First time coming out as Bisexual

You and I roll the same way.

 

It would indeed seem so.

If nothing else, you and I both have a decent command of simple common sense!

 

Thsnks, I pride myself on critical thought and common sense.

 

.....and a VERY wise combination that is, for sure!

 

I forgot to tell you I'm 65 also. Email me.

 

For those of you who have come out without any bad complications, I'm happy for you. Sadly, I'm stuck in the closet for a multitude of reasons.....

 

That HAS to be rough as hell, and, sadly, you are not alone; far too gay/bi men have to remain closeted for valid reasons.

In this supposed "enlightened" day and age, it is still amazing how much bigotry there is towards bi and gay men.

It takes a LOT of GUTS and DETERMINATION to remain in the closet, and even more so when you decide to "come out" (trust me, I know).

Stay strong, and keep the faith, my friend.......

 

.......a VERY well-written "commentary" and one making some very realistic and mature observations, that I am sure many mature married bi men can readily identify with.

I cannot even imagine what you have had to deal with, within your family, these past several years.

You seem to be dealing with issues quite maturely and with a good deal of common sense (an increasingly rare commodity, sadly, nowadays)

Stay strong, my friend.....

 

Came out to my wife around Christmas last yr...for the third time... Told her when we first met that I had sex with men and had even lived with a guy..... Told her again about 10yrs later and she was shocked .... And told her at Christmas, where she said it didn't surprise her. Buylt she didn't understand how I was a bottom ... I really don't think she really hears anything that is uncomfortable for her. When I reminded her that I had told her I lived with a guy and that I had been in love with him she said she thought we were just close friends and not that I was his gurlfriend.. would never tell my kids. And my mother and father had threatened to disown me when they thought I might be gay

 

Papa:

Keep the strength, my friend.

It would seem that for many bi/gay men, for every step they take forward, they end up taking several steps back.

You are obviously being true to yourself, and that is a tremendous asset.

When any friend, regardless of gender, accepts YOU for YOURSELF, you are indeed most fortunate......

 

Justme22863.

Sometimes, for gay/bi men, families can be the biggest hurdle to overcome when "coming out"; they can either be totally understanding and supportive, or, they can be totally callous and virtually cast you off.

They always say, "honesty is the best policy"; sadly, there are many times thast can have serious negative altercations, leaving you indeed between a rock and a hard place, wanting to be honest, but, also, afraid to be.

Just take things one day at a time.....

 

Funny thing is when parents threatened to disown me I was in a committed relationship with one guy and a girlfriend that he knew about on the side. After my parents in effect broke us up I turned into a slut and slept with at least 50 guys and broke up with my girlfriend.. so in trying to force me to be straight they just shoved me into the closet and basically created a cockslut

 

Do not allow ANYONE to degrade or degenerate you.

When people treat you that shabbily simply for being yourself, they are not worth associating with.

All I can say is, my friend, is to draw upon your inner resilience and courage and REFUSE to let ANYONE define you, degrade you, or to treat you as though you werre the lowest on the face of the earth.

Be TRUE to YOURSELF and, perhaps, seek professional help of some sort.

Take one day at a time and never allow anyone to judge or condemn you......BE YOURSELF.

 

I'll second that.

 

Just earlier today I came out to a longtime lesbian friend of mine that I hadn't seen in a few years. But that was the easiest coming out possible. I already spoke of, earlier in this thread, of coming out to the woman who would become only my second girlfriend of my life, in 2016 at 54--the hardest thing I've ever had to do, because I really wanted a romantic relationship with her. Other than to two therapists, I was deeply in the closet.

In that previous post, I also said that I would not be coming out to my family and straight friends unless I got a boyfriend and therefore finally had romantic feelings for another man. Like other guys, I feel that while it's only sexual, whatever happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom: it's no one's business.

But get this: two weeks ago for the very first time I had romantic feelings for another guy--at least that's what I think is happening. I am very eager to explore this relationship and see whether it can go from a new, platonic, and straight friendship to a loving, romantic, gay relationship. Most of me really wants this. But there's a tiny part of me that doesn't out of fear of having to come out to my family and friends as bisexual, as I promised I would do in my previous post: only when I have a boyfriend will I come out as bisexual to everyone. What a coward I am!

But I'm sure that will not influence my actions with this guy, because I believe I'm getting closer and closer to my truth, which is probably more gay than straight. And it is so exciting and freeing to live your truth. And whether it's with this guy or another guy who I get into loving relationship with, and we live as a gay couple, I don't think I will even care whether people think I'm gay rather than bisexual. I have to stop worrying about labels or what others think!

 

My husband knows. (He is too.) I guess the girls and guys I've done threesomes with know.

 

My wife and I were at a sex club. A single guy started chatting us up. I figured, fine I'll chaperone them if my wife likes him and wants to hook up with him.

I went to pee and then rejoined them as we went upstairs to where the playrooms are. On the way upstairs, my wife tells me that they were chatting while I was gone and the other guy actually prefers threeways where he gets to play with the husband too, so do I want to give it a try? I said sure. And the rest is history. There was no penetration that day because we were still soft swap at the time, but it was pretty hot. At the end of the sweaty threeway play session, he came in my mouth and I swallowed. I just went with the flow and it all worked out.

Sure there was stuff going on in my head for years before that, so it didn't come out of nowhere. But the first time with my wife watching was not planned and it worked out great.