Finding Out BF is bi/gay

Hi everyone!

I appreciate your time in reading this. I recently found out that my boyfriend of 2 years is bi. I found out because he was searching for guys on Grindr and a friend of mine saw his profile. They were actually talking.
I’m just hoping for some perspective and advice. I’m not angry, just hurt. Not hurt that it’s the opposite sex but a hook up site. I’ve been supportive. I’ve addressed this out of love and support because I love him, support him and respect him no matter what.
Being bi doesn’t bother me, I have had my own experiences.
What I’m worried about is that he’s not just bi, but gay. I’m 29, building my life, and I don’t want to be left in 5 years because he’s unsure. That’s my fear. He’s told me he’s fully satisfied with our relationship on all levels and is in love with me. He said he’s never had an experience with a man. (I told him if he wanted one I’m open to his needs).
I’m not sure how to talk to him about this fear as I don’t want to offend him as he’s already worried I think less of him. Please help!

 

It sounds like he's already expressed himself to you.

What else do you need?

It sounds like you're not going to trust him so you probably need to end it.

 

Fair enough. Yeah, he’s expressed himself. It was in a shut down/melt down state though so I just felt clarity was a bit of a blur and he had a hard time articulating what he was trying to say. He was also embarrassed.
Would it be a bad idea to ask some questions, to clarify things better for myself? I don’t want him to be uncomfortable and I’m not sure what he must be feeling, but I know it’s hard on him. I don’t want to be invasive

 

I think you have a right to know anything you want to know. You can't be in a relationship if you don't know what it's about.

 

I know I'll get flamed for this, but here goes...

I don't really believe in true bisexuality. I don't know any bi people who "stayed" that way. They all end up gay sooner or later. Or, they keep the gay activities going on behind closed doors, cheating on their opposite-sex spouse though out their relationship.

If it was me, I'd end it. But I'm skeptical on both how real bisexuality is and how faithful someone identifying that way can be. You said he's already on a hookup site. I think the writing is on the wall.

 

that's why he's trying to cheat on you with random guys?

 

True.