For guys who are on some form of estrogen...l

This is gonna be scary... the thing is, I'm sure Estradiol 1mg costs $4 at Wal Mart... a testosterone blocker, I'm not so sure, but a generic can't be too expensive. If you mean the specialists will be expensive, then... you're probably right.

If he declines, I don't know what I'll do... I really don't want to progress as a man any more... the thought of it actually scares me.

 

You need an anti-androgen though. 1mg of estradiol is low in itself, that's normally the start off dose as doctor's work people up to make sure there's no complications, but with an anti androgen the normal dose of estradiol is generally 4mg(though that's the just the ball park number, different bodies need different amounts) If there's estrogen in your system, your body will make more testosterone to try to fight it off, in which case much more estrogen would be needed for the same effects(which is not good for the liver among other things)

But also to get it at wal mart you would most certainly need a prescription

 

Even if I do get to stop MPB with an anti-androgen, I do want to become as physically/mentally girly as possible through pharmaceuticals... no surgery, at this time anyway... so I do want to take Estradiol if I'm able to.

 

Well the problem with anti androgens is it's not wise in a health sense to be on them for an extended period of time without a hormone. Generally the body needs testosterone of estrogen. Do you really want to be a woman though?

 

I do... I really don't want to progress as a man. Being a young boy wasn't too bad, as I looked a lot like a girl... but since that's starting to change... I'd much rather be female...

 

If this option had been open to me when I first sought help, I would certainly have done it. Being made to wait 2 years just made my depression over the whole thing even worse. As was finding out after 10 years of being on hormones, I actually should have been put on an anti androgen as well. (something I had to find out over the internet, as I was never told by anyone at my clinic.)

You should probably speak to a psychiatrist about your feelings. Most trans people start feeling they are the opposite sex at a very young age. That doesn't sound like the case with you. Though puberty was definitely hell on earth for me, as it is for many trans-people. The fact is, if you start eostrogen, and anti androgen treatment before the onset of puberty, the feminizing effects will be much greater than if you take them after puberty. Unfortunately, most trans people don't start treatment till after puberty has ended. And as previously stated, some of puberty's effects are irreversable, and some of the effects that can be, it can be a painful, and sometimes expensive process to put right. Hence why so many have trouble "passing" as a woman.

Treatment before puberty has to be the way forward, as this can prevent a lot of misery later in life. Early intervention can make it much easier for you to "pass", thus making your adult life a lot easier. Taking hormones after puberty is really just damage limitation. The damage to your body has already been done. It's like sticking a plaster onto a huge gaping wound. And why I would advise you are absolutely sure before starting hormones. A lot of female transpeople are very dissappointed with the minimal effect of oestrogen has on their bodies. I certainly was. Then again, had I been put on anti-androgens at the same time, Im sure I would have seen better results.

 

It seems like anti-androgens are a must for stabilizing estrogen as your primary hormone... it's just unsafe to take them by yourself and ordering them online. I advise against it.

And I'm just in the after-puberty stages, I think... my voice never really deepened much, if at all, and I'm literally now just getting facial hair that grows a bit and gets a bit dark, and I'm a month away from 22... I never had that before. Same with chest hair. It was always very thin and very unnoticeable.

Hopefully it's not too too late...

To see if I'd look right after taking this, well, here's a year old picture of me. Would it look too awkward? Or am I too far post puberty?

 

That is correct. I was put on a lower hormone dose than normal, and no anti-androgens. I put this down to the fact that I dressed androgynesly, so I wasnt taken seriously. They probably thought Id just "give up" if I saw very little results from the hormone treatment. I was really angry when I found this out. Unless you take a very large amount of female hormone, testosterone will remain the more potent hormone in your system. So anti-androgens are essential for any part of a transwoman's treatment. Sadly, I had no internet access till many years after I started treatment.

You shouldn't be asking if you'd "look right" after taking them. As most transwomen do have trouble "passing" even after treatment. It is safe to say, a lot of transwoman are less than satisifed with the feminising effects of hormones. But as Ive said, after puberty, taking hormones is really just damage limitation. It can't really reverse the aggressive masculinising of your body that happens during puberty.

If you're asking if you could pass as a woman...going by your pic, I'd say you got off lightly compared to some transwomen. I'd say most transwomen who started hormones post-puberty have at least some trouble "passing", while for some, it is just impossible, they just look like men in drag. The ones who have little or no trouble passing, are in a very small minority. Only pre-pubertal treatment with hormones and anti-androgens would ensure a high chance of looking like a realistic woman into adulthood.

 

Oh hey you're cute. But your face does in fact kind of have that smooth glow to it. and your hair seems thick as hell. It's hard to say what you'd look like afterwards, estrogen can't do much to the face since most of the face's shape is determined by bone, but it does change the shape of the face a bit, also things like how your hair is framing your face, eyebrows and make up usually make all the difference.

 

The only effect estrogen has on the face, is it softens the skin, and can give your features a more feminine appearance. The main thing which it can't change, is bone structure. Some transwoman decide to have facial feminisation surgery in order to give their skull a more feminine shape and appearance. And lots more would probably elect to have this if it werent so expensive.

 

I'd love a more feminine appearance... I pray this psychiatrist can do something to help.

So things I'm going to mention are, the anti-androgen to prevent the normal flow of testosterone (Spironolactone) and the female growth hormone (Estradiol). I have to think about how I'm going to tell him all of this. I'm afraid I might break down and cry about in front of him... which probably wouldn't look so good... I'll be sure to post whatever happens, though.

I can't thank you guys enough for your help, support and understanding. I really appreciate it <3

 

Well, Monday's the day I find out what'll happen... If I'm able to do this, I'll post back, and keep updates on my changes (if that's alright to do)

 

You should remember nothing will happen the 1st time, he'll tell you to come back to talk about your feelings and what you've felt through your life more. It normally takes months of visits for a transgendered person to get approved for hormones, sometimes less with a transgendered friendly therapist, sometimes more for those in doubt, sometimes never for those jackasses who still believe it can be cured by some good ol fashion manning up.

 

Ugh, it's those kinds of people who should really be made extinct...

 

Well, he gave me Spironolactone (anti-androgen) to start with. He's going to check with me and prescribe Estradiol if I still want it within a month. The only reason he wasn't okay with prescribing it now was, one woman he prescribed it to had a blood clot afterwards, and it may have been from that. But after he looks into the safety precautions of the drug we'll go over it again.

 

Wow...you are very lucky! I wish all psychitrists were as understanding as yours seems to be...

 

I think he was okay with prescribing this to me, because I talked with him for 30 minutes solid about it. He had seen I knew what I was talking about, and I went over the effects with him. He checked on his computer on the effects, and asked if changing my gender was what I was seeking... I told him changing my gender wasn't the main reason I was doing this, but I wouldn't mind the effects of shedding whatever masculinity I have. He's a very smart guy, and I'm glad he understood what I meant by that. It's hard to explain without sounding too weird. In the mean time, if I don't want to wait the extra month to start estrogen, I can check with an endocrinologist. I might do that just to see their opinion. Maybe I will end up changing my gender, who knows. I just can't wait to look feminine

 

Well, I picked up the Spironolactone (25mg) but I'm reading on some other sites, that this can act as a substitute for testosterone, and could increase testosterone levels... now this I didn't know, but that sounds pretty crappy. Do all transgenders have to take this risk of the drug possibly backfiring?

I'm going to book an appointment with an endocrinologist tomorrow, and get an opinion there before I start taking this, just in case.

 

It won't do that, I forget what the exact mechanism is but basically when it comes to testosterone that's entering your receptors, that's what it blocks, there still is in fact free testosterone in your system, but it's blocked from doing anything.

This is the warning at hand, remember, you don't get a choice in it, despite what's between your legs, you will be female if you take estrogen. You will have a woman's thought patterns, a woman's emotions, a woman's muscle structure, sexual response, fat distribution, metabolism, skin, body as a whole(it's hard to keep trying to be a man after a while with womanly skin and boobs) and you will be chemically castrated.

 

That sounds good to me, haha.

Now since chemical castration kills your sex drive, how do some transgenders still... do things anyway?

Also should I hold off on taking this until I have estrogen to flush any remaining T. out?