first-time mom with little-no help

I have no way of knowing for sure, but children bond with the people who are around them, and if the bond is good, it is easier to bond with others, later. Meaning a baby who has a good bond with mama, early on, will have an easier time bonding with other people later.


Familes come in all shapes in sizes to raise children, they could be a mama and a daddy, a mama alone, a daddy alone, two daddies, two mamas, an auntie, gramma, or two grandparents ect.

As long as she is loved and listened to, and exposed to emotioinally healthy people who love her and treat her with respect, your baby will be emotionally healthy. If her daddy wants to be part of her life later, and he works at it, and has good intentions, I am guessing things will be good.

 

I second what Maggie said then, no relationship is textbook and it has a whole lot more to do with the intentions and actions of those involved. You can help by talking about the person that is not around but when they are little. This is not as meaningful as those who are there everyday but at least it will make that person familiar in some manner to them so if they choose to join in at some point things are not so unfamiliar to them, it may even be as simple as remembering that the food you are eating is one of their faves or a song you are listening to. It has so much more to do with how you all as adults manage to relate to each other and the little one.....

 

Yeah, I totally agree. I hope you didn't think that I meant that they mean more to me than her. As she's gotten older, I've been able to get back to doing some of the things I used to like to do before I had her. I don't think that there's anything wrong with that; she's still number one. Just something to do when she's perfectly content playing with her toys or napping.

I totally know what you mean. That has always been a huge priority to me, too.
Get this...last year when I was still preganat, my MIL split up with her finance and had no where to live. Cody offered to let her come and live with us. Since we only had a small 1 bedroom apartment, she said that she wanted to move to a bigger place. We had everything all planned out, and then she calls cody up at work one day about a month and a half later and says that she's been seeing a new guy for the last month and that she's moving in with him.
Normally, we wouldn't have cared, but we had focoused all our finances on moving out and were expecting a baby. Originally, I'd had a feeling something like that would happen, but both Cody and his mom reassured me everything was going to be ok.
Needless to say, I was pissed.
Then she had the nerve to say to me, "this teaches you that you can never rely on anyone." And both my mom and dad repeated the same thing!!!!!! I couldn't believe what I was hearing! She clearly screwed us over, and was trying to convince me that it was my fault that we were in financial trouble when she changed her mind!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

i just wan to state that children don't come with manuals, however you want to be a parent is your choice . Its great kids want kids or adults want to be moms/dads but theres no real way to "actually" know what kids needs are or know what they are thinking. Its a guessing game . Especially when they a wee ones. However i don't have kids but i am a step mother of 2 and i have experience with child care and know various situations of what goes on.

PG

 

makes a lot more sense. wow maybe I'll try reading the bible. my future mother-in-law gave me a mormon bible. it's THICK. but maybe I'll try getting further than the first 50 pages of Genesis. that's as far as I got before i could take no more lol! have any of you read the bible?

sorry, I always get way off topic in threads, but there's no reason to completely start a new thread about the bible...

you know, I was thinkin the same thing. NO ONE is COMPLETELY independent. we all depend on someone, somewhere. or many someones...

yeah, I guess I could have come to the same conclusion if I had taken the time to think about it. It just really worries me sometimes that they won't bond well and have a close relationship like I have with her. I really miss him.

No, I didn't think that at all, no worries.

huh? are you talking about me? like young people wanting kids, or do you literally mean KIDS wanting kids? I was a little confused about your post.

 

no i mean it nothing about you here at all..

PG

 

that doesnt answer my question lol im still just as confused!

 

blah

 

blah

 

then who WAS your post directed at???....it is confusing....

 

well, what I meant by that is just that a lot of the time, babies aren't consciously conceived. people have sex not even thinking about babies, they just do it cuz they want to. we (Axyn and I) wanted to have a child, so we consciously tried to make one. that's all I meant by that.

no worries

 

bnvb

 

well it was a good choice.

 

same story for us....we weren't protecting against it, but it was for sure the best thing that ever happened to us!

 

of course! it really is the best thing anyone could have happen to them. unfortunately Some people just don't recognize that.