVE to include his entire post to comment on his last statement?
  5. purple-moss

    purple-moss Member

    dude need to get laid...
  6. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    me? well, yes, but why do you say that?
  7. purple-moss

    purple-moss Member

    well if he (anti-poo) has this much time to think up and write this crap...then you know he has no sex life.....or desire for
  8. purple-moss

    purple-moss Member

    you know i tried that pickup line does not really work to well..
  9. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    what are you talking about? I follow you everywhere!!!!
  10. BlackVelvet

    BlackVelvet Members

    I read your post..One thing that bothers me is when you say "your church" is the only ones going to heaven, and all of the other churches are going to hell..It says in the bible that there will be a lot of people entering the kingdom of heaven, way more than are going to hell..and according to you, anyone who isn't going to church (But of course only YOUR church is going to heaven) will go to hell as that means..there are MORE people in your church then there are say..worldwide people? ..also, why do all religious zealots haveta be so anal? You are talking about smart asses before God and Jesus..yet, aren't you being a smart ass in this post? Be sure to let us know if you meet this Alicia person..AMEN.
  11. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

    You look like a serial killer....Anyone named "Alicia Jo Peterson" is not safe....:D

    Seriously, you are a liar. You say you have never had an erection. That is medically impossible, unless you don't actually have a working penis and testicles. So, according to Kirk Cameron, my hero, you are a liar and therefore a sinner.
  12. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    Kirk is your hero? where do I rank then?
  13. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

    Just below chocolate cake, and above Mel Brooks.
  14. 121

    121 Senior Member

    Why do holy people post this stuff on here? They always have less that 50 posts too. It's like theres a secret cult that wants to convert everyone on hipforums. There must be loads of religious chatrooms online. That just won't be enough will it? They'll get bored because they all believe in the same thing. Then they venture out onto regular websites/forums and start preaching. OMFG! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM NON BELIEVERS?
  15. Oz!

    Oz! Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    who asked these questions?

    or are ya lying to try and get your points accross?

    *patiently awaits the "i asked antiporn that question" posts in this thread...

    come on now...don't be shy...those are good questions :D
  16. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    jeez, so many of you are taking this person so seriously. c'mon, santachrist? hello, it's a joke
  17. nitemarehippygirl

    nitemarehippygirl Senior Member

  18. purple-moss

    purple-moss Member

    this is serious....[​IMG]
  19. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    I'll serious you! *shakes fist*
  20. purple-moss

    purple-moss Member

    no need to get violent now....calm down...breath....get nakid[​IMG]

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