I've done acid maybe 40+times...not in the past 14 months though...and i used to kind of enjoy flashbacks, but my last two trips over a year ago were terrifying, hence the reason i don't do it anymore. However, last night i was totally sober...just laying in bed really late...couldn't sleep...and i got an intense crazy flashback. It scared the crap out of me. At first little neon purple dots were forming on my ceiling, chasing eachother around, then what looked like heat waves started pouring out of the cracks.. I kind of enjoyed it at this time, but then it started getting more intense...like it was coming closer to me. I laid on my side and closed my eyes, trying to force myself to sleep. I opened them only to see my wooden dresser breathing, the doors seemed to want to open up by themselves. The wood grain pulsed with darker hues of brown, like blood pumping through veins. The black crease in between the doors grew and shrank. Panic was knotting up in my stomache. I held the blankets over my head and eventually fell asleep....This is at like 8:30 a.m....yea, i have some bad insomnia sometimes. Falling asleep, you'd think it would be over...ohhhh nooo. It plagued my dreams worse than when i was awake. I was talking to people that didn't exist. Trying to hide the fact that i was out of my mind. I looked in the mirror, and my eyes were bloodshot, pupils huge and dialated, both of them looking off into opposite directions like some mad person. I couldn't control myself or think straight. I just wanted it over. Then i woke up, and just being in my room now wigs me out...Flashbacks suck. It reminded me too much of my last two bad trips...like i was going crazy.
I think psychedelics teach you (without you always having to do it on your own) a way to stay with your consciousness as it shifts... almost everynight when I go to bed I seem to lay down for like 5 minutes and slip into hallucinations (which are actually normal before and during sleep just most people are either asleep already or dont notice them..) and i'll slip into dreams.. many of which seem to have more of a meditative feel and often I'll get white light that I usually only get while on acid... and alot of astral experiences when I'm trying to sleep... but alot of times i'm just to tired and the dream states have a really wierd feeling to them.. and theres also alot of auditory hallucinations too... one that still gets me sometimes is when I am definite i hear someone walking either up the stairs to my room or walking around in my room and they seem to be only a couple of feet away from me... the wierd part is i dont neccesarrily get scared.. but like my body does... and I can sit there and try to calm my body down but it usually doesnt help.. gahhh especially during the vibration if theyre really intense... but usually after this stuff.. if i open my eyes my room has a appearence only matched during usage of psychedelics.. which often confuses me whether i'm in a dream or whatnot... and the more intense the experience was with my eyes closed.. usually the more transformed the exterior is... but over the past few months, once i stopped using acid 2-4 times a month... it seemed to drop off almost completly... but just recently (past few weeks) with my daily smoking of salvia.. it seems to be right back to highly active...
it sounds like your soul is earger to shed "the monkey body" and do some hyper-spacial exploration...
well its not always like a full blown salvia experience.... i only do that on the avg of 1-2 times a week.. except for those acidental ones where i forget what pile was 5x and which was 10x or 15x lol... other wise I might just take a small hit or two (usually just normal leaf tho..) while smoking weed, before meditating, sometimes while listening to music or playing music... -- - --- - -- and I am eager to get back to space cowboy mode lol... I finished my last 4 doses on nov8 (heh anniversary of my 1st true psychedelic experience) but I wasnt really pleased with them anyway.. i wish at the time i got them I didnt buy as many as i did..however many that was.. like 25 or 30 i think it was... but glad theyre gone but I still miss it lol.. my curiosity increases each day.. and the more and more reading and research I do the more i'm prepared to understand... psychonauts... blast off!
