Finding bisexual compatibility

Many of you know my situation in being a closeted married bi man. It seems I’m having difficulty finding a sexual match, my preference is to have just one male friend with benefits. I primarily seek guys in the same sexless marriage situation as I am in. And all have been masculine men. When being intimate with them I find myself wanting to be pleasured softly or for lack of another way to put it, the way I have experienced with women. It seems every man I am with is just rougher and I can’t cum because it’s too distracting for me.

should I be looking for men that are more on the feminine side of things?

 

Probably would get you a gentler treatment? But will you be satisfied if it's a non masculine man doing it?
Pardon the pun, but "use your words" in writing your ads? Say you want a masculine bi man to have sex with you gently, like he would to a woman? While a masculine gay man should be capable of understanding soft and gently, you might have better luck with bi men who have experienced the frame of reference with a woman that you are looking for?

 

I am the same. Finding a bi guy living alone who's slow and sensual and not pushy is near to impossible. I found a gay guy who was quite happy to go with my restricted repertoire, being bi because females weren't happening for me. I didn't want anal, so he and I sucked each other a lot, in various ways, slowly, taking a long time at it. He used to hint at wanting my cock in him and he was so hygenic and so willing to just play around I didn't feel pressured. Playing around one evening, rubbing around his butt crack, he moved his hips and in one smooth movement, he had my 7 inches right up him. "Oh, sorry. I wasn't going to do that" I said lamely. He said he loved it and was always clean and checked out medically, and He'd love me to keep doing it, so I proceeded to give it to him after that. His calm, slow approach actually got him what he wanted and there I was, swearing I'd never do it, actually enjoying making him moan.
If I get back to bi, I'd still like to stay away from it. My wife knew and surprisingly was OK with it. She couldn't have sex...long story.

 

I spent an afternoon and night with a bi guy at a campground once who was both masculine and affectionate. What a great combination. I'm the same way, so after a mutual stroke and caress session, we just dissolved together in a full body embrace, got totally quiet for a few seconds, and then very naturally kissed. We had the same wonderful kiss just before we drove off in separate directions the next morning.

I wish more men would express such intense affection toward each other.

 

I have alway chatted some with a guy before meeting. And there is always discussion on preferences and likes and dislikes. I share what it is I like.

 

Maybe if you find a couple online porn movies showing exactly what you want?
Either it seems like your descriptions are not getting across, or they lose themselves in the moment, or frankly don't care what you want?

 

I think It’s likely a combination of things. Some just are who they are and aren’t able to consider anything different. Others like you say don’t care. They want what they want and really don’t care what I want. They say what they think they need to to get a meet.

 

When my wife was finding guys for threesomes, quite often they weren't exactly whom I would have chosen. Having said that we had a great time.

My buddy and I are compatible being that he is a top, I'm a bottom and neither of kiss.

I've been with quite a few guys who want a blow job and aren't going to give one, I'm okay with that. Sometimes they become curious to try.

It helps me that I'm not looking for an emotional connection, simply a good time.

 

for me i don't really like the feminine types.. i really look for sold bear types like me and have found a number of regulars both bi married and gay.
funny though most the bi married guys would seem a bit rougher .. no real love .. just wanting to have their cock sucked and cum... it's more about them and i don't mind just sucking their cocks
the gay men i see it is more about making love and i enjoy being kissed and cuddled and fucked and fucking them .. seems to be more about everyone's enjoyment

 

I totally get it. It seems like the only experience or example some guys have is rough-sex porn. I don't get it. Or maybe they're over-compensating, trying to act macho in what some might consider a non-macho sexual situation? Whatever the case, I'm completely turned off by effeminate guys, but I also don't want to be handled like a sack of potatoes or something sub-human. Luckily, I've had a fair amount of luck finding other like-minded men in similar marital situations. That always dramatically enhances the experience.

 

The trick with pursuing a feminine guy is that he will probably want to to be dominate. Is that what you are looking for?

 

no one I'm aware of would even consider me to be bi.. but I was never rough.. and if partner got rough he'd quickly see things differently.. communicating boundaries/preferences is the key..

like that JG Went___th commercial:

it's your body.. use it when and how you want to!

since you and I seem to be in similar situations (married; seeking ONE FWB for vertical/horizontal tun) I'd be a great match.. unfortunately, CA/OR border seems so far away from mist guys..,

 

As a bottom, I remain submissive and open to the desires of my top, always looking to try something fun to spice things up. Simple sex is fine with me. I also enjoy getting sensual and passionate if that's what he likes. I had a FB who used to use my body like I was his mistress and it was very hot and amazing. We both got the lust and passion we craved. The rest of the week we were just a couple of dads looking after our families.

My present FB sessions have recently been evolving in that direction. It began with us being extra horny and the two of us turning on the passion and making out hot and heavy. We both blew our loads extra hard, lol. So now we've risen above me just sucking his cock and him pounding my ass (which still was a lot of fun).

I still have no real attraction to men and no plans of running away to elope. Whether it's a session of mad lust or just a suck n fuck, it just comes down to satisfying an essential need for us both. You don't need to be emotionally connected to have some hot passionate sex.

 

Everything is a spectrum and various shades of grey. I consider myself somewhat bi-sexual, but essentially hetero-romantic. Similar to you,having no real deep attraction for men, nor ever wanting to run away and elope, either.
I had a lot of confusion until I grasped that romantic can be separate from sexual interest!
Until recently, most surveys & academic research, and most people writing articles do not make that distinction. Many still do not.
I personally think if you did separate them, there would be a higher percentage of men who are bisexual, but think they are not because they have no romantic interest in men, unlike most gay men?
I imagine the percentages for bi women would be far higher than they already are, given a more socially approving atmosphere for women to be physically and emotionally close to each other as friends.

 

quite right..

in general, a woman's attraction to another woman - whether committed lesbians or a transient need - is emotionally-based..

not so for males..

while there are definitely emotionally-based relationships among men that also include sexual attraction, a male's need to be sexual with another male is - more than women - driven primarily by sexual need; often an urgency where even knowing the partner's name beforehand isn't all that important..

 

To each their own, but as a bisexual bottom guy who's masculine in appearance but with a feminine side himself, I don't think another guy with a feminine side would be a good match for me. For me personally, it's hard to imagine another guy with an undeniable feminine side wanting to top another guy. I'm a total bottom with guys, I've never had the desire to top another guy, and that's never gonna change.
While I'm sure there's plenty of cute/hot feminine guys/"femboys" out there, if I ever encounter one in person, I'd just either not look or admire them from afar, as there's a very good chance they'd be similar to myself, and wanting/looking for the same thing in another guy as I am