Finding true purpose. God is a mushroom?

Hello friends, or no one at all. I don't really know what to expect, or why I am writing this. Venting I guess. Here we go! So I'm a 30 year old male who never really had a purpose, nor did I ever want one. For as long as I can remember all I ever wanted was nothing at all. I didn't even want to exist. "Clinically Depressed" since childhood, which is unfounded because I grew up in a wonderful, loving home. My parents are my heros, and my role models. I was the neon rave sheep of the family, but I was and am still accepted and loved by my fam. Even when I started using harder chemicals. They loved me even through my whole hearted suicide attempts, and continuing to spiral drug use. My family loves me even now in my 7 months since I last used my DOC. Rambles. Anyways.. From the moment I started using, I knew I had to get out anyway I could. Rehab didn't work, well it does, but I didn't choose to apply it. Suicide didn't work. I've died twice and still keep kicking. What did work up til this point, and without even realizing it til now. Mushrooms worked. While I was in active addiction to "the hard stuff" I was high on my DOC and decided it was a good idea to take 1/4 oz of mushrooms. 3 or so hours later I changed my mind. That moments started the next 6 months of my life where I was completely convinced I was dead and in my own little slice of hell, and I truly was in hell. I'll spare the details of my delusions during this time, but lets just say it was enough to shake me to my soul. It was enough to make me realize that the mushrooms, mother nature, God, and the universe did not approve with the way I was living, and neither did I. It also made me realize that through 3 attempts on my own life and 2 deaths, something has a plan for me. I can no longer shrug off the feelings I get, when I'm not living in accordance to my moral beliefs, nor can I numb or blind myself with deadly chemicals. My spirit, and also my body won't allow it. Spiritually I feel closer than ever to finding my purpose and my calling. I can't deny that something is calling. Is it a mushroom? is it God? Same thing in my opinion. If you disagree, just look at the comparisons of mycelium growth next to the universe, lightning strikes, or the neurons on the human brain. Not saying this for fact, but I do believe it more than coincidence. I still don't know my true purpose, but I know I'm on the way to finding it. Maybe rambling here about this nonsense will help. idk. Love and light all! My heart is with everyone of you. Whatever my purpose be I know through understanding, and through action I will find it.

 

I'm glad that seemed to work for you. Could use some myself I thought, but I guess it's all too late for me

 

Ahhh but that's the thing! It's never too late my friend. The trick is in convincing yourself you're stronger than the mind. For me it took severe panic, and fear that it was already too late, and then realizing it wasn't. The mind is the greatest enemy of all. When I told myself I'd never be anything more than a criminal junkie, that's all I could ever rise to. Now I'm approaching reality with the mindset that this is my game, and the only thing that can ruin it is me! Prayers to the almighty mushroom for you, brother! Hope is real. It's out there

 

It can take a lifetime to find purpose, so may you find joy in the calling.

 

Why look for a purpose? Why not just make your own?

 

I've yet to read this book but some of my favorite psychedelic psychonauts and enthusiasts have referenced it when talking about the connection between religion and psychedelics. It may interest you...



I find the Pantheist conception of God unpersuasive. I think it's superflous in adding entities and most arguments I've read by it's adherents seem to rely on moving the goal posts.

 

Panic is a wonderful teacher.

 

I think my purpose is to heal and love myself, so that I can help try to heal and love others. If anyone out there is ever struggling, it's good to know there's people who care. I'm one of those people today I am glad to be alive, and take heart knowing I've already been called into action by something wholesome to do something wholesome!

 

That's the best purpose there is. Lucky.

 

What pantheism does is take the strict definition of God and make it palpable.

Omnipotent - the universe has all power that exists
Omniscient - the universe encompasses all knowledge
Omnipresent - the universe is everywhere
Personal - the universe literally is each and every one of us.

Etc.

It pushes the goal post back to those limits, as God is defined.

 

That's how I see God. It's the energy that supplies all energy. In the most humble way I say that we, as well as everything in existence are god. If god is everything, than we are all everything as well. It's through this thought process that I can start taking steps to love myself, and to love everyone else. It's so much easier with the belief that we are beings of and by God (the universe) I now see the origin and beauty of the human spirit, because everyone I see myself or am with someone else. I am in the presence of greatness. We literally all have that greatness in us.

 

I love this GIF bro, thanks. This shit is lit!

 

I just think, if there is a God, everything must be of God. Because what would God have to work with but itself.

But ultimately I think words do not suffice. We can call it God, but this is no explanation. In the end there is just salvation.

 

Yeah man I 100% agree with you. god is the universe. I forget I gotta be careful with the word god.. Most people wouldn't know that I use the word as a blanket term to encompass all that is, beyond myself. Again The Universe. Sorry m8 I'm horrible at communicating myself over these types of platforms. My original post is nothing like it was even intended to be, but years of neurotoxic attack on my brain has caused me to trail off really bad or all together forget what I'm talking about for a sec. I'm told that goes away after staying off certain chems for long enough. Thanks for reading what I have to say though. It means a lot!

 

No, you're speaking perfectly clearly. Clearer than most, actually. Just calm down.

I just feel that the connection between man and his destiny, if you want to call it God, isn't a thought, it's a sensation. It's a truth that brings peace. I don't believe that the sum total of our lives is torture. I believe ultimately there is peace.

 

I believe each of us has the fundamental purpose to experience life---the good, the bad, it is all part of why we are here. Existentially, this means individuation---becoming authentic individuals, which really means manifesting who we truly are, not who we are told to be, not who we are with all the masks we wear (which after many years hides our own self even from ourselves), not the egoless drone some religions try to fashion us into... Beyond that, we may each have a deeper individual purpose. Perhaps we find that as we become individuated. The ego-humbling experience of mushrooms is surely a part of this journey.

 

Humble people are orgasmic.

 

Fantastic book! I read it back in the 70's. Still have it in my library.

 

Mushrooms are definitely wholesome. Pretty sure there's a big mushroomy discovery for humanity down the line. ;-D