Are you a forgiving person OR is forgiveness something that you really struggle with OR maybe you don't believe in forgiveness (at least in relation to certain transgressions). Let's hear it!
I am a forgiving person. However, if someone continually sets out to upset me, I have to draw a line.
After a century of concerted efforts, nobody has ever managed to document the existence of common sense anywhere in the world. Meaning that the half of the world that insists life must make some sort of sense, are all insane according to the evidence. Usually I'm a bit slow, but ever since I was three years old it was obvious to me that this was the case, and forgiving them for being the insane idiots they are is redundant. Half of life is just showing up, while the other half is learning what to ignore, including idiots who have no clue what forgiveness means.
I can be very forgiving at times and other times very unforgiving. Depends, most times i have an understanding of why a person reacted negatively towards me which makes forgiving easier. Most times a person doesn't have to apologize for any wrong doing to me but it does help if they are sincere in their apologies. If i feel they are being insincere in their apologies then that may actually make things worse.
forgiving to me is accepting the idea that nothing anyone does to me is actually about me, it's about them. so i guess "not forgiving" would mean still being angry, holding a grudge, or at least holding onto the idea that they had hurt me. we don't have to be friends with people just because we forgive them. i think forgiving is for the person doing the forgiving, not the wrongdoer.
For me forgiveness works best when I can empathise with the person or persons that have wronged me, if I can achieve that I probably can forgive (sometimes quite quickly), with age and life experience this is definitely something that has started to come easier.....when I was a bit younger I used to hold a grudge like a motherfucker!
I forgive people for mistakenly forgiving me for all the wrong reasons. If you have hated the mindless masses, the lowly drunks in the gutter, and the insane politicians and assholes in this world, send your donations today and I will forgive anyone you want forgiven, including myself. Forgiving people is a long lost art, and requires practice. Do not attempt this at home without your doctor's permission.
I've always been a very forgiving person. You can do the worst thing to me, and I just treat you like nothing happened. So I am actually making an effort to be less forgiving. Like my sister says, if you act like a doormat, people will just walk all over you. She's one of the people who will walk all over you. I don't think I can act like everything's all right anymore. I'll still be decent to people who wrong me outwardly, but in my mind, it's all over. I've been through enough to realize that people just aren't as good as I once thought they were. People are, by and large, stupid assholes, in fact.
Civilization makes plastic rubber trees look organic and Three Stooges slapstick look like a quaint family tradition. If society becomes anymore rootless and out of touch with reality they'll implode. Its not individuals that are the problem, but what kind of insanity they cook up in large numbers. Being rootless, their collective ignorance knows no limits.
I think its sort of funny (odd, not necessarily amusing - but @wooleeheron that was a very funny post about how you'll forgive anybody for donations. ) that I saw this thread just now. Last night/evening I went to my local Family Dollar store, where I go EVERY WEEK to get paper products and some cleaning products. as well as very reasonably priced 100% natural kitty litter. I usually go in the day time, but because my mother now wears crazy pants ALL the time, I went last night because she is less likely to decide to go outside and let the cats out. ANYWAY, I wound up having a sort of run-in with this bitch cashier. It literally began from the time I entered the store and I asked if there were any buggies in the store, and she acted like she didn't understand me (I speak very clearly) so I then repeated myself and enunciated VERY CLEARLY...to which she responded rather rudely. This continued when I went back up front to find out if there were any buggies YET...to which she clearly had a problem telling me "well, uh, thar's one over thar"...and on through the time I checked out. I was so put out with her that I not only informed some other people working there after she checked me out, but I also filed an online complaint against her - Tiffany is her name. After trying to chat her up at the check-out (she was having NONE of it), I told her I was a regular shopper there, I knew others that worked there and had NEVER seen her act like this. I was truly trying to give her a chance to say something - Oh, sorry...I'm having a bad night...I don't know WHY you'd say that..JUST SOMETHING. However, again, she said nothing, but I could see her rolling her eyes. I said "well, perhaps it would be best, or you think it would be best if I shopped elsewhere." Now, for the first time since this long check out process began the bitch says "whatever you want." So...when I say "maybe it would be best if I shop elsewhere, or you think it would be best?", and she replies "whatever you want", she is dumb on top of being a bitch if she thought I wouldn't report her every way I could. I don't really know about this forgiving thing - I don't guess I'll have a hard time forgiving her - but for damn sure I won't be forgetting this. In fact, I called the store today, just to keep everything in line - as I told the supervisor I spoke to at the store I had reported her (Tiffany) online, so to maintain honesty/full disclosure I was calling the store to let them know. I further told her I didn't really want her fired, but she DID need to comprehend how to work with the public since she is a cashier, and telling someone "whatever you want" when they say "perhaps I should shop elsewhere" IS NOT what a cashier should say. If nothing else, she could have kept rolling her eyes and kept her mouth shut...which is another think I felt I should share with the supervisor I talked with today. lol I told this supervisor, that since I was not trying to get her fired, but a reprimand and a bit of advise on customer service would be in order - I still did not want to ever deal with Tiffany again, and I would be calling there to find out if Tiffany was working before I came. Now that I have all of this typed out...it sure is long. lol but I'll be damned if I'm going to not post it or backspace and figure out what I can take out.
It took me many years to let go of all the anger and malice I had harboured for so long. I truly believe forgiveness sets you free of the weight of disappointment.
**** I've tried to edit several mistakes I see I made. (inevitably) I WILL make mistakes but am unable to see them until after I click "post reply"...but apparently hf likes it just the way it is. gad
