First time sex attempt, erection problems

Hello to everyone,
I am 21yrs old and have been with my girlfriend for about a month now, we see each other about once a week, but will be seeing much more often since the faculty attendance will be mandatory. Well, before I begin with my problem, I feel like I need to tell some backround things about myself, first one being that I never found sex as sex particulary attractive in terms of masturbation, since I nearly never masturbated to sex in my life, mostly more kinky things, bondage, female to female pussy licking and so on... however normal things still turn me on in reality, such as just lying in bed with my girlfriend, touching her boobs and other private parts. Well, now that the background is clarified, last night we wanted to do it, my dick was hard but I just couldn't call that a full erection, and when I put on a condom and put it inside her, it just didn't go, the erection didn't come, it went flaccid and just didn't come back up for the rest of the night, my mind zoned out completely as well. I was thinking over and over again about what it could be, I don't know, perhaps nervousness of it all, perhaps the fact that I nearly never in life masturbated to just sex, and many anxious thoughts crossed my mind such us, what if I'm asexual and will never be able to please her with sex and so on...so I'm asking someone for help who might have had a similar problem (being attracted to more kinky stuff but still being able to have normal sex). I really really feel attracted to my gf but last few times whenever the foreplay even starts, I just can't seem to get and maintain an erection. Thank you for all the answers and have a nice day.

 

you're probably just nervous. also don't masturbate at all until you've nutted in her at least once.

that seems weird, but i guess if your teachers are required to be present during this you could ask one of them for advice?

 

N

No no I meant that faculty presence will be mandatory meaning as we will have to both go to classes (since we don't live that close) and that's why I will be with her more, otherwise no they aren't present during intercourse hahahahahaha.

 

I remember my first time when I was sixteen. I did not have that problem... My issue was with duration. She's like "that's it?" She was a virgin too, supposedly. I don't know if I believed it. Actually, I know I didn't.

 

Well thanks for the info i guess but i don't see how that's relevant to my question

 

I am feelin' a shorter question for the OP, and of course you can do what you want. But I didn't feel like sifting through someone's life story to form an answer and then find, as I usually do, that they aren't staying long.

You would be surprised.... a lot of people post soliloquies and then split without even reading the answers or responding.

I'm sorry your first time didn't work for you. Definitely don't give up, unless of course you suspect another fella!

 

I think if the attraction is there and you are able to get and maintain an erection in private then it's probably a nerves thing and a case of over thinking.

Try taking more time over foreplay and warming up, if particular aspects of your girlfriend turn you on focus on those. Try not to think too much or worry about a repeat of what happened before. And always remember, even if you lose your erection make sure you put in the effort to pleasure her, it will be appreciated and seeing her in pleasure will make you worry less about losing your erection.

And like someone else suggested, if you abstain from masturbating or limit yourself you might find yourself more 'pent up' and have a larger appetite for the act. Good luck and relax!

 

Finding girls that are virgins is rare as hell, since i am one to this day.

 

It's your first time, you're nervous, you've just had a case of performance anxiety. Try to relax, take longer on the foreplay, don't rush and you'll get there.

 

First night frights, lots of guys get but don't admit to it the only thing you can do is go again, try this get into a nice warm room with some wine, best if your both naked and just sit and chat and slowly work your self up to, if you need one a condom that is let her put it on, it will ease some frights and take it from there, with luck this should over come your problem and your walk tall then.

Just remember take things slowly, there no need to rush it even when it comes to doing the deed go slow.

 

Sorry but yours is a challenge, do you get any morning erections or was you getting them? are you getting any kind of feelings? are your bloods OK? like blood pressure and get a blood workup done from that your find out how things are going, we need good blood for good erections.

Please come back ASAP