For soulcompromise

Discussion in 'Transexual and Transgender' started by KathyL, Oct 19, 2020.

  1. KathyL

    KathyL Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    For some reason, the forum didn't tell me that you had tagged me, hence the delay in answering. I didn't really want to jump into a thread on American politics, so I have started this one to address your comments.

    Certainly you don't have to have surgery to be transgender. The majority of transgender people don't have surgery.

    I have a problem with your words: "to re-identify as something/someone else". That is not what the experience of being transgender is like or about. We spend years being told by our parents and doctors that we are someone else, and being told how that someone else is supposed to behave. Transitioning is about stopping being someone else and starting to be yourself. There is no re-identification as someone else. We are de-identifying as the person we never were.

    It is not about changing our minds. Our minds have always been this way. It is about stopping the pretending. All the pretense is toxic to the mind. The suicide rate among transgender people who do not transition is tragically high, especially among teens with no parental support. Having to pretend to be the people that our parents wanted us to be is literally killing people. That is the reason why dysphoria needs to be addressed medically as well as socially.

    The majority of trans folks are able to identify as their true self without surgery. It's not that they necessarily like their birth genitals, but either that part of their anatomy isn't that important to them, or the risks of the surgery outweigh the possible benefits. For those people, simply living in the social role that fits them is enough to satisfy most of their dysphoria. For others, the sense of wrongness about living their old identity doesn't go away without surgery, and in those cases, the benefits outweigh the risks.

    I do appreciate your willingness to treat the whole subject of being transgender with respect. Too often, that respect is lacking, both in real life and on forums like this.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2020
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  2. soulcompromise

    soulcompromise Member HipForums Supporter

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    Thank you @KathyL. I truly value your feedback, and the attention! :)

    It's nice to hear something about this as I have tried to study it but typically only get as far as good journalism can take me. Knowing your heart is important. Following your heart is the difference between life and death! Thank you for your accomplishments, and for all that you add to our lives! You are a dealbreaker and an advocate for your lifestyle and others who aspire to do so much with themselves! It's beautiful, and I appreciate it.

    -SoulC
     
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  3. wilsjane

    wilsjane Nutty Professor HipForums Supporter

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    You have a good and healthy outlook on life.
     
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  4. ~Zen~

    ~Zen~ California Tripper Administrator

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    @KathyL thank you for the words of wisdom! I agree, and hope more would see the same.
     
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  5. KathyL

    KathyL Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    "Lifestyle". Eek! trigger word! (Just kidding. :) ) It isn't a lifestyle. It's just my life.

    As a lifestyle, it isn't much different from my mother's. Well, I suppose the fact that I am in a same-sex marriage is kind of lifestyle-ish. But the rest of it, the trans stuff, that isn't. I'm just a woman of a certain age enjoying my retirement, like any other boomer.
     
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