First Threesome mfm expectations rules fears and wills please advise

To all experienced people



Me and my wife have been talking for the last 5 years now about adding another Guy to our sexlife she feels she will be jealous if she will see me with another woman and I don’t care much about adding another woman, truthfully I’d prefer to see her with another man I love the idea to fuck her with another man, kiss her while he fuck her see her suck his dick while I fuck her and of course dp her

We saw videos, talk about it while we had sex and used an anal plug we just loved it,

But talks, fantasy and dreams aside



My fear is I’ll lose my wife in this venture or I’ll challenge my sexual life and will need to put more energy into fix something that not really broken,



She said numerous times whatever makes me happy, she is open to do it and we almost think alike, at the same time she doesn’t motivate me to make it happen.



In her mind it’s not a big deal it’s just sex but for me sex is more than just sex ... (She is more experienced than me and she love sex I don’t care too much about sex which is another reason I’d like to add another man) in any sexual activity I’d love to participate and be with her in any mixture that comes even in the future I want her to be the center of the attention and very happy, my feel is if I’m there with her we are enjoying not only her which makes me feel like she is not with someone else it’s us.



I’m okay with my relationship the way it is but at the same time I’d like to push the limits and experience new exciting stuff

I have an open minded and would like to try different things in my relationship,

I am the one that brought the idea and she is very passive about it, so it’s up to me.



When we have talked about it we set our rules and boundaries and here is the different expectations we have

1. she want me to surprise her with a guy one evening / I would love us or me meet him and know him first
2. I want her to be blindfolded at least the first time / she doesn’t she wants to be active
3. I want him to do oral sex on her she is not that excited to suck his dick
4. When we spoke about adding another guy to the mix she asked me if I won’t care someone else having sex with her (she said she will be extremely jealous if she will see me) I told her that I feel Comfortable with anal sex since it’s not my preference to go there and anyway I’d love to dp her and in my point of view anal sex is not that big of a deal and she can still cum from it, I prefer to keep her pussy to myself at least until I will feel comfortable with any other guy

Please give me some feedback about jumping into it the right way,



Many thanks

 

I don't know that there is a "right way". The right way is what is best for the two of you. My wife and I are a Vixen and Stag couple (we add other men to our bed to make her the center of attention.) In our relationship we have a few rules that work for us. We don't "play" with anyone that we know. This helps prevent any undesired connection, other than sex, between her and him. I found that I had zero jealousy in her being with another guy. We look at the other guy as merely a sex toy. If she wants to be surprised, then surprise her. If she doesn't want to be blindfolded, then don't blindfold her. It is important that she be comfortable. A great place to potentially start would be at a local swing club. That is how we started. We went to a club on a night that allowed single men. While I was playing with her pussy, a man walked up and asked if he could join. She said yes and that led to our first MFM. Instinct took over and she let go and had fun. She is normally very reserved and shy so this was a bonus for me.

When it is all said and done, the goal is for both of you to have a great time and to feel good about the experience. When I am in bed with my wife I want her to enjoy herself as much as possible. If someone can help me with that than I'm cool with that. It all has to start with a strong relationship and great trust.

 

Hi,

Thanks for the replay, I’ve read so much and all your previous posts on other thread I actually took a lot from your posts

My wife as your wife is very reserved and I am a very dominant guy in my work life or my household that through her off when I suggested that,

And I don’t think I have any jealousy but I feel I’d feel way better if she’d be blindfolded especially for the first time

And me knowing the guy is pretty important I can not open up and let just anyone have her,

So surprise her it’s kind of dramatic for me and also I think she is so conservative I would imagine it will be more comfortable for her to meet the guy than just let him jump in ...

And finally I’d like this to succeed so I’d like to take small steps instead of a big step

And we do have a set of rules and boundaries, I’ve written when I spoke with her and from me researching and reading other experiences

 

For now you need to keep this as a fantasy. After reading what you wrote and expect you are to insecure to move forward. Your fear is you'll lose her in this venture. Yes, another male partner for her challenges your domain. You fear she may take to him emotionally and lose everything you had ever hoped for. That she'll be gone forever. That insecurity will prevent any enjoyment of adding a male partner for you. Until you get over this and become secure she isn't going to leave you won't be relaxed and let the moment flow. It will challenge your sexual life and you will need to put more energy into it. But if your sex life isn't broken why do you want to fix it by adding another partner for her? In reality you don't want to change your sex life and are unsure of what will happen if it does. Believe me adding a third challenges and changes your sex life. Exponentially!

Another thing I noted is she could care less if you brought home another cock for her. She's being passive in order to satisfy your fantasy. It's not a fantasy of hers. Plus you don’t care too much about sex. You said so yourself which is a big reason to not add another man. Why? Because he cares about sex. There is another, for real, human getting ready to have sex who cares about sex and wants to fuck your wife. That's why he is there. Oh, and she cares about sex and wants to have him fuck her because you want him to fuck her.

Which is why your blindfold idea won't work for her. She has to know who it is that is just about to slide his cock into her pussy or ass. Otherwise it isn't happening. And you won't be able to keep her pussy to yourself. Bad idea. You don't own that pussy. It's hers and she makes the decision on who or what goes inside it. Yes, you can suggest anal only but in those moments of passion when she needs it stuffed with cock expect her to take him fully inside, possibly bareback, and have him give her his seed. If that happened how would you deal with it emotionally? I expect not very well.

You have to many hang ups. (BTW, so does she) Until you change your emotions about your sex life with her keep it just between yourselves and having a threesome a fantasy. Reality may be to much for you to handle right now. If you can get over the insecurities that are presented when another man is invited into the bedroom you may, like many other couples, enjoy it. But I don't think you are ready to face the emotions that come with it yet.

 

That is spot on IMO. I was going to ay something on the same lines but then I though I would sound like a broken record and then be accused of being a party pooper .