Found The Man of My Dreams.. HELP!!

Discussion in 'True Love' started by Lainey, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Lainey

    Lainey Member

    So every girl has this beautiful envision of the man that is perfect in every way.
    She might call him her soul mate, or just the 'man of her dreams'. Usually it ends there, and she doesnt even look for him because she doesnt truely believe he exists.
    Well i was on the verge of believing this too.
    But then somebody added me on myspace..
    And sure enough, he was that man.
    I mean.. every single detail i could go on about him that is exactly what I want..
    perfect body
    perfect hair and face
    4 years older than me (he's 21)
    musician (his lyrics are absolutely perfect, his favorite band is my favorite The Vines, which is not common, he's the lead singer of a band and plays guitar and i loove the music..)
    He's a virgin (doesnt get any hotter than that)

    I even told him how I fealt about him. He didn't freak out like I thought he would. He thought it was kinda cool. He actually liked me a lot too. He tells me im the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. He loves to talk to me and we do all the time with webcam.


    After telling him about my sexual past he lost that interest. He said I wasnt what he thought i was..
    (He's saving sex untill marraige)
    I was so sad after his let down i just got offline and started crying.
    The next day he had sent me emails with naked pictures of himself (which no girl had ever seen) saying he was so sorry and he didnt want me to be sad and that he loved our conversations and didnt want them to stop..

    So we continued to have our talks which mostly consisted of Romeo and Juliet "I love your eyebrow; i just want to touch you" crap.

    I dont understand why he wants to persue these talks, when they don't actually mean that to him. He said he wants to have sex with me, but it is all an act.
    Maybe he feels this way, but only as a fantasy.

    I am willing to do anything for this man.
    He is possibly the kindest man I've ever met as far as giving me attention and telling me how beautiful I am. At leaste, that i feel the same respects for.

    So I decided I would do what i had to do to win his love..
    So instead of running from him afraid to get hurt, i just keep 'playing along'.
    And as an ultimate sacrafice, I've chosen to give up sex.
    I told him that there where was nothing I could do to take back my past, and i honestly probably wouldnt if i could, but He had inspired me to give it up untill marraige.
    He seemed like he was proud of my decision, but didn't seem to have any more interest in me still.

    I'm wondering if I should continue my dedication..

    ..or will I be wasting my life away?

    This is hard for me because he is so perfect, and I am afraid I will never find another man like him. I don't want to blow my possibilities..

    help. PLEASE!
  2. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    Well, what do you need us for? Talk to him on myspace. Find other ways of communicating with him. If this is EXACTLY what you want then go get it. Much luck:)
  3. Lainey

    Lainey Member

    sorry i was in the middle of editing my post while u replied
  4. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    Oops, sorry. I was wondering why you even bothered to ask for help. anyway, let me read your post again before saying anything.
  5. indian~summer

    indian~summer yo ho & a bottle of yum

    yes, you need to talk to him...there's nothing any of us can do in this situation
    think inside if this is really what you want, follow your heart
    but be cynicism coming out have me a little skeptical about this whole thing...i dunno...
    ~good luck~
  6. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    I don't know where to begin...

    Ummm....okay let's start with your last two sentences:
    You're right about that. You definitely will never find another like him because each man is unique. But you might find a better man than him. Then again, maybe you won't.

    You said you talked to him about your sexual past, how did you tell him that? Was it very detailed? How many previous lovers have you had? I know I feel uncomfortable discussing past sexual encounters with my fiance, but not to the point where I feel like she's not the woman I thought she was. I dunno...maybe because he's a virgin and you're not and he was kinda hoping for someone who's also saving herself for marriage...

    I don't know how to help you except tell you that you need to talk to him before making a decision.
  7. Lainey

    Lainey Member

    I dont exactly remember how the conversation came about, but i think he asked me how many guys i had slept with and how many times i had sex.
    (which.. eheh.. im not going there in this thread) ..

    I'm afraid to talk to him because I am afraid he will tell me that it would never happen. . and id rather make it happen without him seeing it coming
  8. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    Well, your fear is understandable because he means a lot to you...but you do realize that at some point you will have to talk to him, don't you? Love requires courage.
  9. Lainey

    Lainey Member

    But im too stubborn. If he really is who i think he is, he'll come to me.
    Thing is id wait a lifetime if i thought it was possible
  10. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    "If he really is who I think he is, he'll come to me" Sounds rather unrealistic to me.

    Okay here's what I think: you think you've found the man of your dreams, but you haven't. You just found a man who very closely resembles the man of your dreams. But he's not. He's real; the man of your dreams is not. Now, through some coincidence or twist of fate or divine whatever-you-may-call-it, this real man has almost, if not all of the qualities you've been searching for, which is why you say he is the man you've been dreaming of. But he's not. Because the man of your dreams wouldn't have reacted negatively to your revelation of your sexual past and he certainly would have made a move by now. But this real man did react negatively and he hasn't made his move. That is the difference between the dream man and the real man.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue him, I'm just saying if he really means that much to you, you need to see and deal with him as his own person and not as the ideal dream man that you think he is. And if this real man will not come to you, but you really want him, then don't waste time waiting for him to fulfill your dream by making the first move. Either go after him, talk to him and risk losing him, or don't do anything and still risk losing him at the end. It's great that he very closely resembles your dream man because not everyone is lucky enough to have that, but it's time to get real and let the dream go.
  11. Lainey

    Lainey Member

    thanks appreciate it : )
  12. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    No problem. Hope it all works out. I love happy endings:)
  13. Lainey

    Lainey Member

    i think im going to be sick
  14. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    What happened? Wanna talk about it? You can PM me if you like.
  15. dances in pajamas

    dances in pajamas strange little girl

    He seems like he wants to be appealing to you, but you need to let him know that he doesn't need to be something he's not or talk to you about things he doesn't mean. I'm not sure why you're gonna be sick, but I hope nothing too bad happened. :(
  16. dangermoose

    dangermoose Is a daddy

    Now THAT, was an awesome post.
  17. Lainey

    Lainey Member

    yeah i know. i knew that from the begining then i got carried away. but. i kinda forgot about it and so just ignore this thread. lol. sorry i move on fast... :spider:
  18. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    Well, I'm glad you're okay.:)
  19. Cutted

    Cutted Cutted

    Lainey - you are 17, he is 21, and you are carrying on a torrid internet romance. Have you actually met him face to face? That is key to the success of your romance. And 17 is too young to make long term plans.

    Any romance has several stages - the initial exhilaration (the crush), the finding fault stage (we all have them), and the breakup or acceptance of faults stage. And then you either move on or build a long term relationship.

    But you must actually meet him and touch him first.
  20. Lainey

    Lainey Member

    there are some things only girls can get across to eachother

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