For Long Term/Married couples

I’ve been married for over 30 years. It’s nowhere near as frequent as we used to be, but I make sure that I get what I need. But yes, it’s true - things do slow down.

 

Yes it does. We try to keep it interesting by playing together and with friends!

 

Its a matter of priorities I guess. Sex was always an important part of ourt relationship, and we've been together since the weekend after the crash of the New York market in '87. (Actually that is when we met. Our relationship really kicked off about a month or two later and we've been together ever since.)

The trick is to find a way to keep it exciting for the both of you. We have our own way. We stay very active, and expect that to continue unless the goat dies.

...I'M JOKING! There is no goat! But we do have our way of keeping it very active.

 

As a sea captain---I can too. Well... if having your own 26' sailboat counts as a sea captain.

Maybe more like a pirate captain... Aaaaarggh!

 

We have been married 40+ years and still enjoy sex with each other an average of twice a month. That keeps both of us satisfied.

 

I’ve been married for 15 years. We normally have sex anywhere from 5-7 times a week. I have a very high drive and would have sex multiple times a day if my husband was able to keep up.

BUT... We’ve had sexual ups and downs. When we first got married we had sex all the time. After we had our first child I was put on hormonal birth control and it lowered my drive to where we were having sex maybe 2-3 times a week. After our third kid I went on the depo shot and it killed my drive completely and we had sex about once a week (grudgingly). Finally I figured out that it was the birth control and went off it and now I’m back to wanting sex ALL THE TIME.

 

I actually am an ordained minister. If you go to the right website you can be one too.

C/S,
Rev J

 

I'm joking, but, yes, I know. Either we talked about it before, or you mentioned it in a post

 

What!?! No Goat!?!

 

Hubby was a Coastee!

 

Life and marraige has its ups and downs for sure. Sex also has its many variations. If your s/o is unable , take the situation into your own hands. Just make sure they know that you are taking care of your needs. They may become a part of it.

 

I was never in the Navy, and the only flag I have ever flown from my mast is----coincidentally----a pirate flag (which didn't actually occur to me when I wrote the pirate part). Seriously, I am captain of nothing more than my own 26' sailboat-----and I also do not know how to officiate a wedding... (And fortunately I have not yet needed the services of the coast guard.)

On the other hand, as I thank you know, like yourself we do keep it exciting with friends

 

I think the wedding vows should be changed....
From I do ( have sex)
TO
I used to ( have sex)

 

But your father was a semen.

C/S,
Rev J

 

Lots of sex before marriage and it continued after marriage, it's now just with the same woman, my wife. While it has slowed down after 40 years, we now use toys and do other things to keep it fun, stimulating, sensual, and interesting. The world offers more than one flavor of ice cream.

 

Marriage opened the door for us many years ago. The frequency increased as spontaneous sex happened often. Before leaving for work in the morning. First thing before dinner. Before bedding down for the night. Wash, rinse, repeat. We went from dating vanilla sex on the weekends to being able to explore so many options. No longer was there a curfew where we had to get it on and scramble to get her home before time was up. Now, after marriage, many weekends were spent sexually from Friday night through Sunday. We would only take a break to eat and then we would have to be careful as the food might become part of the play. Children happened and we slowed some but still kept at it even scheduling weekend trips to a hotel down the street every so often. Room service was a blessing as we couldn't find the time to leave the room much less the bed. With us it wasn't about the frequency but the quality. Over a twenty five year span we had sexual relations in every conceivable manner and often. Then her health took a turn for the worse. As we aged she became ill having to have several surgeries that caused issues. Trying many things to make it enjoyable again failed. Using extra lubrication didn't help much. Hormone therapy was a disaster. Diabetes affected her body sexually. The last time we had sex we stopped because it was so painful for her and very uncomfortable for me. That was it for us. But for all those years we were active it was often we were engaged in some position or another.

 

I've been married 42 years. The first 7 people generally told us to "get a room", basically we were screwing each others brains out and having a hell of a lot of fun. Even swapped with another couple or two along the way. We'd decided on an open marriage...

After that it slowed up a bit, still a couple times a week. Then she hit "the change of life" early and the hot flashes just made sex difficult. She had hot flashes for the next 20 plus years.

Over about the last 4 years with the hot flashes gone, we've started exploring our more intimate desires again. It's different certainly, but a lot of fun. Also, we still maintain a "If you see something a bit different you're interested in go for it", hell at this age we both laugh about it and have a lot of fun.

 

3 times a day every single day before kids.
Now, once or twice a year.

 

That's not good!

 

Nope.
I feel like in jail with no toothbrush. Something important had been taken away from me, something part of my basic rights, of my mental health and of my physical routine to maintain good health.
Coming back to hf feels like having found an illegal cell phone in a hole!