For the brave only: your most spectacular disaster

Let's confess that time when we caused a lot of trouble, chaos and possibly damage without even intending so. Terrible fuck-ups, calamitous occurrences and general mayhem during which we managed to make complete asses of ourselves , regardless of actual guilt, leaving everyone in a puddle of misery and disarray.
Come on , don't be shy if the statute of limitations covers your back, of course. I have my own little tale that will be revealed only if the thread will reach a satisfactory amount of records about hilarious, noxious, disgraceful events, or as we call them, figure di merda !

 

I egged A McDonald’s where i used to work when I was 16. I felt pretty stupid afterwards

 

I have those times but if I listed all of them some smart ass is just going to write tldr

 

You could do them one at a time, like I was planning to do. To keep the momentum of the thread going between all the better behaved people who only need one post.

 

I once overturned a row of planters of flowers that were attached to the top of a metal fence. Council maintained. Just very drunk and how easily they came off was satisfying but very much regret.

That's a pretty tame one : ) I don't know how brave I am. Good thread idea, jagerhands.

 

OK we're being shy I see. So far no one can top my deed. Go on fellows. it's gonna be so much fun.

 

In actuality, I probably have a much less checkered past than some here. I've only spent one night in jail.

 

I could list a few. But in terms of my "worst"?
Probably shagging a married man while his wife phoned him to ask what he wanted for dinner. She literally never had a clue what so ever. Half of me was just feeling so much guilt and felt sorry for her it proper put a downer on me wanting to see him after that. She was really lovely though its what stuck in my mind, like how the F are you cheating on her dude.

 

nah, I did that too. Not really a disaster. a bloody shame maybe but it's not even nearly as graphic as needed

 

This is not a sophisticated comedy, fellas; it's more like an action/disaster movie

 

To help you get in the mood nothing better than some good ol' music.

 

I'm not brave enough. But i have purposely written out fraudulent checks as well as stolen money from people when i was younger. I was good at shoplifting too. Grocery stores mainly. Now i wouldn't even try it. I assume most have done such things one time or another.

 

i probably have several, but i probably did them in such a state that i don't remember much of them.

really, i can't think of anything that really qualifies right now. i'm going to keep an eye on this thread and hopefully someone else's story sparks my memory.

 

I dunno really. I've had lots of stupid adventures that could have ended very badly but somehow they didnt. My friend and I always called it gypsy luck. We just sort of went into a lot of situations blind but with 100% certainty that it would be fun and we would live to tell the tale and somehow it always was and we always did.

 

When I was a teen I had sex with a friend's wife (she was 26. ) Then later on I had sex with a friend's little sister. Then later on I told a 17 yo girl that I worked with that I loved her so she'd come home with me. She got really drunk and we had sex. Then later on I had sex with a friend's girlfriend while he ran for more beer. Basically, don't hang around me unless you want to have sex.

 

I walked past this industrial building once which was emitting a strong odor of smoke, but I didn’t call 911.

The fire must have been in the smoldering stage, because 30 minutes later the building went up in a blaze. Turned out to be a three-alarm fire. No one was hurt because the building was empty,
and no fire fighters were injured, but a lot of people lost their jobs.

I still feel guilty even though a hundred other people also walked past the building and none of them called 911 either - although once the actual fire was visible, someone did call 911.

 

I was driving to work down a two lane country road, when I drove past a woman getting her mail out of her mailbox, which was across the street from her house. It was a busy two lane country road, with ditches on both sides, and as I drove past I was shocked to see the woman had left her toddler, maybe two years old, across the street standing in the driveway. The baby was crying for her mother as the cars drove past and I would have turned around right there and bitched her out royally, but I was late for work and there was nowhere to even turn around for miles. I told myself some local would say something to her or I would say something the next time I saw her, and continued on to work, but the next day I heard on the radio that a toddler was killed by a hit and run driver on that very road.

I probably would have been fired from my job and the local redneck cops would likely have never left me alone afterwards, but I regret not turning around and making the effort. The locals were often so isolated they believed ghosts walked the woods just outside of town, and it was like living in another century, but I didn't do what I really felt like doing and still regret it. My father is my personal hero, in part, because he has a heart and stands up for what he knows deep down matters. He's an asshole in many ways, and as conservative and stupid as they come, but his heart speaks louder than his words.

Getting in people's faces is normally the last thing I will ever do, but there are times when we must all do what we don't want to do, and my father taught me to be a man and do what must be done when it comes to children especially.

 

Police towed my buds car in 1984,, I was 14yr old,, a 16yr old influenced me to steal the car from the pound/ a lot behind a manned fire station and we did.. We pushed it out and then drove it away in the alley. The cops was looking for him the next day.. They was mad as hell. Tried to yell shit at me cause he was my friend but they couldnt do anything to me. But it was rather harmless impo now...

 

I've always lived a rather charmed life. I've gotten away with so many things that it's ridiculous. One thing that comes to mind happened in 1970. An earthquake hit the mountains of Peru and about 100,000 folks perished. I was deployed there to turn a dirt road into a runway to bring in supplies and evacuate injured. During the construction we were air dropping food and supplies and I was distributing it to the local folks.

The Peruvian military came in and a Peruvian general told me that I was to give him the relief supplies coming so he could be in charge of distributing them. I had already seen that he had taken some of the tents and C-Rations that the United States had airdropped and his military was using them so I told him, "no". Now I was only a 22 Y/O Staff Sergeant but the Peruvian military rank used strips for their officers and I think he thought I was a very young, but higher ranking than I was. And, since I was in charge of the US operation there, I could see his mistaken thought.

He managed to notify the US Embassy in Lima and a day later an Army Colonel got off of one of the landing C-130's in his starched uniform and carrying one of those pointer sticks. I remember the cocky look on his face as he asked who was in charge. I told him I was. Now I had been there for about two weeks without having shaved, or even bathed for that matter. There were no facilities. I can only imagine how I must have appeared to him.

Now the unwritten rule was that the only thing coming in were supplies and the only thing going out were injured. So this jerk had taken space in the plane that, on the way in could have been more food and supplies and on the way out another injured.

After I told him I was, he informed me that I was to take orders from the Peruvian general. I suddenly didn't really care if I lost those four stripes. I told him that I had no intentions of taking orders from that Peruvian General and also had no intentions of taking orders from him. I, almost physically, put him back on the C-130 and sent it off.

About a week later I was relieved by other Combat Controllers and flew back to Lima. When I got to the hotel, I had a note to report to Ambassador Belcher the next day.

When I got to the embassy and entered Ambassador Belcher's office, the C-130 detachment commander, Colonel Beckett, and the Army Colonel were there with the ambassador. I almost felt like ripping my stripes off for them. But Ambassador Belcher shook my hand and thanked me for the work I'd done at Anta. Then he turned to the Army Colonel and asked if he had something to say. The Army Colonel, obviously not pleased, told me he had been wrong and that he had no right to give me the order he had given me at Anta. Then Colonel Beckett added that the ranking Air Force person at a US Air Force airport is the airport commander and I was in that position in Anta. Talk about falling into a bucket of shit and coming out smelling like a rose. Ha!

 

age 16 in the middle of the night while my mom and dad were on vacation I stole my sister's car drove it around the block on the very same street and stole two gorgeous wooden rocking chairs off of my neighbor's front porch...... I had had my eye on them for at least a year or so driving by every day and wondering how I could get them.....

my sister was in charge of the other five kids while my mom and dad were on vacation so when she got up in the morning she saw the chairs and knew exactly where they had come from because she too had driven by the house every day for years

So the next night in the middle of the night without the help of a stolen car I had to carry the chairs back to my neighbours and put them back on the porch to this day they do not know that it was me that did it