Formerly straight?

Any gay guys out there who used to be straight? How did you end up being gay? I am married to a woman and was straight when I did so. I had the occasional gay fantasy and chats on AOL but I did not consider that a defining part of my sexuality. That was 20 years ago. These days I find women as attractive as ever and I have anal only sex with my wife. I have no interest in touching, licking, or fucking her pussy. I am only interested in sex with men otherwise. Gay fantasies masturbating. Watch only gay porn and read gay erotica. I love cock and ass.

 

I believe I started off heterosexual as a teenager. In my early twenties I began to deal with attractions to the same sex. If I were in a more supportive environment maybe I would've realized I was bisexual back then. It took me several years to get to that acceptance.

 

I'm a "bisexual" married guy. I have never been straight, though I have much more experience (when it comes to relationships and sex) with women.

I've only had 1 serious romantic/intimate gay relationship... But that 1 real gay relationship made me realize I can be just as happy/satisfied/fulfilled in a relationship with another man as I've ever been with a woman... And yes, that includes my wife.

I can honestly say that when I was in that gay relationship (for almost 3 years), I never thought about, fantasized (or even masturbated for that matter) about wanting to be with a female. I was 100% committed to my exboyfriend. He made me so happy and made me feel complete (able to be totally true and authentic to myself... my true feelings).

Ironically, I can't say the same is true with any serious romantic/intimate relationship I've ever had with women. Again, this goes for my marriage as well. I obviously love my wife, and she's always been "my rock"... But in every intimate relationship I've ever had with women, there has always been something missing... And that's the really close intimacy/romance I NEED/crave and desire with men. That is a very big NEED/part of me that no woman can provide/fulfill for me (yes, my wife included).

I can confidently say that if anything happened to my marriage, and it was "beyond repair", I would only persue/truly want romantic/intimate/sexual relationships with men, and no longer persue any intimate/romantic relationships with women. In an ideal world, I'd be able to maintain my marriage and also be allowed to persue a serious gay relationship with another man, and try to keep the 2 relationships totally seperate from one another (if that's even possible. One can dream/fantasize, right?). Unfortunately, there's very little chance of that happening, because my wife is totally against me doing anything with another guy unless she's also physically involved to some degree as well... Which isn't what I want, at all. I'm not interested at all in sharing another guy with my wife, as I NEED one-on-one intimacy/romance with another man way too much. That need/craving/desire has nothing to do with my wife, and that's the way prefer to keep it. That NEED/desire is about me, NOT her... Though I would be interested in sharing my wife with a top bisexual guy (if that makes any sense).

I really think I might be on the "bi now, gay later" plan/path (if I'm not already there).

 

As soon (if) this Covid thing is over and I lose more weight, I am looking to heavily pursue meeting another man for a relationship. My wife has given me her blessing. We enjoy intimacy and anal sex but the front of her body no longer holds attraction for me. She knows I need a man's body to fulfill me sexually. She is the one I will come home to though. It is not just about sex with a man, I would like to have feelings for him too.

 

Very well said

 

I was strait until I sucked my friends cock when I was very young. Been Bi since and have enjoyed it.

 

For the first 30 years of my life I was a heterosexual man obsessed with the female body and what it provides a man. Then something happened to the sex life with my then wife. The sex was fabulous, what I mean is she began to periodically loose interest for months at a time to once again return craving to have sex multiple times a week. Her loss of interest began to lengthen in time over the years and I found myself masturbating far more often than I was wanting to. Then I was offered a blow job from a gay man and being sexually frustrated I accepted. After that first male blow job I began viewing porn differently, seeking out any porn that involved either a man or a woman sucking a sexy cock to jerk off too. It was also at this time that my "cock fetish" started. For the first time I was becoming attracted to a man's cock, wanting to touch one, wanting to suck on one. Being sexually frustrated by my wife I sought out men for mutual sucking and found out how much I enjoy it. I still craved a woman's body for sex but now I also was craving a nice cock to suck on during those times my wife was refraining from sex. Eventually throughout that 25 year marriage I was having far more oral sex with other men then having sex with my wife. The last four years of that marriage had no sexual activity between us and I was only having oral sex with other married men in the same situation several times a week. I'm remarried and some years ago she and I agreed that I am bisexual and she's accepted it, encourages it, and at times is involved. My present wife also knows I enjoy sucking a cock more than eating a pussy so I believe I am really leaning closer to gay than bisexual even though my wife and I have a healthy sex life together.

 

I have been with many women and very few men. I was always more intimate with a woman than with a man. The vast majority of my life sex with a man was just sex. But after cross dressing and letting the female energy out and transitioning I have totally let go of all my hang ups about being with a man. I never kissed a man or let him hold me until recently. I had secretly wanted to feel what a woman feels and I now believe I have felt as much as I can and I love it.

 

Holy shit ... Did you crawl into my head???

 

I don't think that it's an either/or dichotomy, but a continuum. Where you land on the continuum is more fluid than many people think.

 

Felt straight until HS when I let the boy who had the hots for me kiss me and give me head and I sucked his dick as well. At 18 was my 1st gay sex and I bottomed but wasn't until 23-24 I really explored my gay side and really accepted and embraced that I am not bi that I am fully gay and a total bottom!

 

I don't think any "straight" guys suddenly become gay. There's a good chance he was always gay and just pretending to be "straight" for whatever reason

 

You either are (and were), or you aren't. Being gay isn't a "choice." No more than being straight or bisexual is.
I don't think it would be uncommon for some bisexual guys (especially bottoms) to question their sexuality from time to time and wonder if they might be gay or not, but in the end, if they are still sexually attracted to women, then nope, they are still bisexual even if they have a preference for cock.
As a bisexual (bottom), I've had a few different gay men try to convince me to "switch teams" permanently by telling me that I "was gay all along", and that only another guy's cock would/will make me truly happy. Sorry, but that's not how this works. Although I'm a bi bottom (and sexually submissive with guys), and enjoy cock as much as the next bi/gay guy, I still love women (specifically my wife)

 

I fully agree with you. I've had a secret oral relationship with a man for almost 14 years now, it was only about three years ago that our wives' have been involved and both of our marriages have bonded better as we regularly have sex with each other. I started my journey with gay men and was always being pressured to leave women, I can't do that as I enjoy both pussy and cock. He and I are lucky to have wives that enjoy and encourage our bisexuality. It's turns them both on to see us together knowing that the two of us are going to provide them with two cocks at the same time.

 

I responded to one of those "Free Trial 0ffers", forgot to cancel my subscription, now here we are.

 

I have an online bi friend, who challenged my opinion that I wasn't bi romantic. Every single other piece of advice he's given has been spot on except this. Or I should say he disagreed that I wasn't capable of being bi romantic, and that you never know if someone will come along that changes your view on it. That statement makes sense from a pure generic logic standpoint, but I've spent enough time pondering this over the years. Especially in my early to mid twenties, struggling as to why I was interested in men sexually,but nothing more. Back when bisexuality in men wasn't discussed much, viewed as just a waypoint on the way to admitting you were fully gay, and not liking women.
But I've always strongly liked women, emotionally and sexually, and that has never waivered, nor will ever change. I learned to just drop that very specific topic with that friend to avoid arguing. I can only see men as friends, hopefully close friends, sharing a male bond, but not as lovers, or living with a man romantically.

Has anyone else been pressed by a bi man about this topic? Some day I might see myself prefering seeking sex with a man over a woman, but only from it being a logistical and emotional hurdle with women requiring way more effort?

 

I could never see myself having a relationship with a man like I do with my wife. My wife provides me with the emotional and spiritual purpose I feel I can only get from a woman. We need each other to get through each day as we support each other in ways only a man and a woman can provide each other. The men in my life provide one thing and one thing only, lustful sex on demand.

 

I look forward to have sex with a guy someday, and I guess I wouldn't resist a romance developing with a guy if it were to start. But I'm not looking forward to it and I'm not lifting a finger to make it happen.

 

I think it's highly unlikely that there's many (if any) gay guys who are "formally straight." Heterosexual guys don't "turn" gay.
As a bisexual guy myself, I have never been "straight." Yes, I married a woman, and I love my wife very much. That still doesn't make me straight. My wife is also bisexual, so she isn't straight either.
As a bi bottom guy, I've had a few different gay guys try to convince me to "switch teams" permanently by them saying things like "you were gay all along" or that only another guy could make me "truly happy." That's NOT true at all.
While I've never been "straight", I'm NOT gay either. I'm just a bisexual guy who loves women and cock.