Formerly straight?

As a bi man who has had Long term relationships with both, I would completely disagree with that from my perspective. There is no reason why two men or two women can not provide eachother with the same amount of emotional and spiritual support as a man and a woman.
I was previously married to a woman for 10 years, I'm now married to A guy, we have been together nearly 30 years. I get as much emotional and spiritual support from him as I did from her.
I've had three relationships with women and this was and is my first MM relationship. He has far more empathy and patience than any of my previous FM relationships.

 

Interesting, and I totally agree with what you say.
Having been with the same guy for 30 years (and now married to him), do you now consider yourself to be strictly a gay man, or do you still find women to be sexually attractive? How does your husband identify his sexual orientation? I realize gay marriage was the right option for you and your husband (30 years together is a long time. Congratulations!).
I know it's not that uncommon for bisexual people to end up in same-sex relationships, but same-sex marriage amongst bisexual people is probably more rare.
After being with women,What was it that made you decide marrying another guy was the best option/decision for you?
In case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a very curious person. LOL.
I'm also a bisexual married guy (to a woman). Prior to meeting my wife, I only had one serious MM relationship in my 20s (I'm 42 now), though I've had a few fwbs and several hook ups with other guys. Before that one "gay relationship" I had 3 different relationships with females, but it always kinda felt like something was "missing" in those relationships.
The first time kissing and touching another guy's cock felt totally natural, and gave me "butterflies" that I hadn't felt with females to that point in my life. Like it was meant to be. During that one and only same-sex relationship, I was totally happy, satisfied and fulfilled, so much so that I didn't think about or desire women at all. That relationship only ended because he moved away for a job. I'm not gonna lie, he made me feel so special and happy that I definitely questioned my sexual orientation for a while after it ended. Could I actually be gay? No. I'm totally bisexual.
I met my wife 2 years later. I'm still bisexual (and a total bottom with guys), and so is my wife. Her and I have had lots of same-sex fun with others, and despite being married, that doesn't change the fact that we're both bisexual.

 

As a bisexual guy, I've never thought of myself as being "straight." Like you, I also watch gay, bi (MMF) and transgender porn. For me anyways, the cock is where it's at when watching porn. As a long-time DL (diaper lover), I also occasionally watch ABDL porn. When watching ABDL porn, it doesn't matter to me if it's women or men.
There are times when my wife says she thinks I'm "more gay than straight", but that's not true. I'm just a bisexual guy who's married to a woman, and I happen to enjoy watching gay, bi (MMF), transgender and ABDL porn

 

Im in my 50s and for 40 years never had a thought about being bi/cd but now I am very sexually turned on by cock to the point of probably spending on average 3/4 of the day thinking about it. And not just cock but also Crossdressing and feminism with growing my nipples and breasts. Never in a million years.

 

I've had and continue to have a lifelong topsy-turvy relationship with my sexuality. I've gone from thinking I'm straight, to bicurious, then bi-confused for a very long time, then bisexual, and now mostly gay. But as I explore below, I think the mostly gay was there all along, since birth.

I've always been strongly attracted to girls and women, but the vast majority of them throughout my 61 years of life rejected my "advances" (asking girls to dance in school and bars, asking girls & women for dates, and asking women for a second date should we have had a first). Rejection from the female sex from 8 years of age to 57, when I gave up on women.

But I had a lot of sex with my best male friend for six years before high school, though I never thought of myself as gay--I never even heard of the concept. In fact, after that relationship ended, rather badly, I never had a single thought about a guy sexually or romantically, except for a little bit of sexual feelings for a guy in my swim class in high school once, which I never really acknowledged to myself until over 40 years later.

Finally at 27 a woman made a pass at me and I finally had kissing and then sex with a woman for the first time! She became my girlfriend, but broke up with me 3 times over three years. The third time was so hard that I had a breakdown and went on the road for 5 months around Canada and United States. 3+ months in, all of a sudden, while driving in Washington state, gay thoughts were coming up in my mind, and they haven't stopped since. That started oral sex with over 200 guys for the next 21 years, but, very strangely, almost always when I was naked in front of a guy I lost all gay desire, but still had oral sex with him out of kindness. Back at home all the gay desires came flooding back always. During that whole time I was still looking for sex with women, romance with women, hopefully a girlfriend and eventually a wife, children, and the white picket fence. But nothing but rejection after rejection came. Every rejection spurred huge gay desires and fantasies and gay porn in me and eventually drove me out to the bathhouses and other gay sex venues to fulfil my overwhelming desires and fantasies for everything gay, only to lose that desire when I was in front of a guy every time (except for 5-6 exceptions). Throughout all this I identified as bi-confused rather than bisexual. Wouldn't you?

Eventually my anal desires were fulfilled, though, when I lost my gay virginity (as a top, and as an adult--i.e.not counting the childhood sex) with a guy at 51. It was the greatest sexual experience of my life and changed everything for me. I did not lose my desire for this guy whatsoever during our encounter. On the contrary, my desires for him were off the chart: I had a sexual desire that was out of this world, a ferocious hunger for his body. Afterwards, I finally accepted my bisexuality, and loved it immensely. I felt so happy to be able to say, I am bisexual, I am a bisexual man. From then on I've never lost my desire when I was with a guy, usually in each other's home.

Attraction to women continued, but I didn't bother pursuing them anymore. My second girlfriend, at 54, just happened, and we had amazing sex all the time during most of our on and off, roller coaster 3-year relationship: she also broke up with me many times during those three years. Each rejection led to huge amounts of gay porn. But she always crawled back to me, and I always stupidly let her. But in the last few months our relationship was not good and had deteriorated to just friends with benefits. By that time I was unable to orgasm during sexual intercourse without thinking that I was fucking a guy. My gay desires were in overdrive. When I finally broke it off with her just before the pandemic hit, I had no desire to ever be with a woman again, and I haven't been, and that wish hasn't changed. I'm only interested in sex and even finally romance with guys (I've actually fallen for 2 guys so far, though unrequited).

I'm also part of a large gay social group that gets together every week at least, and I feel so at home in their company. They feel like my people. I now identify as mostly gay, though my desire towards women is still strong, but I have no desire to actually have a sexual or romantic relationship with any (certainly more serious relationships with women are impossible, because I can't be without men, and I will never cheat). So yes, I am bisexual, but quite far towards the gay end of the spectrum.

And after having done quite a bit of self analysis and therapy, I now believe that that has always been the case: I've always been mostly gay and I believe my heterosexual desires have partly been society's programming in me. I have just had powerful internalized homophobia at the unconscious level throughout my life. Part of my mind just could not handle the truth about my near homosexuality, so it strongly repressed it. For some strange reason, anal sex with a guy was the catalyst for me to begin to accept and eventually rejoice in my bisexuality-homosexuality. It was the intimacy with another man that intercourse brought that allowed me to feel, and connect with him, and that broke the dam.

So now, at 61, I look forward to at least making up for lost time in the gay bedroom, and at least get a close gay friend with benefits. If love comes, we'll see. My two serious relationships don't give me a lot of confidence with those kinds of relationships, so I don't know. But man to man sex can be out of this world.

 

There are women out there who not only are ok with bi guys, but enthusiastic about it! You just have to look harder and in the right places.
I wish I would have known to go to Renaissance fairs, comic cons, board game and role play gaming groups when I was single. And known about polyamory meetup groups. I let a bi ex GF get away by not fighting harder for her when she broke up with me for being to serious minded relationship wise with her. We had electric sexual chemistry, getting together for a couple of years. I should have shared with her my bi interests, as I'm sure she would've been ok with it at the very least,and likely happy about it from the signs and clues I missed in hindsight.
If you prefer a woman, as I do, don't give up on it,but don't give up on your enjoyment of men either. You can have both!

 

Thanks, @Suburnbanray! Maybe you're right. Maybe I still like girls, and would enjoy a bisexual female fuck buddy to play with now and again, with herself only interested in casual sex with guys and girls like I am, nothing serious, just lots of fun sex with cock and pussy for both of us, and is turned on that I love sex with guys so much, like I would be turned on with how much she adores sex with other girls.

 

Looking back, I suppose I have always had some bisexual tendencies. Even as a teen I thought about what it must be like to suck on a guys cock. I believe sexuality to be a continuum, over time those thoughts became more and more frequent and prevalent. Being married as a young man I did my best to suppress them. Sex was good with my wife and we had lots of it. But even then those bisexual thoughts would surface, until I finally gave into them “just once” to get it out of my system. Well that opened a Pandora’s box, you know the saying “you can’t have just one”. That proved itself true in my case, once I had a man’s cock in my mouth giving him pleasure I haven’t been able to ignore those cravings.

 

I too opened Pandora's box and eventually accepted the fact that I enjoy sucking cock and it's OK that I enjoy doing so. My wife is well aware of my activities but not a single one of our friends would expect that I suck cock and enjoy doing so on a regular basis with my "bud" of close to 15 years.

 

i think your spot on, im a true 50\50 bi. a straight person doesn't turn gay, and a gay person doesn't turn straight. there are 6 billion people on earth i would say all of them are a little different from everyone else. meaning any and every sexual connection you can have will be different. and those that are open to it will have double the chances to find a partner that is your match.