Finding Family on Facebook by Shale September 30, 2015 I think I have a tenuous relationship with much of my family from Missouri. Likely, because of my history of rebelling against mainstream culture and them being in that mainstream culture, especially them being very religious and me vacillating between Eastern Filosofy, Agnosticism or outright Atheist with hostility toward religions. However, I do have a couple of Missouri relatives as "friends" on facebook. My sister's son Billy and her oldest daughter, Brenda. I never got a response to any comments I made on their posts that come across my timeline, so I have taken to limiting any comments. I know it could be embarrassing if some curious friend of theirs should click on this Shale to see who he is and find my posts slamming religion or Repugnicants or supporting gay rights or any number of my social comments that are not of mainstream culture. (Recently, I have set my FB to private, which can only be seen by friends after some Christians got pissed at my comments and reported pix in my Nude Beach albums out of spite). I noticed a posting on Brenda's timeline on Sept 27th that also had a link to her son, Jay's FB profile. I was unaware that Jay had a FB account. Things like that slip by old guys who remember their Grand Nephew as a child and only briefly saw him last as a grown young man at mom's funeral in January. But there it was, so I clicked on it and saw this profile pic with a comment: "In a Relationship with Jacob - since September 1, 2013" WHAT? It is encouraging to see that young ppl can be out now and apparently have family acceptance. Real progress in my lifetime, both in interracial and sexual orientation acceptance. I sent him a friend request and said I would love to keep in touch but received no further response to that. Like I said, there is not too much interaction with some of my family. I know a young man would likely not even consider a distant Great-Uncle in Florida who has only intermittently been in his life, but how could I not have known that he was in love with another young man for two years? Surely, someone might have known that I would be supportive of such a relationship - and also be proud of his being publicly out on Facebook. I have been out to my family since I suppose when Jim and I were "roommates" from 1973 to 1978 (altho my mom later said she bought the "roommate" title and never thot of us as lovers. Denial.). However, even with my restraint not to personally be in their face, surely they have picked up on some of my social network posts with pix of my lovers - especially Michel whom I have been most open about. So, guess I am actually a little hurt to be ignored by my (mainstream?) family from Missouri. Oh well, that's family I suppose.
I just deleted my Facebook. I mostly use otnto communicate with family. I found my half sister on Facebook and have met her and my two half brothers. It serves it purpose My mom asked if I was OK! I said I just needed to delete it. Was a time waster. Don't be hurt...some people are so focused on themselves.
Same here. Finding My Half-Sister By Shale July 20, 2013 Today, while working with digital copies of old family fotos and looking thru a folder with family history scraps, I came across a wedding announcement sent to me years ago by a relative with pics from my dad. "Mr. and Mrs. J.H. Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Sharon to Mr. Steve Smith on Saturday, the twentieth of April Nineteen hundred and seventy-four at eleven o'clock in the morning Holy Church, Saint Louis, Missouri." This was my half-sister, Sharon whom I had lost track of for decades. In fact, this announcement came to me before I had become connected to the Internet so I decided to do a Web search under her married name. It did not take long before I found a Sharon who was a nurse in the Beaumont Texas schools. Then I went to Facebook and searched there and one showed up. Looked at the pix and after 43 years it still looked like Sharon. So, I sent her a personal message and asked to be added as a friend facebook PM July 20, 2013 Shale Just curious about ppl who were in my life early on. Also ppl who are related, such as a half sister once named Sharon. If you are her, how's it been going the last half century? I only found your last name because someone left a wedding invite that somehow I inherited - probably aunt Sarah or grandma. (or even dad?). So, you are Sharon, my half-sis? Sharon I am. I have lived in texas since 1976 I am divorced ex husband died about 6 years ago 2 kids grown 35 and 29 35yo lives here works for exxon mobil 29 yo ( girl) lives in Malaysia Works for Halliburton grand kids 14 yo 11 yo 6 yo Shale Wow, half a century - where would I start. ...
That's great! I never grew up with them. I was 20 or so when they were born. I had no relationship with my bio dad. My sister and I have similar things in common. I don't see them often.
This is surprisingly bothersome to me, so today I wrote more about my hurt feelings: Saturday October 3, 2015 No, let's tell it like it is. I am more than a little hurt to be ignored by my family. Yes, I am the uncle and great uncle that has rebelled against convention but I am still an uncle and brother in this family. And, even tho I have only been periferally involved with this family, living for most of their lives in New Orleans or the tip of the Florida peninsula, I have visited them over the years and have watched them grow up and was a momentary part of their lives when I visited Missouri. Family at St. Louis Zoo 2007 I was impressed by Jay's accomplishments as a young adolescent in this modern age of computers and technology when he helped me and his grandfather upload a video from my camera. Jay at Computer 2009 I even followed Jay's aspirations in acting, or as much as his mother posted on her facebook wall. When an appeal went out last year for his school trip to Europe, I saw the value of world travel to a young man and contributed. Gofundme 2014 And now, I find that he was enamored of another young man even then and I had no clue, no sharing in his life. We last met face-to-face with the entire family at my mother's (his great grandmother's) funeral - both adult men but I was not included in a part of his personal life that I would have been most happy to know about - that he had followed his heart and dared to love another man. Entire Family Gathering January 2015 So yes, I am quite hurt to be excluded from my family. Who Knew?
Well, I am too old for this kind of drama. I just sent a PM to my family members on facebook to get some kind of resolution. ------------------------- DEAR FAMILY I AM HAVING A PROBLEM WITH FAMILY And, I thot it best to let it out because it has affected me more than I would like. I recently discovered that Jay is in love with another young man. I was elated to find out that he followed his heart and apparently is out in the open with it and his family accepts that. That is wonderful, especially in light of the many, many young ppl who are kicked out of their homes by parents who for some reason cannot understand that love is love and race or gender is irrelevant. So, what is my problem? Why did I accidentally discover this wonderful news TWO YEARS AFTER IT TOOK PLACE? I always thot that I was out to everyone here. I do not mince my history with my "roommate" Jim with whom I traveled the world for five years. My recent vacation in Italy, sponsored by my well-off lover Michel was shared with everyone on facebook and many by e-mail and while I did not go into detail, it was implied that we are lovers. So, I assume that everyone knows that I am bi. (That explains my two decades with Brenda, my black wife). And, I assumed everyone was cool with this even if they may have had issues with it. Which brings me to the problem of feeling left out of "family" matters. I saw all of you in January of this year. (May I assume that my sister knows as well? Do not want to out anyone who is not ready by mentioning it to her). I really feel bad about feeling bad about this but have learned over a very long life that writing these things out is cathartic. I am attaching my Journal Entry on this if you care to read. Love, Uncle Shale
